To have expected a bit more acknowledgment of the help I gave?

Ah I misunderstood...but I thought that the "thanks" came very quickly ie before the girl had had the chance to look at it

Please don’t send a pass agg message, it’ll make you look even worse than them.

If it’s bothering you this much why not follow up with a hey, how did you get on with your submission? Hope you found the comments helpful, good luck! Etc and see if it prompts anything.

No, the OP took an hour and a half to look at it and sent it to the girl who said "thanks" in response.

Also the girl said “ thanks” at the initial stage, before OP had done the work.
Surely more fulsome gratitude was required AFTER the OP had spent so much of her own time on it.

I have also had experience of this and get very narked, but only once went down the “ hope you found this helpful “ route. I did get a reply and guess what it said “ Yes it was helpful, thanks”

🧐

I would send a message. It doesn't even need to be passive aggressive (at first!)

'Hi. Just wondering if the feedback I did for your daughter's dissertation was helpful?'

See what the mother's response is and then you can decide about pointing out the effort you made.

I think "thanks" is inadequate yes. Its dismissive and sounds like she cant be arsed and wants to use the least amount of words possible.

Its akin to me texting a friend and saying "I am so sorry I cant meet you tomorrow, I'm feeling really unwell" and them just replying "ok".

Most people would say "ok- I hope you feel better soon" etc

There is nothing inherently rude about "thanks" in itself but considering the amount of time the OP has put in, it comes across like she can barely be arsed.

So "thanks" is rude but "thank you so much" isn't rude? Would "thank you" have been rude?

Its interesting. I would agree that just thanks comes across as a bit abrupt but tone is everything and in person a "thanks" could be delivered in a way that just doesn't come across in an email depending on tone and the look on someone's face.

I think you should leave it.

She should have thanked you, but isn't it supposed to be the girl's own work? Seems a bit like cheating if you gave that much help on how to rewrite it. Other students will be marked on what they've produced on their own.

I think a passive aggressive message is even ruder and will backfire.

She said thank you. She was probably full on working on the dissertation. You may well still get a further thank you if you need more.

A passive aggressive message to a teen is not going to land the way you think it will anyway and will just upset the parents. Likelihood is she didn't even want you to look at it and the mother was pushing it.

As a matter of curiosity if she had said "thank you so much" would that have been viewed as rude. Is it just the abrupt nature of the "thank you"?

I would follow up with a message - 'just checking in how your daughter's dissertation went, hope she found my feedback helpful etc.'. it might be that she is planning to thank you with some flowers when she gets her result and sending a follow up message would hopefully be a nudge in this direction.....

Very rude.

Years ago, when I was teaching a class of 6 - 8 year olds, there was a huge fall of snow which closed the roads all around our school. Parents were notified and collected their children - all except one mum who said she couldn't come out. On a normal day it would have been a 15 minute car ride from school to her house. I walked the poor girl all the way back to her mum. We were both frozen when we got there. Her mum opened the door, dragged the girl inside and slammed the door shut again. No offer of a hot drink. No thank you. I was absolutely gobsmacked.

@Kerrylass that's very kind of you but reading that I'm not sure why you did it!

It's so rude I'd have to feed that back - via husband or friend I think.

The young person would benefit from learning manners - they need to learn it before the go out entitled into the world of work

for starters I dont think I'd ask someone that anyway about a young person they barely knew - and if I did I'd be very very polite about it!

If you find yourself in a similar spot again, try this phrase; "I'm rather busy, but the extra cash would be helpful!"
People who recognize the skill you have to offer and appreciate your time and talents will have no trouble with this, and I have been known to give "mate's rates" or even free help to people who value my time and trouble, but it has caused a few shocked looks and embarrassed silences.........

That was incredibly rude and selfish of them both..

Unfortunately, some people in life are just 'takers' and they give no thought whatsoever to those who are helping them. I would have been absolutely delighted if someone did this for me whilst I was at uni.

I think it was such a kind thing for you to do - and of course, should anything like this crop up again in the future, the default answer is 'No'.

I have experienced this , some people are just very rude and entitled..

I feel like this is a young people thing. Not all of them obviously, but I see it with my own. A short "thanks!" (at least hers would have an exclamation mark 🙄) by text or if in person the thank you would be said before the person who did the favour has even finished talking, thus not even hearing it. I'm appalled and have said so but of course they know best

Also just wanted to add that I so also have a positive experience with this.

I once helped out a friend of a friend with editing the English in his dissertation (pre-Grammarly and AI days!) and he thanked me by cooking a huge meal for me and DH. He was from Rome, and made the effort to source authentic Roman meats, wine, dessert etc. Candle light, he even had cloth napkins! He hosted it in his tiny apartment, we had to move the table to the wall to all squeeze in.

The food was so delicious, and it was such a wonderful thank you. I still think warmly about it to this day.

This happened to me many years ago. The person even had the audacity to hurry me up with 'When do you think you'll be done?' messages. I couldn't believe it and felt like such a mug.

I now only do things like that for pay. I don't care if it makes me sound like an a-hole. My time is precious, I've worked hard for my qualifications and experience, and you can pay me just like everyone else. I might give a family/friends discount but that's it.

I’ve had this so many times over the years OP. Where a contact gets in touch expecting advice on the spot, never for the “5 minutes” they say and always as a favour 🤦🏼‍♀️

The best one was a friend of my SIL calling me directly (SIL handed her my number!!). I didn’t know this other woman at all. I helped her, then never heard a peep from her again. I asked SIL about it a few weeks later and apparently it all got settled and she got a good outcome. Presumably using the advice and wording I’d given her. Lovely 😂

YANBU -

Reminds me of the time i made a large pavalova for a party my sister was hosting. One of the guests that attended ( a woman i know vagely) was complementing me on it and said that her husband is celiac and that its a great desert for him. About 2 months later i got a call asking would i make one for her. I did, piled high with cream and fruit. She called to my door to collect it and said thanks....no bottle of wine, no chocolates, just a thanks and out the door.

Still picking my jaw off the floor.

@Ryanstartedthefire2 is quite right about people being paid to type up dissertations in the 80's; a friend and I stepped into the breach when another friend was let down over his M.Mus dissertation. I provided the electric typewriter ( I said it was a long time ago!) while friend who was familiar with all the nitpicking detail of how to lay out an academic paper knocked it into shape; the original ideas were his own, but certainly back then there were very specific criteria for layout.
The original typist was not aware that quotations from other European languages were part of the script when they took it on, and baulked at guaranteeing the high standard of accuracy with spelling, accents etc required.
Our friend was extremely grateful, and made sure that we knew it!
I would imagine that there are computer programs these days to do a lot of this, but there was most certainly a fee involved back then, even for simply typing out scripts in plain old English!