AIBU to find constant hugging and saying ‘I love you’ unprofessional? (At work)

I would keep to the good morning greetings in email. I couldn’t be doing with all that performative lovey doveyness. Keep your boundaries firm. I’d feel good about the fact she doesn’t do it to me, it means I’m giving off a ‘you don’t fool me’ vibe.

I avoid people who are ‘luv you hun’ types (and I’m NT).

I started a new job a few weeks ago. When one of the sales reps visited the office, he told me to stand up and then gave me a massive hug. I felt very unhappy afterwards. He isn’t a creep but it overstepped my boundaries. I was sexually assaulted repeatedly as a teenager, so I have been working on my self esteem and trying to stand up for myself. It took me back to square one when he did that. I felt silly and powerless. I was thinking afterwards how could I have dealt with it differently. I’m worried it will become a regular thing when he comes into the office.

Bizzare! It’s really inappropriate. I’ve got close to colleagues in the past but hugs are reserved for maybe when someone is back from holiday, is leaving or a birthday. And that’s only with good friends. Have a laugh, be friendly but I hate all the over emoting rubbish. It’s usually faked anyway!

It's not you being on the spectrum. I'm not on the spectrum afaik but this behaviour would drive me mad! I have never worked with anyone who did this, it's not common behaviour I don't think

Exactly - why does someone being a “hugger” give them licence to touch people who don’t want it? And at work, FFS.

@TempestTost I’m with you in the curmudgeon camp - that email sign off would make me vomit.

Shes fun and happy, she means no harm!

Unwanted physical contact, especially in a professional setting? Not fun.

Highly unprofessional, childish and irritating. I would hate this at work.

Flipping eck! I sympathise. I love a nice hug but only with v close friends/family.....I'd feel so awkward having this foisted upon me 🫨😱

I would hate this but I would put up with it because it takes all kinds. I guess.

I have a lady I deal with over email at work who is like this, she is so over the top in her enthusiasm and how wonderful everything in.

I think half of her sentences end with exclamation points, and she has a fancy signature line that says something like "Be Open, Be Enthusiastic, Be Kind." Which makes me want to be sick.

But I figure I am basically a curmudgeon, so maybe we need people like that to balance out the world-vibes.

It’s weird, boring and immature. Oh and performative. She doesn’t “love them”. It’s her need for attention and adoration. I always view people like that with a lens of suspicion.

yes its unprofessional

we have become a hugging team, one member of the team started it, this was ok. but now a number have joined in and have to hug every time they come/go and others come/go

ifs all too much and so awkward I have had to say I am not into hugging all the time this could be up to 8 hugs a day 😑

Oh gawd ....I can't bear fakery!! (Not sure that's even a word but you know what I mean.....!)

Of course it's unprofessional!
It also devalues real expressions of affection between people who are genuinely close. If a mere acquaintance is saying "I love you" all the time, then that phrase becomes totally meaningless.

I don't think I'm on the spectrum but I would also hate this. Its just not professional. You can be friendly with work colleagues without touching them or saying inappropriate things to them. e.g. I start email with 'Dear xxxx' if I don't know them or they're very senior, but otherwise I'd probably say 'Hi xxxx'. I think its okay to get to know people a bit if they're forthcoming, e.g., how their weekend was, where they went on holiday, etc. But definitely no routine hugging or declarations of love. She needs to be spoken to formally or she's going to leave a lifetime of upset in her trail and probably be quite lonely as a result.

You don’t need to justify yourself by the fact you are on the spectrum because I’m sure most people would find this odd too.
I personally find this a generational thing. Almost every time there’s a reality show with people in their 20s within 24 hours they are saying “love you babe” to everyone. Whereas like you, I would never say I love you to anyone who I did not know well and actually love deeply.
Im a hugger but that is for people I know.
I don’t have the answers but just know it’s not you!

How would people feel if it was a man doing it? It's creepy and weird and you need to set clear boundaries. I'm naturally tactile but only with people I'm close to. I'm sorry but her behavior would give me hives!

Excellent! 😂😂😂😂

Awful. Unprofessional conduct in my opinion and if she was working in my team I would not tolerate this for a second.
Staff should not be touching co-workers without their explicit consent. There is no need for performative hugging; some people have watched too much reality television or social media.

Yikes. No way could I tolerate that.

haha! I know what you mean! I hate loud people in the office too. Despite the fact that I am an extrovert and I am usually considered very loud amongst my friends, when I work I love silence and I always have my headphones on!

To me, I only say I love you to people I am close to so I don’t understand it (I am on the spectrum)

That's nothing to do with being on the spectrum, that's completely normal for pretty much everyone.