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AIBU?

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My dad is always lying

106 replies

bltwithoutthet · 12/05/2026 12:43

And they’re not little lies either.

For example, he had a minor medical procedure yesterday, under general anaesthetic. He doesn’t feel up to doing the normal childcare he does this week (not my kids, but I’m in the group chat!)

Hes text to say that he’s been advised total bed rest for 48 hours. Now I know this is rubbish because the leaflet says he needs to be up and about to avoid blood clots.

He also lied after an abnormal FIT test and said he’d been told he likely had cancer - when he’d been told the opposite

I just find it so frustrating that he never tells the truth. He doesn’t feel up to it, so just say that? It aggravates me because it’s hard to tell when he’s being serious.

OP posts:
bltwithoutthet · 12/05/2026 13:02

Whatifitallgoesright · 12/05/2026 12:54

What is his response when you query him about the lies?

He gets so angry and claims we have no idea what we were talking about

OP posts:
notthatoldchestnut · 12/05/2026 13:00

Do you have history of having to be “right” op? People will sometimes feel they have to give an “acceptable reason” that feels ligit rather than their preference so it’s more palatable to the other party.

Just leave it and move on

Whatifitallgoesright · 12/05/2026 12:54

What is his response when you query him about the lies?

BlueberryMill · 12/05/2026 12:52

I can understand the bed rest one as if he says he has to be up and about they might expect childcare. The cancer one not so much

Pinklombada · 12/05/2026 12:47

Do the beneficiaries of the childcare tend to push boundaries? I can see why he would claim he had been advised bed rest if he was concerned that just telling them he didn’t feel up to it wouldn’t be accepted.

The cancer comment is trickier for you all, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. It’s hard for you because it must have caused worry. I wonder if your dad is someone who likes to be a bit of a martyr, or who feels like he doesn’t get the sympathy or cosseting he would like if there isn’t a certain level of seriousness. Or perhaps he’s just someone who thrives on a bit of drama.

I don’t really know how you should approach it except to suggest you try not to engage with or feed into the drama of his claims, just stay neutral and calm and factual. Easier said than done though.

Eyesopenwideawake · 12/05/2026 12:43

What was his childhood like?

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