How to offer to pay for Disney

I just wanted to pop on and say you are a lovely sister. I often pay for things for my sister because financially I can.

I would speak to your sister and say how it would make you and your children happy to have them there with you. That way you're almost making it as though she's doing you a favour by coming.

How does that change anything? Most people would still feel beholden .

I would say that you've had a bonus, won some money on the lottery or something to that effect...I think it's always easier for people to accept money if they think it's extra money if that makes sense? Also, what a lovely thing to do...I hope you have a fab time

Surely part of the issue now will be if it’s for this October a lot of people will already have booked out their annual leave and may not have 2 weeks left .

Just a warning that you said she could probably pay meals- Disney is horrifically extortionate- if you’re paying for them you’d have to speak to her seriously and make sure they can pay for anything there, because imagine you being her and the first day even her whole budget could be burnt through and then secretly you’re irritated they have no money to help out. We had a small sharing type meal in one or two places for six of us and couldn’t get it below €150

I personally would never be able to accept such a gift, you paying for them all to go would feel way too awkward to me.

Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed! 🤣

Sometimes people can want to do nice things because they are nice people. As a kid I never went on holiday, and my friend's family took me with them to Disneyland Paris. I never once felt they were 'stealth boasting', just bringing their kid's best friend along on a lovely experience because they could afford to extend that kindness.

just message your sister ‘the kids are desperate to have their cousins come with us to Disney so we thought we could surprise them by having you all join us. What do you think? Would be completely our treat. No offence taken if you would rather not.’

If I was your sister I’d say yes and would make sure I paid for treats etc that I could afford and offer to babysit all the kids while there so you and DH could have some nights out etc

It’s her sister.

Quite the opposite. She’s trying to do something kind without offending anyone and some posters are being vile.

Why don't you go for self catering accomodation?- share the grocery cost but your friend can do the shopping and cooking- she won't feel so beholden and you still get a catered holiday.

Oh my lord! Some people here will turn absolutely anything into an excuse to be mean and bitter!

OP, it's a lovely thing to do. It's hard to say without knowing the guy but most people wouldn't resent generosity.

I think coming from the point of view of the kids wanting their cousins there is best, and obviously only ask your sister first before mentioning to any of the kids.
Please be fully prepared for them to say no though, and respect that choice. There is no way in a million years I would accept this offer. I wouldn’t even accept a £700 package deal to Europe being paid for by someone else, let alone a 2 week trip costing thousands of pounds.

which Disney is it?

I have no idea how much that’d cost for a family of four - 10k? More?

In OP’s shoes I’d have a quiet chat with the sister - not telling any of the children - and let her broach the topic with her husband.

@Xante the op isn't expecting them to pay for anything.

How much are you expecting to pay for them to go? How much are you expecting them to pay?

If they still have to pay for meals and extras it could be that he still doesn’t want to, if it’s not affordable and he doesn’t want to spend a fortnight with his in-laws.

All you can do is offer and see what they say. I would make it clear there are no strings attached though, and that it really is just because your kids would love to have their cousins with them and it would make it even more special. They would be free to do their own thing though whenever they wanted.

Be prepared for them to say no though! It's hard being the poorer sibling, not being able to keep up but also not wanting to be a charity case. If they say no you will have to just accept that while it was a very kind and generous offer, they would prefer to live a bit more within their means. Which is a very sensible thing to do!

Ah ok, they probably could offer something i mean you know them best but your Bil might just feel awkward not paying for anything,

Oh I thought it was just the children you wanted to take, I would just frame it is a big family holiday your treat. They can put into the food fund. Ive not been to Orlando for years but you can eat outside the parks quite reasonably.

I wish you were my sister 😂 my kids want to go, I def can't afford it lol.

Could it be an early Xmas Present? You can still buy something little to open in actual Xmas but it might make it feel less weird if he's likely to be odd about it?

Is it just the kids or the adults too you're happy to pay for?

I agree with just speaking to your sister and offering, do you have any specific reason to think BIL would have an issue with it?

I wouldn’t do it as a birthday/Christmas present as it would most likely overshadow the presents from their parents and set up expectations for future gifts.