To not reprimand staff for not smiling?

Don’t do it OP - tell your boss you are not going to join in the harassment of women in your workplace

The expectation for women to smile, often directed by men, is a widely recognized social phenomenon often described as a form of social conditioning, politeness, or, in many cases, a microaggression or harassment.1, 2]

Here is a breakdown of the issue, based on social commentary and research:

Social Conditioning & Expectation: From a young age, girls are often praised for being pleasant and smiling, while boys are encouraged to be more stoic. This creates a "great divide" where women are socially conditioned to use smiling to defuse tension, appear approachable, or hide discomfort.

"Objectification" and Control: Telling a woman to smile is frequently seen as a way of reducing her to an object meant for male consumption, rather than a person with her own feelings. It can feel like an attempt to control a woman's body or emotional expression.

Context of Harassment: Many women report being told to "smile" by strangers on the street or in the workplace, which is often experienced as an intrusion or a demanding, condescending action rather than a friendly comment.

I think you’re right to question it given what you know of the member of staff - I’d go back and ask customer what was it he didn’t get that he should of and if it’s only the able that’s so sus - did he get listened to - served in orderly fashion etc

im sorry I want to 🤢 about the whole situation

Aside i remember the male ceo at the charity I worked for asking me who was a women who I wanted to celebrate on women’s day and I said Janet street porter - he rejected it - he rejected my choice of icon!!! He just murmured and rejected it - not smiley and complaint to men enough!

I used to work hospitality and they most definitely did

Whether or not the customer was correct, there is no harm in reminding staff to be welcoming - how your deliver that message is up to you.
I try to use independent shops but am always put off those where the staff barely look up, make no attempt to say hello (esp when I am the only customer) and generally look bored or make me feel like an inconvenience. This may not be how they intend to behave but if that is how they make me feel then they lose my custom.

Agree. Welcoming is a combination of things. Eye contact, attention, pleasant tone of voice, words used, and yes, a smile of greeting, which isn't the same as a fixed grin, it's a brief expression that goes with the rest of it.
If I were you I'd observe her myself, focus on the whole package and then if necessary you can give specific feedback on things she could change that don't have to be about her natural face.

I work in customer service and greet customers with a smile but it is not normal to continue smiling for 10 hrs straight. There is nothing more irritating then men as its always men telling you to smile. I never get it said now im older but late teens early 20s men had an opinion on everything you are doing. Some Men always older men can be horrible and pervy to the young female staff.

I just can’t imagine a man being pulled up on lack of smiling

I’m a retail manger - small business which requires the sales assistant to be hands on and help each customer.

Are you happy with your member of staff? Do you feel that they need to up the game when it comes to their welcome?

If this happened in my shop and I was happy with my staff member and had no issues then I would go back to head office and say that my member of staff is welcoming and approachable and give great customer service so I will not single her out to deliver the feedback. I would however say that I will do a refresher training session for all staff and inform them all that there has been a comment made on the welcome received by a customer. Then I would remind them all what is expected.

At the end of the day - our businesses don’t exist without customers. And with the way the high street is at the moment, returning customers make a huge difference to us so we want them to feel welcome and leave happy!! BUT - I have dealt with a few customer reviews over my years in retail which have greatly exaggerated the truth (and some just downright lies 🫠) so I’m not going to upset a good member of staff over something like that!!

And I wouldn't say it to the group, I'd ask for a quiet word, show her the review and give her a chance to put her side forward.

Does head office really insist on a reprimand after ust one such review?

I'd have thought that either it's a really really bad review OR it's a consistent piece of feedback?

I really feel 90% sure he wouldn’t have said anything if it was a man serving him.

You see I think in order to be professional, you need to go at it with a neutral mind.

You have no idea really until you speak to the staff member but seeing it firmly as sexist, because you've made your mind up that's what it was, isn't really helpful.

Of course there may have been sexism at play, but there may just as easily have not been.

Perhaps he was being a dick and that's why she didn't smile or welcome him.

Agree with the person who said say it to the group rather than the individual. Remind everyone to be welcoming (which is important) rather than the smiley thing which could be the result or Botox for all the complainer knows.

I do think this is part of the job in customer facing roles to be honest. If I go out for dinner and the waiter or waitress takes my order and brings the food out well but looks miserable the entire time it does impact the experience. It feels like you’re a hassle!

I agree with a PP that it's less about not smiling and more about the lack of welcome. I don't think a smile is necessarily 100%. important to feel welcoming. Someone can greet you enthusiastically and politely without smiling, although Id' argue that a genuinely warm greeting WOULD naturally include a smile.

We've all been into shops and restaurants where the staff make you feel like they're doing you a massive favour just for showing you to a table. That's not welcoming and its inappropriate in this setting.

Oh you are funny @SleepingDogsLie and yes, I know you're probably not trying to be.

OP, why don't you just show the staff member the review and take the conversation from there?

For all you know, he may have been rude to her. There's no need to jump to 'reprimanding' until you've had a conversation.

I meant it to mean exactly the same

Some men - usually older sexist ones - like to take offence if women (especially younger ones) do not smile and fawn over them. I have had this just on the street or in a shop, nothing to do with work. I had an older relative who complained when a waitress did not smile enough when answering his (nosy) questions. She was absolutely fine, polite and professional. In your shoes as manager I'd speak to her if I absolutely had to, but somehow phrase it that the customer was awkward and its not her fault.

No, thank goodness. But that hasn’t spared me from inane comments about how I should smile once in a while

Please leave me alone and find someone else to pick on.

Do you work with the public in the catering/hospitality business though, where you're expected to smile and welcome customers?

My last sentence was “Shame they just didn’t like my face” so obviously I was going to assume that’s what you were replying to. I’m not psychic. You don’t need to immediately respond with rudeness and sarcasm. Your response was not clear.

It doesn’t come naturally to me, and I feel very self conscious about grinning like a village idiot. It feels forced and uncomfortable.