AIBU for making DD12 give up her treat for eating more than her share of a takeaway?

Wow, ok, because punishment about weight is a surefire winner!

Edemame. A fucking vegetable.

DO NOT use words like greedy around food with teenage girls.

Has she been medically checked. You saying she's greedy but sounds like she has good issues. Id be concerned if my child.

I think based on the context of what has happened, their ages and taking into account being careful of food related punishments I’d probably just withhold the treat this week but not ask for the sister to have it. That feels a bit much maybe. And then leave it.

Do you think she got carried away with watching the film and just kept nibbling without thinking?? My kids do this. All the best intentions and then all forgotten!!

I’m wondering how tightly you control food…

There is so much information readily available online regarding how to address issues like this with a supportive (rather than punitive and shaming) approach.

Both daughters are old enough to sort it out

I'm saying no because I don't think that's the way to solve it. The OP has said that the older sister isn't always that nice to her sister. The side wasn't meant for them all. Just the kids

I agree. There is a strong whiff of 'The OP is always wrong' about a lot of the posts here, and also an amazing amount of people who will diagnose eating disorders at the drop of a hat. The OP's approach seems fine to me; the offending daughter is old enough to understand deferred consequence and to know what she's doing.

Innit. My mum and I share a takeaway now and then and she'll have one dish and I'll have another and we usually divide them up so she has some of mine and vice versa - sometimes she will take less as she doesn't have a huge appetite but I give her stuff to take home with 0

Like if I ate 30 chips and gave her one. That's not sharing - on any level..

However they are kids though. 11 and 12 and these things will happen and it could have been avoided if the OP had just shared the food out

So she's 12, took 90% of a treat meant for everyone, and shouldn't be asked to provide a treat for her sister as punishment? At the cost of a quid or so?

Sorry I disagree with the first few comments, and soz I cba reading the rest. She's not a toddler. She can differentiate between days and food is not being used as a punishment. A consequence of being greedy and denying her sister access to something that was supposed to be shared is that she has to use her pocket money to buy her sister a treat to make up for it. I think that's perfectly reasonable myself.

What a drama over a takeaway, your attitude is a sure fire way to eating disorders.

Were they both eating it with their fingers? So there was a tub of edamine and they were eating it with their fingers - or a spoon? I've seen the chilli ones - well known brand but they don't do it in my local supermarket - just wondering what edamine etiquette is. Like if they were sharing how could the oldest daughter not realise that she had eaten the most and her sister got none?

Oh howay man this is ridiculous. Me and my husband often share a small portion of beef strips when we have a Chinese, we put the pot between us on the sofa and he likes to eat his throughout the meal, I eat mine at the end. If it got to the end of the meal and I realised he'd left me one strip (out of 10ish) I would be very annoyed, even if he apologised. And it wouldn't be on me at all.

This would seem like the most appropriate thing to do particularly as the OP has said several times that the oldest daughter loves food and loves edamine. Or why not just buy some extra just to have in the fridge if they love it so much - Ive only ever seen it in small pots at one local supermarket or at yo sushi but I live in the sticks where you don't get takeaway sushi

Exactly. Mind boggling!

Was there enough food for the both of them? She shouldn’t have just taken it - she should have eaten her portion and asked for more food if still hungry. She is just about to
enter puberty and might need bigger portions now. That’s usually the age when children’s menus no longer work for young ones. I’d explain that if she wants more to eat she needs to say so. She can’t just take her sister’s food. The last thing you want to do is give her a complex about food.

Eating 28 pieces out of 30 is just greedy. It’s not an accident , she knew she was Sharing and ate almost all of it.

I think it's a good point a couple of people have made that she might have been engrossed in the film and not thinking what she was doing. Especially at her young age.

I can't believe you're that tight that you make a couple of tweens with healthy appetites share a little pot of edamame on what is supposed to be takeaway treat night. If you'd have let them have their own side all of this, quite frankly, ridiculous drama would have been avoided. What do they have to share for pudding, half a strawberry?

This is the biggest issue for me.

The OP suggested that this isn't the first time that the older daughter has had more than her share of what was supposed to be shared food

If they both love it why didn't you buy them some each rather than getting them to share?

I suspect that DD1 didn't realise that DD2 hadn't eaten any, in the same way as DD2 hadn't realised that DD1 had eaten lots. Either it's a crime not to pay attention, or it's not.