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Original poster

AIBU to find constant hugging and saying ‘I love you’ unprofessional? (At work)

112 replies

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:23

I work with this woman who is quite extroverted she enjoys hugging everyone daily (usually full frontal) and will say “I love you” to coworkers.

These people aren’t anyone she’s known a long time, I’ve worked there longer than her & she does this with almost everyone including new hires.

I am more introverted/quiet so these interactions make me feel kinda strange. To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

We will be on group email or text and she will sign off “I love you!!! 🩷🩷🩷”

i know people are different but to me this seems inappropriate for the workplace (corporate) and makes me feel uncomfortable.
this woman will also disappear frequently throughout the day while she’s stopping and chatting with people (usually small talk that goes on too long)

is this unprofessional or am I being unreasonable?

I also want to add it makes me uncomfortable because if I’m standing there (we work on a team of two) while she’s hugging the coworkers, they then try to hug me, which I’m not a fan of, but it would make me seem cold in contrast to her for me to not participate.

OP posts:
abbynabby23 · 13/05/2026 10:25

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 15:23

I work with this woman who is quite extroverted she enjoys hugging everyone daily (usually full frontal) and will say “I love you” to coworkers.

These people aren’t anyone she’s known a long time, I’ve worked there longer than her & she does this with almost everyone including new hires.

I am more introverted/quiet so these interactions make me feel kinda strange. To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

We will be on group email or text and she will sign off “I love you!!! 🩷🩷🩷”

i know people are different but to me this seems inappropriate for the workplace (corporate) and makes me feel uncomfortable.
this woman will also disappear frequently throughout the day while she’s stopping and chatting with people (usually small talk that goes on too long)

is this unprofessional or am I being unreasonable?

I also want to add it makes me uncomfortable because if I’m standing there (we work on a team of two) while she’s hugging the coworkers, they then try to hug me, which I’m not a fan of, but it would make me seem cold in contrast to her for me to not participate.

I think you are over-engineering it tbh! It’s just who she is. I come from a Mediterranean country and as a culture we are all lovey dovey so I don’t find it strange. As long as she doesn’t do it to you, which as you mentioned she doesn’t what’s your issue? I guess she doesn’t do it to you cause she can sense you don't like it. The fact that she is an extrovert it doesn’t mean she is stupid.

CurlyKoalie · 13/05/2026 09:02

I hope the " huggers" who have responded to this post can see that there are an awful lot of other posters who find this sort of behaviour at work unacceptable.
Maybe the " huggers" need to look at the bigger picture and rein themselves in a bit!

FlowerSticker · 12/05/2026 22:36

We had one like this at work...I put a stop to it with me immediately. She tried to go in for a big, I blocked her a d stepped back. She kind of pouted and said "awww, flower, but I'm a hugger!"

And I said "well I'm not. Don't try to hug me again".

She never did. She did it to everyone else instead.

Ooooookay · 12/05/2026 22:34

This would not bother me at all. All people are different and I try to accept people for who they are. It doesn’t sound like she is a bad person just annoying (to you). Her manager can see how she is, if her manager considers that she is not working enough then it’s their responsibility to raise it, not yours. Everywhere you work some people will work harder than others, you just have to accept it and concentrate on your own work.

Pinkflamingo10 · 12/05/2026 22:26

Weird. Unprofessional. And fake af

ButterYellowFlowers · 12/05/2026 22:23

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 21:01

It adds up and takes time away from tasks getting done and work completed on time which is quite frustrating.

If we weren’t on a team of two I would not care, but it does impede on the workload

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Ah well that is different if it affects workload. Complain to your manager.

BellsoftheCarols · 12/05/2026 22:06

Do you work in TV lol

ainsleysanob · 12/05/2026 21:20

God I can only imagine my face if someone was to do this to me.

Unreleasedbillable · 12/05/2026 21:03

The I love you is unprofessional.

The hugging, maybe not.

I have a very huggy boss, not every day but if she hasn’t seen someone for a while.

She never does it with me because I made it pretty clear I don’t want to early on. We have a perfectly fine relationship, friendly, just no hugs!

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 21:01

ButterYellowFlowers · 12/05/2026 20:57

Most of it is none of your business tbh. Grow up and stop stewing over what someone else is doing.

You are not required to hug though. And stepping back and saying you’re ’not a hugger’ is fine and well.

It adds up and takes time away from tasks getting done and work completed on time which is quite frustrating.

