To ask how you felt getting told off/shouted at as a child

I hated getting told off, I was nausiatingly well behaved as a child and didn't get told off very often. My sister on the other hand had far more spunk than I'll ever have, but used to smile when she got into trouble which wasn't appreciated! My mum was very strict but even she eventually realised she couldn't help her response.

I am also ND (which I didn’t discover until my children were diagnosed by the NHS) and also have memories of being absolutely terrified and distressed by shouting/angry adults, but in my case I think it’s partly because adults at home genuinely weren’t safe and their anger was actually dangerous. My mother and stepfather both had serious rage issues. So I’m not sure whether my stomach turning to water, nausea, shaking etc when people lose their tempers around me is RSD or trauma or both.

We were always getting smacked, not only me and my siblings but all my friends too. It was just par for the course.

I didn’t give a shit.

Even when small, I would get shouted at and I didn’t care at all. I was “naughty” with intention, so I didn’t give a shit if I was told off for it, I wanted to do the things I’d done.

One of my children was the same (he’s an adult now). You could tell him off and he didn’t care at all.

Intense fear and shame. I hadn’t considered the connection to rsd, but it’s interesting to consider whether there was a propensity to that in childhood, or whether certain childhood experiences created a propensity for rsd in adulthood, eg when giving out was accompanied by physical punishment

Me? Usually righteous indignation for a few minutes and then I quickly forgot about it. I haven't changed.

I hated it. I used to lie in bed at night and pray “please don’t let me get into trouble for anything tomorrow”. My school and parents were very strict.

It’s the reason I now try to do parenting with clear boundaries and consequences but minimal shouting (am not always successful!). Being shouted at in front of people makes me feel absolutely terrified and I don’t want my kids to feel like that.

I can remember getting told off a lot as a teenager for the usual stuff, misbehaving at school, skiving school, being cheeky, not doing homework, being home late, got taken home by the police a few times, underage drinking. And all I can remember is thinking I wish my mother would just shut up, she’s shouting at me and quite frankly I couldn’t give a shit. And I still kind of have that mentality towards authority today 😬

Frozen, terrified and desperately, desperately unhappy.

Yes I did. I started school a very sociable child who would talk to anyone. I hated being told off so much in primary school that I developed a fear of talking incase I said the wrong thing or spoke when I wasn’t supposed to. I now have pretty bad social anxiety and struggle to talk to people I don’t know well. I also suspect that I may have inattentive ADHD and rejection sensitive dysphoria, though I have not tried to get a diagnosis.

If I'd done something "serious" then I'd feel embarrassed and sometimes ashamed. But what used to upset me more was my mum's silent treatment. Then I would experience similar emotions to you the ones you describe OP. I wanted her to love me and be proud of me and she was frequently neither. Being shouted at (although not exactly great) at least validated my existence.

I’m sure I felt upset and ashamed especially if I’d deliberately done something wrong but it depends on the seriousness of it.

Don't remember tbh