To not reprimand staff for not smiling?

I'm a bit torn in this. I work in retail and I smile at literally every customer even if I feel like death and they are miserable bastards. It's pretty easy to fake it, however the customer comes across a bit of a git. An older man taking the time to make a written complaint about a young woman not smiling enough is a bit....off.

A warm and friendly welcome from staff whatever their gender really enhances the experience. We can sometimes be a miserable lot in the UK - getting better at it for sure - but it's usual pretty much everywhere else around the world to greet customers in shops and restaurants with a smile and exchange a friendly word. I wouldn't reprimand the member of staff but use it as a learning opportunity for her to improve her interaction with customers. Whatever job she does in the future it will help her because it puts the other person in a good positive frame of mind so spreads good vibes all round and she will get back much more positive reactions from customers. Sadly some customers are rude but hey that's life. Shame we can't leave them reviews.

This.

I would expect both men and women in the hospitality industry to be welcoming and this definitely includes smiling.

When I arrive at hotel reception or even the dentist I expect a smile and a welcome. Not expecting a Cheesy grin but a smile and a warm tone in their voice

‘Reprimand’ is an awful approach to management. You are both adults. Not a parent and a naughty child.

give the staff member the feedback in a constructive way and ask them to consider how they are coming across to customers

@barkygoldie It’s staff reductions. No time! I remember when John Lewis had do many staff they used to hang around in clusters talking to each other!

I feel mixed about this. Also rankle at the possible misogyny of ‘women are there to smile and look pleasing to men’. Yet I do think smiles are important for everyone! Also I notice in M&S the staff seem a bit miserable when you used to really notice that they’d make a point of chatting, in what felt like a genuine way. I love a wee natter with a sales person, I think that connection with strangers is a nice thing. Maybe you can just raise a discussion with the whole staff team about the issues and ask how they feel?

‘If you work on an office at a computer, who cares what your face is doing.’

It’s still expected to smile at colleagues.

(Sadly) smiling at people is part of the ‘emotional labour’ of many jobs.

’She doesn’t have a naturally ‘smiley’ face’. There’s no such thing: smiling is an action. You probably mean she doesn’t smile much.

Agree that it was a silly complaint and potentially motivated by misogyny. In your situation I might not mention it to the team member, if I could get away with that, or if not would say something along the lines of what PPs have suggested and not mention smiling.

There is plenty of evidence that even faking a smile is good for you.

It isn't too much to expect a customer facing employee to staple on a smile.

I'm not manipulating women's bodies. And it's just as bad if a man in hospitality appears unwelcoming. This is not a feminist issue, it's a hospitality issue.

If you work on an office at a computer, who cares what your face is doing. But if people are paying to have have a drink or a meal they're expecting a degree of warmth in the welcome and the service.
If you're in a restaurant and your server, male or female, doesn't engage with you in a friendly manner, it takes away from the experience. No-one expects to be given an ear to ear grin, but if you refuse to even give half a smile in welcome, you're not suited to hospitality.

Likewise, in my role I soon recognised that my 'concentrating' face was not going to be effective in making the vulnerable people I work with feel comfortable and welcome. So I put them first and ensure that I appear welcoming and approachable when they arrive. It's an important part of the role, and my organisation wouldn't employ anyone, paid or voluntary, of they refused to demonstrate warmth.

it’s the same for everyone in hospitality, customer service and customer facing jobs irrespective of gender
your expected to be friendly engaging which is down to your body language and facial expression

And if the shitty review obviously aimed at her is public and she may have seen it then maybe check she's OK because that's really horrible. Some won't care a jot but some might be really upset about it and given she sounds to be conscientious in her work I would've thought it would bruise if not dent her.

Sounds like you should pass this complaint over tbh. I don’t think smiling is a requirement as long as otherwise they were courteous and professional,

If I were your staff member
You would be getting a complaint from me to HR or whatever your equivalent is about how you have been sexist, enabled misogynist attitudes, damaged my confidence and made me feel miserable and self conscious.
I'd probably also look for another job to be honest.

But then I am utterly sick of "cheer up love", "give us a smile" men snd women who pander to them.

I hope you have given her praise where due and she knows she is valued.

What the hell is this resting bitch face?

is it what we call “concentrating” when we are referring to men

stop trying to manipulate women’s bodies

That’s the patriarchy - we don’t have to abide by it - it’s wrong to control women’s bodies

on the contrary I think they would look further at overall experience

So. Thats her face. I have a pal like that who would give you the shirt of her back. We cant judge people by their resting face. If she had loads of complaints fair enough but one (two tops) is a have her back situation imo. Is anyone perfect? Who wants to be part of a situation where we moan and complain about every little thing we dont do perfectly. Compalin when there is a complaint. Not when you dont 100% like someones facial expression. We are all someone's daughter/mother/sister/whoever just trying to work and pay the bills. He was a grumpy man imo. Let him moan. We need to build each other up. Tell the employee you trust her appreciate her and she and the work place will be better. Moan and pull up for every little thing and the work place is toxic and no one is happy.

You said that she had resting bitch face. And it doesn't matter how polite her words are, if they're accompanied by RBF.

This is nothing like a random guy telling you to 'smile - it might never happen'. Working in hospitality means that you have to be welcoming. And if you don't have even a hint of warmth in your face, you're not welcoming.

I too have resting bitch face, and I hate it. But I have a weekly volunteering role where it's very important that the service users receive a warm welcome. So I had to learn to make sure that I smiled. It took very little time for it to come naturally, and if I'm honest, I enjoy the role more now, as I get the same warmth back.

So yep, she needs to fake it until she makes it.

Someone with a resting bitch face shouldn’t be front of house or dealing with customers frankly

Anybody doing an inspection in retail or hospitality this is one of the things they check The manner and friendliness they were greeted so I doubt gender is relevant

your the first point of contact if you will the face of the business
there's no easy way to tell anyone they look miserable so it’s easy feedback “smile”

think every time you do a survey for a company the first question is generally about the greeting

He said she wasn’t “smiling enough”!!!

so her smile wasn’t up to his male gaze - ffs

I find it telling that it was a man complaining about women not smiling at him. Would a woman complain that a man didn't smile at her?

Give this waitress a warning? You'll do no such thing. Tell your boss you issued one if you like, but don't dignify this arsehole's petty nonsense.