If we weren’t on a team of two I would not care, but it does impede on the workload

OP posts:
SonyaLoosemore · 12/05/2026 21:00

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 20:58

That makes me feel better as I kept questioning myself.

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Many people would feel the same. I would cringe!

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 20:58

SonyaLoosemore · 12/05/2026 20:54

Extraordinary. You are well within the NT range objecting to this.

That makes me feel better as I kept questioning myself.

OP posts:
ButterYellowFlowers · 12/05/2026 20:57

Most of it is none of your business tbh. Grow up and stop stewing over what someone else is doing.

You are not required to hug though. And stepping back and saying you’re ’not a hugger’ is fine and well.

TheChosenTwo · 12/05/2026 20:56

It does all sound rather a bit much.
I did hug a colleague recently, she’d been working from home for a couple of months after fracturing her ankle. She lives alone, is in her 60’s and we are a really small team of 6 who work closely together a few days a week in the office, she really enjoys work for the social side of seeing other people during the week - we kept in touch via teams when she was solidly wfh and I was so happy to see her pulling up in the car park next to me, we had a lovely big hug!
and when we got into the office everyone hugged her too and our boss had made us a cake so it all ended up being rather a nice welcome back for her.
However on a day to day basis there is no hugging and no one says love you or sends anything mushy, just seems unprofessional.

SonyaLoosemore · 12/05/2026 20:54

Extraordinary. You are well within the NT range objecting to this.

MostlyGhostly · 12/05/2026 20:49

I have had dealings with a woman like this. Behind all the luvuhun-ing there was some pretty sneaky and unpleasant behaviour going on. As pp have said, it’s all a front and manipulating.

You don’t sound at all jealous, just irritated and suspicious, which is the appropriate response as far as I’m concerned.

WomenCantBeBulliedOutOfResistance · 12/05/2026 20:48

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 19:59

Really? I get more annoyed with the time wasting, I don’t enjoy talking to people or like attention. I try to be friendly though. My social battery runs low easily

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I think it sounds more like she is jealous of you. And as you're in a team of two, in a sort of secret competition with you? Hence her getting annoyed at people complimenting you etc.

blubberyboo · 12/05/2026 20:38

Definitely manipulating everyone so that they feel unable to call out her lazy work behaviour. As she is sooooo lovable and KIND to everyone!!

DilettanteRedRagger · 12/05/2026 20:35

theodextrey · 12/05/2026 17:07

It seems so empty to me just throwing it around like that! I think I feel sickened too because she’s so gooey over the top sweet but in private she is quite different, very critical of women’s appearances (if we were discussing a random celebrity) and just generally commenting on women’s looks.

She doesn’t put down mens looks as much, she also is quite into slut shaming women which I find gross (I just don’t like to broach the topic)

I have struggled with insecurity so I don’t like to judge one away or another how someone appears.

This all points to her being an incredibly insecure person, in addition to the behavior that started the thread. I’d be uncomfortable around her, too. Insecure people can be socially dangerous - they’ll undermine you and rip you to shreds if you threaten their “image.” I’d stay as far away from her as possible; it sucks that people can be like this.

Whatthefork1 · 12/05/2026 20:21

Of course your not be unreasonable.
it is so hugely unprofessional and very weird and irritating for someone to behave this way.

I agree with you, I love yous are reserved for special people, who you actually love! It is not something to go around saying to everyone you see. So odd !!

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 20:12

PolkaDotPorridge · 12/05/2026 20:01

I used to work with a woman like that. She was a mental health first aider but she was one of the most toxic people I have ever met. Her own children were no contact with her. She was constantly throwing people under the bus whilst messaging love you lots and similar shite.

Maybe people who act this way are missing out on affection outside of work so they come to work for it?

I don’t understand it, to me the perfect day is talking as little as possible but I realize I’m very introverted/autistic

OP posts:
PolkaDotPorridge · 12/05/2026 20:01

I used to work with a woman like that. She was a mental health first aider but she was one of the most toxic people I have ever met. Her own children were no contact with her. She was constantly throwing people under the bus whilst messaging love you lots and similar shite.

Original poster
theodextrey · 12/05/2026 19:59

Easterchicken · 12/05/2026 19:47

Reading lots of your responses though
..I hate to say you sound jealous

Really? I get more annoyed with the time wasting, I don’t enjoy talking to people or like attention. I try to be friendly though. My social battery runs low easily

OP posts:
SevenYellowHammers · 12/05/2026 19:55

YANBU - hugging makes me cringe

Easterchicken · 12/05/2026 19:47

Reading lots of your responses though
..I hate to say you sound jealous