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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to feel scared ahead of a Clare's Law disclosure call?

436 replies

Justpickitup · 11/05/2026 16:14

So I did a Clare’s law request on a guy I have been seeing for a few months. I’ve never felt the need to do this before but I just had a gut feeling. He is quite protective and needy. Anyway I did it and now I have to have a video call as they are ready to disclose? I’m really really scared.

OP posts:
Lulu89x · 11/05/2026 16:36

Well done for making the application. Goodluck. Whatever the outcome is, please consider it carefully. There was a reason why you have requested this and you should trust your gut.
The last guy I dated appeared amazing but a little controlling and possessive. Turns out he stripped and beat his ex wife. She fled back to her home country and he convinced her to drop the case against him. They told me what he was accused of and the result was no further action. I was stupid and believed his story that he caught her cheating. My karma was he ended up hitting me too.

Original poster
Justpickitup · 11/05/2026 16:29

Im Not going to sleep tonight am I?

OP posts:
Original poster
Justpickitup · 11/05/2026 16:28

You recently applied for a disclosure under Claire’s Law. We have now compiled this and we are ready to disclose the information to you. Can you please contact us on the number below, or reply to this email (please use “reply to all”) with details of your availability? We will need to see some photo ID prior to giving you the information.

OP posts:
MrsBennetsPoorNervesAreBack · 11/05/2026 16:28

It might be that they have something to disclose, OP. Or they might have nothing but still want to check if you are ok and whether there was anything in particular which prompted the Clare's law request.

Either way, it will be good to know what the police know - whether that's something or whether it's nothing.

Even if the police have nothing to share, please be careful and listen to your gut - something made you doubt whether you could trust this guy, and the lack of any disclosures from the police doesn't necessarily mean that there is nothing to worry about.

Stay safe!

WeRideAtEightForEightThirty · 11/05/2026 16:26

Are you still seeing him? I’d perhaps not to do so again now, based on the fact they’re likely to disclose something, and even if they don’t that you have found him already worrying in some ways.

Coka · 11/05/2026 16:26

Its great you have done it. Regardless of the outcome i think you should end the relationship as something is giving you warning signs.

wheretoyougonow · 11/05/2026 16:25

Well done on trusting your gut. Try not be scared of the call. The people on the other end are experts and will guide you through. They are there to help.

Original poster
Justpickitup · 11/05/2026 16:24

I mean they might just want to tell me they haven’t found anything to disclose as apparently they let you know either way. They have asked for my ID

OP posts:
purplecorkheart · 11/05/2026 16:22

I can entirely understand why you are nervous but knowledge is power.

zurigo · 11/05/2026 16:17

Well, it's understandable as you don't know what you're going to find out and it could be something bad about someone you've allowed into your life. That is pretty scary! But thank goodness for Clare's Law eh? Much better to have that knowledge than not.

Darkladyofthesonnets · 11/05/2026 16:16

I imagine they are going to disclose something troubling so I can understand why you are nervous.