AIBU to think hospital discharge is unsafe for my elderly parents?

I came on to say this.
You may be able to get more care than you think if there is less than around £23,000 in savings .
Are your parents in receipt of attendance allowance ? if not well worth claiming as its not dependant on their income or savings , fill the form in according to how they are on their worse days ,then at the end of the form -(which is very long winded and which i believe is a one size fits all and shouldn't be) in the area where it asks if you have anything to add fill it with how your parents are living, how severe their conditions are affecting all aspects of their life and the demands on your own life.
You will have to 'lay it on thick' with this form , it has been a blessing for my family for my parent with alzheimers , if one of them has a diagnosis of dementia then you can apply for council tax help , 100% rebate .
Don't face this harrowing situation on your own speak to social services emergency service asap.
What have we come to when people are sent home in this state .

Before she is sent home ask for the physios and for them to check - she can walk up and down a flight of stairs at the hospital.
From your description it sounds like she won’t be able to. So therefore isn’t safe to go home.
They could organise an ambulance to bring her home.
There will be a safeguarding team. Maybe contact them too.

Make it clear that even if she has temporary downstairs living she will still try going upstairs. That way if the OT assesses her as unsafe for stairs it is another point against her going straight home. It sounds like she needs to be on what is called pathway 2 where she goes into care while increasing her strength.

Best of luck.

If you organise a Social care needs assessment, they will assess what care she (and your Dad) need. They will also do a financial assessment, and will pay towards care if your parents genuinely can't afford to pay.

I've been through this and my Hail Mary was the ambulance driver. I kept saying it was an unsafe discharge. She was in a hospital bed doubly incontinent required 2 people and a hoist to sit up. My dad is in a wheelchair with one leg and severe arthritis but they just wouldn't listen and finally I asked how they planned on getting her into the bungalow. I said there was restricted access (there really isn't but I was desperate) and the hospital agreed to send the driver round first to check. When he rang me to arrange a time to meet I begged him to help. He went to the house spoke to my dad and told the ward it was an unsafe discharge.

This is so much like what happened with my df in January, he was taken in with an exacerbation of his heart failure, they kept in for six days then discharged him against our advice(we're all health care professionals) as we felt he was not well enough. A week to the today we had to call an ambulance as my stepsister found him semi-conscious and with very low O2 at home.
This time they kept him in for almost six weeks, thoroughly assessed his medical condition and organised ot and social worker involvement, thankfully with adjustments in his medication and a carer going in to help with cleaning and shopping he's better than he's been in 6 months or more

As well as other useful places mentioned here you will find lots of support and suggestions on the alzheimers society forums Dementia Support Forum. There's also a helpline you can ring. Your mum doesn't need a formal diagnosis for this.

Unfortunately what is happening with your family is all too common.

This is terrible.
It's only a small part of this awful problem, but could you get a downstairs loo installed in her home and get your dad to keep showing her where it is?

This 100%

https://www.gov.uk/attendance-allowance

Do both your parents claim attendance allowance individually ?

It is not means tested

Money can be spent on anything to make their lives easier eg carers, cleaner, transport, health aids

she has capacity or your father has capacity and is saying he can cope and is wanting to go home the hospital isn’t in a position to keep her in. It sounds like they need to move into a nursing home, acute hospitals are not for care purposes, if she’s fit for discharge you can find an emergency placement. I know it’s really hard but they will not keep her in hospital longer than necessary. Do you your parents have carers? That’s usually the first step

Report all your concerns to PALs re: unsafe discharge. How awful. Can they afford care?

My mother has been in hospital twice recently. Both times there has been a full discharge process where physio/OT, SALT and the medical teams have to sign off as fit and agree a care package. In many places in England, there is a 6-week reablement service available for free. I did not agree that my Mum was fit for discharge the first time and practically had a row with the physio who insisted she was fine but they did go through the process. I can’t believe the same process isn’t in place everywhere.

Useful info from Age Concern

www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/arranging-care/homecare/support-after-hospital-discharge/

I had this with my mum on several occasions. I agree with other posters. They will try to force you into taking responsibility for her needs and for a lot of people with work and their own families this is not realistic or sustainable.
Make a big deal of writing the staff members names down that are trying to push this through and when they ask why, say " so that I have a list of accountable people when I put in a complaint to CQC of you not assessing my mother for discharge properly " Say that you want an OT assessment for managing basics like stairs and everyday personal care and an assessment visit to the house to check it's suitability. You also need to get social services involved. If you are lucky, you will get an allocated social worker who will be on your side and knows the right language and trigger phrases to use to get the help you might need.
If it's done properly, your mum needn't become a " bed blocker". In my mum's case, on one occasion discharge resulted in a hospital bed downstairs in her house and daily carers visits for 6 weeks. On another occasion she had 2 weeks in a care home whilst other adaptations were made to her house.
The social worker was brilliant, realising that my dad was not capable of helping with care and that he had needs too although he had not previously been on SS radar and had masked his issues well. The social worker got some extra adaptations done to the home as a result of this and some extra medical help for my dad too. Keep strong, don't let yourself be bullied!

She can be medically fit for discharge which it sounds like she is but not socially fit for discharge if that makes sense. All the above advice from people is spot on. I had the same with my dad he was medically cleared for discharge and I panicked but spoke to the OT and physio team and they said no way. You have to make sure the two sides of the hospital are talking to each other which they often are not! PALs is a great resource and also your parents GP

There should be a hospital based social worker I think. Insist they come , and OT. If they try and discharge without that ask for it to be documented that you have told them you feel the discharge is unsafe. Note staff names down.

When my parents were in a similar situation, Mum wasn't sent home till a care package was in place - she had six weeks of four visits a day from carers while it was established how much help they needed. It sounds like you need something like this - stick to your guns and insist you need social services input.

The problem is that if she is ready to be discharged from a health perspective, staying in hospital makes her a bed blocker and prevents someone else with a potential urgent need to be admitted. It's also not fair on the person who has been waiting 24h plus on a stretcher in A&E for a bed to continue to wait.

You need to get in touch with SS immediately and arrange a care package with them. Is there absolutely no way you can get there earlier to help your mum settle?

She needs an OT assessment. Insist that happens before she is sent home. Make sure you speak to the OT to provide accurate information about her/their home circumstances if you think she won't or can't reliably provide this. It's possible that she may be able to go home if the right support is put in place. An OT assessment will help decide what that might be. The OT can also help get other agencies involved eg social worker