Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Does someone not looking at you mean they are lying?

34 replies

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:40

I have just had a teams call and the person wouldn't look at me and was looking away.

The call was telling me I wasn't successful for a job. I don't know if the stuff they said between it - eg you interviewed well etc, it was just a couple of points between you etc

Could it mean they were lying or it was a difficult conversation for them? Or a bit of both?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
TigerRag · 12/05/2026 18:30

Some of us have disabilities which make eye contact (and also in my case I can't look straight ahead) difficult. I have the added issue of having a visible eye condition. I know you can see it and it makes me uncomfortable

RACanGoGetFucked · 12/05/2026 18:29

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:45

Lol no I know this person. They aren't autistic, or should I say this isn't normal for them

Then is could be why, if you’re close enough to them that they’ve told you their medical/personal info then maybe having to tell you that you hadn’t been successful in getting the job was uncomfortable for them and they felt bad for you and were trying to get it over with asap.

RACanGoGetFucked · 12/05/2026 18:26

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/05/2026 16:42

My mother used to accuse me of lying because I wouldn't look her in the eye and I kept smiling.

I am ND. I was not lying. But I got punished anyway. Perhaps the person just has trouble making and keeping eye contact.

Same.

HedgeKnights · 12/05/2026 17:10

They were probably looking at you but that isn't the same as looking at the camera, so from your perspective it would look like they were looking away

ChaosIsTwix · 12/05/2026 17:09

It was Teams 🤣 you're overthinking this. I look at the person on screen not the camera. You would have no idea where they were looking, they might have had another screen they were looking at or writing notes...

Error404FucksNotFound · 12/05/2026 17:05

Maybe it was just awkward.

incognito1991 · 12/05/2026 17:05

No, I have anxiety and struggle to make eye contact when talking to someone in certain situations, I tend to look at something else

WonderingWanda · 12/05/2026 17:04

It sounds like they were reading from some notes. I assume you don't believe the reasons they gave and think they were lying. Even if they weren't telling the full truth what difference does it make. You didn't get the job.

Chaotica · 12/05/2026 17:02

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:43

But it is.

Show quote history

Why? If the camera is in one place and you are on a screen in another direction, they would be looking at you and not the camera. It happens often on Teams. If the person has two screens, the same thing can happen. Even if the camera is directly above the screen, someone's eyes will not always look like they are looking at you. I think you are reading way to much into this.

mumofoneAloneandwell · 12/05/2026 17:00

Could be either or

Its more than a lack of eye contact that tells you something is off. One way or another, I dont think youll find out, unless you know the people otherwise?

Sorry x

Coconutter24 · 12/05/2026 16:51

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:44

To the corner. Away from the screen, I think maybe too a note pad.

Show quote history

Is it possible they were making notes on your interview? I wouldn’t say someone is lying because they aren’t looking at you in this case. Maybe he’s been doing interviews all day and just talking and writing or reading something on your Cv. I wouldn’t overthink it

TheSmallAssassin · 12/05/2026 16:48

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:44

To the corner. Away from the screen, I think maybe too a note pad.

Show quote history

Well, that sounds more likely, they were checking their notes.

Hankunamatata · 12/05/2026 16:47

Who knows. Perhaps they were nervous, perhaps they were checking their notes to make sure they covered everything.

I hate making eye contact and if im having to think about somehtong or remember I look above the person head to I can 'see' the info I need

TheSmallAssassin · 12/05/2026 16:46

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:43

But it is.

Show quote history

I tend to look at the person I am speaking to, on the screen, so that isn't necessarily at the camera, which is higher up. I find it quite difficult not to look at myself too, unless I hide myself.

Ponderingwindow · 12/05/2026 16:46

No. That is a neurotypical trope.

Arrowthroughtheknee · 12/05/2026 16:46

nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:44

To the corner. Away from the screen, I think maybe too a note pad.

Show quote history

if you are too dumb to work out what they were doing from this information then maybe it's as well you didnt get the job.

MiaKulper · 12/05/2026 16:45

It depends. If it was on Teams, they might be looking straight into your eyes but the camera showed otherwise.

I used to have meetings with someone whose camera showed the side of his face.

Original poster
nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:45

Lol no I know this person. They aren't autistic, or should I say this isn't normal for them

OP posts:
Original poster
nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:44

Coconutter24 · 12/05/2026 16:43

Where were they looking?

To the corner. Away from the screen, I think maybe too a note pad.

OP posts:
BallerinaFall · 12/05/2026 16:44

I'm autistic - im uesless at teams, but will be looking mainly you're way.

if he was in the office was he rudely doing other jobs ie reading emails while on the call.

Coconutter24 · 12/05/2026 16:43

Where were they looking?

Original poster
nonamenancynoo · 12/05/2026 16:43

Chaotica · 12/05/2026 16:42

They weren't looking at the camera. That is not the same as not looking at you.

But it is.

OP posts:
InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 12/05/2026 16:43

They might be autistic

Zimunya · 12/05/2026 16:42

In many cultures it's considered rude to look someone straight in the eye. But, most likely, the caller was uncomfortable delivering unpleasant news.

Octavia64 · 12/05/2026 16:42

They’re unpleasant calls to make.