AIBU for making DD12 give up her treat for eating more than her share of a takeaway?

Next time.divide it up yourself before it goes on the table

Tell me youve missed the point without telling me youve missed the point....

You know you can buy bags of frozen edamame, don't you? Punishing your daughter for eating too much veg, and expecting her to compensate your other daughter with chocolate or something is completely over the top.

If they're ravenous but a healthy weight, it could be that something is wrong and they need thyroid etc checked - or perhaps they just burn the calories and need more food.

I think dividing things yourself in future is the key...or get other DD to do it if they do it fairly.

I don't think YABU. Your older DD should make it up to her DSis. What she did was very mean and shouldn't be tolerated. I like the idea of asking her what she should do to make it up to her sister. It'll hopefully make her more empathetic.

A child who was born with a faster metabolism than most people, who is heading into puberty and growth spurts will need an enormous amount of food. Just buy more food!

A psychopath?!! What an overreaction!

Was it a pot of baked beans from KFC? Those are quite small aren't they?

This thread has made me howl.

Parenting isnt perfect, god forbid we ever switch off even for a second. OP is allowed to assume her 12 and 11 year olds can share a portion of bloody food. Her daughter is 12!!! I have a just turned 13YO and 11YO and they KNOW how to share a portion but whether they do or not is another situation entirely!.

DD12 was selfish, she knew what she was doing and didnt care, so yes she should be punished - is it the end of the world no, but she should be taught a lesson.

Poeple saying you shouldnt eat food infront of a tv 😂and things like that are absolutly unhinged.

This would be the actions of a psychopath. Good grief 🙄🤣

Forget the food aspect, she is supposed to share and even made a point in saying she can share before then not sharing it. Two issues, she didn't share and the second is she made a deliberate choice to not share.

I think at the age of 12 she is more than old enough to understand she has to rectify the issue later on, she's not a toddler when things have to be dealt with straight away.

I agree. I've always been quite greedy and am fat since my 40s, but I've never eaten other people's share. It sounds like she might have issues

I would be seeing this an issue with your DDs eating, rather than 'naughty' behaviour to punish.
You know she overeats and lacks control over food, so the error that lead to this was yours in not dishing out the portions yourself.
Id make sure to do this consistently in future, and use other strategies such as insisting she eats healthy snacks before starting on treat foods. Make sure she's having enough to eat overall so she isn't hungry, and encourage lots of non food related fun things to distract her, and to try to reduce the association between food and a primary source of pleasure.

If you're still hungry after dinner when you're a slim growing child with a big appetite then you haven't been given enough dinner!

I’m following the group saying the child may just be hungry . The calories teens eat and need is huge . Much more than adults . There was a chart on the NHS website which I can’t currently find - but will share if I find it

It's BEANS
Part of a meal. The OP is at fault for not getting them enough BEANS to fill them both up!

OP said she is slim. The child is clearly hungry. Edamame beans are healthy low fat and high protein and a pretty perfect snack for a hungry child. OP was the one who restricted the quantity by buying them a portion to share. Of course being greedy isn't nice but this isn't a case of a child sneaking too much cake it's a child eating a perfectly healthy normal food item as part of her meal when her parent basically didn't provide enough for them both.

We had some issues like this - three dc, all teens, dd in the middle between two lanky, ravenous boys. It was causing her a lot of anxiety. I had to start plating up more (never really did this previously), which helped a lot. We also implemented a rule that, when sharing, the person who divides the item/s up gets the last choice of serving, which obviously motivates them to do it as fairly as possible. They also have to ask before taking anything from the cupboards, apart from a couple of free for all items that we always have lots of.

Yes it definitely is

Why on earth not, if a (presumably no SN) child of that age has quite deliberately taken more than her share? She needs to learn not to be greedy!

Do you always reward DD2 at DD1's expense when she turns on the waterworks and cries "she's being mean to me" for things that she could reasonably have dealt with at the time (e.g. in this instance by asking her DSis to slow down, by eating some beans herself, or by putting her share of the beans on her plate, or by letting you know she wasn't getting her fair share)?

I see DD2's waterworks as manipulative and more concerning than DD1 absentmindedly munching through more beans whilst watching film. (I'd be buying them a portion each in future too)

I’d just not give her the money for the treat this week, rather than have her buy it and bring it home.