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Original poster

AIBU to find constant hugging and saying ‘I love you’ unprofessional? (At work)

112 replies

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:23

I work with this woman who is quite extroverted she enjoys hugging everyone daily (usually full frontal) and will say “I love you” to coworkers.

These people aren’t anyone she’s known a long time, I’ve worked there longer than her & she does this with almost everyone including new hires.

I am more introverted/quiet so these interactions make me feel kinda strange. To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

We will be on group email or text and she will sign off “I love you!!! 🩷🩷🩷”

i know people are different but to me this seems inappropriate for the workplace (corporate) and makes me feel uncomfortable.
this woman will also disappear frequently throughout the day while she’s stopping and chatting with people (usually small talk that goes on too long)

is this unprofessional or am I being unreasonable?

I also want to add it makes me uncomfortable because if I’m standing there (we work on a team of two) while she’s hugging the coworkers, they then try to hug me, which I’m not a fan of, but it would make me seem cold in contrast to her for me to not participate.

OP posts:
Monty36 · 12/05/2026 15:49

I would suggest it is manipulative.
It is a ‘show’ she is in favour with you. Or you with her. It is something done for the benefit of other people to see.
But inappropriate in the workplace setting.
The only way it is okay is amongst people who are already established friends.

titchy · 12/05/2026 15:47

Weird and unprofessional - her line manager really should have said something about her communication.

Irememberwhenitwasallfieldsroundhere · 12/05/2026 15:46

YANBU, HR or her manager need to have a conversation about professionalism and boundaries. I would hate it if someone kept telling me they loved me at work. Ditto the hugging. It's inappropriate.

Oddly though, I met some people at work recently in person, who I'd only previously met on Teams and they pretty much all went in for a hug. Ewww. Obviously I didn't recoil but I was expecting handshakes since it's a professional working environment. I hope it doesn't happen again and it was just because it was the first time of meeting.

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:40

It is interesting how different people need/show affection. This woman is early 40s I’m a few years younger.

this woman doesn’t act this affectionate with me even though we work side by side in close quarters every day (which is fine by me)

She saves her lovey dovey heart squeezes for the other coworkers she doesn’t really know I just find it bizarre, and maybe kind of fake?

OP posts:
Lins77 · 12/05/2026 15:40

Is she from a different country/culture?

I only ask because it seems a very un-British way of going about things 😄

JustWhatever · 12/05/2026 15:38

Do you work with the Duchess of Sussex, perchance?

happy meghan markle GIF by Rachael Ray Show
LadyTable · 12/05/2026 15:38

It's unprofessional in the extreme.

No point in letting it get to you though, just assert your boundaries.

mrstea301 · 12/05/2026 15:36

i Was talking about this recently with my sister, how different the next generation is with affection etc, and I say this as an affectionate person! My sister and I are in our 40s, but we were talking about our cousins social media (cousin is in her early 20s) and my sister said “why are they all so lovey dovey with each other?!” 😂 I know part of it will be social media but they’re all constantly saying “love you!” Etc.

not that it’s a bad thing but I find it interesting how different it is - my friends and I wouldn’t do that on social media but feel that people are much more open with their affection / feelings in public now.

I do realise that this makes me sound really buttoned up 😂 but it’s just interesting to see how differently people express themselves as time goes on!

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:33

I want to add sometimes it makes communication inefficient because on the group chat, if we have to ask coworkers about a particular task, she will have multiple lines of text saying things like:

hi beautiful!!! 🩷🩷🩷

I love you!!!🩷🩷🩷🩷

Then she will send gifs saying “you’re amazing” or something along those lines

then have to scroll and scroll to find the information for the question we were needing the answer to

OP posts:
Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:30

It makes me feel like I’ve taken crazy pills, because to me “I love you” should mean something, not be said to basically random acquaintances you have to communicate throughout the day with (we work in a separate building on the same property as the other coworkers)

to me it just seems like she’s really needy of some attention/affection but it always leaves me feeling very weird.

I feel like I look like the weird one while she’s all love dovey. It just seems inappropriate

OP posts:
ClearFruit · 12/05/2026 15:28

🤮

Ilikewinter · 12/05/2026 15:27

Urgh I couldn't think of anything worse!! YANBU