Husband threatening divorce over a holiday.

You missed the important part of that quote…

….with people who aren’t actually going to embrace the other person’s culture…..

OP said it’s a random (to her) country.

What in the actual ......sorry what .do you mean you don't believe in mixed cultural / mixed ethnicity relationships ....
Holy moly .

You know what would make it cheaper? Going without him!

Agreed.

No OP has said nothing about anyone reconnecting with any heritage.

My daughter, who is of mixed African heritage, has never been to Africa and is devastated that she is not being allowed to go.

and…..

I want to visit a very safe African country that I have no heritage too whatsoever

I think it was posters assuming she wanted to go to wherever her family is from and that theory just ran and ran. But OP did not say it.

NC for this

ypu are black British- so not much real experience of Africa. You have visited SA.

dh sounds dramatic.
the way you have worded this sounds dramatic.

surprise surprise: I agree with your DH.

i am black. DH English. Have travelled to safe African countries and other. Not way would I agree to your trip.

you seem to use distance as his reasons for not wanting to come. Why not eu country as he suggest for this year, and revisit Africa idea following year.

We are told she is Black British. There is much vague information about the daughter reconnecting with her heritage but nothing concrete has been stated. Much of the comments are just conjecture, guesses or suggestions. And, as some including me, have said without his side of the story we won't know exactly what has caused this problem.

Agreed. My husband is from South America. I make sure we can visit as a family once every two years at least. It's very expensive but we save together. I also speak the language and use it with our child to reinforce it.

If you're husband won't embrace your culture and encourage it with your child you're better off divorced

The divorce threat would not be the holiday, the holiday is merely be the frame upon which the breakdown is presented. OP is being very stubborn and we are not hearing his side of the story. We have not even been told her version of her DH objections - just that he has objected and she wants to go ahead regardless, using their teenager as emotional blackmail.

And it works both ways I didn't feel cherished by being offered a holiday in Wales.
And I suspect it's not actually about the holiday, but something more.

Each country in Africa is its own complete place with their own language, customs, celebrations etc, I really don’t understand it when they’re all lumped together.

Kind of like an American having a Scottish heritage, and choosing to holiday in North Macedonia to celebrate that! I mean, I’m sure North Macedonia is lovely but it ain’t Scotland.

But reading all this has made me think a holiday there would be nice. I might look into it with my imaginary holiday budget which is massive and read about some places.

Sure - but she’s said it’s a safe country so no reason to assume it’s not

When most people get married they promise to stay with each other for richer for poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, to live and to cherish till death do us part. If you take your marriage vows seriously, I don’t think that means it’s fine to threaten to divorce someone over a disagreement about a holiday!

Yup. And let him

We need to know where she wants to go though

there are plenty of countries in Africa that are perfectly safe. Not sure where OP is planning to go of course but a lot of countries are just as safe, if not safer, than Vietnam

Actually not embracing the other culture is not the likeliest cause of disaster for a mixed marriage, embracing it is and then discovering that quite a lot of the baggage your spouse is carrying you totally disagree with. Culture clash can cause real problems and are not made less by embracing each others' cultures.
That said, I think it's a bit odd to suggest divorce over a holiday though currently I would be fairly wary of going to several African countries because there are some long-lasting wars across the continent as well as terrorism e.g. in Nigeria, which could easily spread over what are artificial borders.

Threatening divorce is pathetic

if he doesn’t want to go and you are paying (assume separate finances) why does he get a veto?

2/3 of the family want to go. In our house that means we go where the majority wants to go which means I have to endure a beach holiday when I would far rather do something else. Next year I’m hoping a can find something everyone will be happy with most of the time.

what are his main objections - clearly it’s not the flight. Is it the activity? Is he scared for some reason - going somewhere remote or he’s scared of the animals?

you being black British isn’t really relevant if you’re not going to the part of Africa your ancestors are from

The only thing that I found strange is the reference to being of African heritage and wanting to go to Africa. I am friends with and have worked with people from Nigeria and Ghana. None of them talk about going to Africa: it’s always the name of their own country.

I think there are two possible senarios. He's worried about how a white man married to a black woman will be received in Africa, or

He wants to divorce anyway and has found a convienient way to make it all your fault.

I don’t think OP said she wanted to take her daughter to connect with her heritage did she? She just said her daughter was gutted to NOT be going to Africa?

And OP hasn’t specified where this country is, other than to say it’s ‘safe’ and not connected to where her heritage is.

And OP has actually rationed any information for some reason 🤷‍♀️.

I think if she wanted proper informed answers it would have been better to be more forthcoming.

OP said it was a country that she had no connection to.

What vow would that be? No one can refuse to go on holiday to a place they don't fancy?
I refused to holiday in Wales, was that OK?

So his objections are that he doesn’t want to go to the holiday destination and that he doesn’t want you and your DD travelling without him? Your proposed destination is safe both security and health-wise?

Point out to him that it’s not uncommon for parents to travel separately with their children, especially when they’re older. My DH, for example, took ours on separate long haul trips when they were young teenagers. I stayed behind both times by choice and they had a great time. Family members aren’t joined at the hip, especially as children grow up.

Could that be part of the issue- he isn’t acknowledging that your DD is now a teenager and will be fine away from home without him for a couple of weeks?