AIBU to feel scared ahead of a Clare's Law disclosure call?

That’s normal procedure.

Protective and needy are palatable ways of saying controlling and manipulative. Well done for recognising it. They won't arrange a video call with you to tell you there's nothing to share. Please get your head around the fact that you need to end it with him, regardless of what they disclose to you.
ETA I googled it - some police forces will arrange an appointment to share no info which surprised me, my local force tells you by email if there is nothing to tell.

@Justpickitup here for the handhold love.

you know what’s coming somehow, and you know you need to end it.

even if there isn’t much info, there clearly is some - enough for them to arrange this meeting, and your instincts are telling you something is very wrong. Either way, this guy has to go.

the police can help you with this too if you need it.

stay safe and come back (please) and let us know how it goes.

you are doing the right thing.

I think the point PPs are making is that even if there is nothing to disclose, you could end up being the first to have something to report. If something feels off to the extent you are making this request, then maybe you should trust that feeling no matter what the police say.

He obviously has, he’s given you a gut feeling!

If you feel somethings wrong then you've done the best thing, he may just be a bit desperate to hold on to you but better safe than sorry

what did you tell the police the behaviours that were causing you concern?

Sure, but for OP it wasn't a standard safeguard that she'd do on anyone. She felt driven to it because he makes her feel uneasy. So even if it comes back clear, this isn't the relationship for her.

It seems like some people on this thread don’t really understand the purpose of Clare’s Law! As a lone parent, if I was dating again, I would do a Clare’s Law application on any man I was dating before we reached the stage of introducing him to my DC regardless of how lovely he was, regardless of my feelings towards him. It’s not always a case of “I suspect my boyfriend is a fist-wielding maniac, but I’m not sure” for many women it’s quite often a case of making as sure as physically possible before you introduce your kids after a year together or however long or even if you’ve no kids but you want to make sure before you move in with him. Of course, no piece of paper or lack of a violent criminal record can ever guarantee your safety but it helps give a little extra peace of mind…

The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence New edition by de Becker, Gavin

Trust your gut

Well done for taking the action. Knowledge is power. It's understandable that you feel some anxiety waiting to hear back.
Once you have the information, you can decide what to do with that. If there is a disclosure you've said you'll take steps to protect your DC and yourself, which is great.
If there is nothing to disclose, please do continue to be alert to whatever triggered your gut to make the request.

I am pleased that you have done this.
I have worked with at least four families over the years where the children have had to live with grandparents or in one case go into foster care because their mums wouldn't give up child abuser boyfriends.

One said to me' what does ( name of social worker) think is going to happen, he walks with a stick now, he can hardly run after them.' Thick as mince!

I hope you sleep well tonight OP.

Lets be thankful to Michael Brown who initiated this scheme.

I think if you have a gut instinct about him that has led you to ask for this information, you would perhaps be mistaken to continue the relationship whatever the result.

I think if you've felt the need to apply for a Clare's Law disclosure on someone then you should end the relationship whatever information you are given because it means your gut is telling you something is off. Police can only disclose any abuse or violence they have on record, if someone has done things like this and it hasn't been reported to the police then the disclosure will come back clean.

Trust your gut.

DD’s abusive ex was reported to the police by worried neighbours, which may well have saved her life. I’m very thankful that they did, and that anyone who gets embroiled with him in future may be given the info on what he’s really like. You’ve been very sensible to check.

It’s a good thing they’re going to disclose info to you- you are better off having that knowledge so you can make an informed decision about your relationship, rather than never knowing! As someone else said, knowledge is power!

You had a gut feeling for a reason, even if it comes back that there is nothing to disclose all that means as he hasn’t been reported for anything. Listen to your gut whatever the outcome.

You do seem defensive so a bit sure what you wanted from this thread.

Ive done a clares law. There was nothing to disclose, they just called me back about a week later. Never called to schedule a call or video call. It might not be something on clares law but something on Sarah's law, which they wont tell you about but will suggest putting in an application "just to check fully and be in the safe side " if you see what I mean

If you feel unsafe with him then I'd end it even if the request comes back clear. Might be sad for him but you don't owe anyone a relationship and if he makes you feel this uneasy, that's no foundation.

Well done OP, for taking action to protect yourself and your children.

I agree that your safety and that of your dc is important, that’s why it’s not worth carrying on dating a man who has made you feel like this.

I assume you haven’t even introduced him to your dc yet as you’ve only been dating for a few months.

I have done them - for my last boyfriend and my current DP. This is because I was in an abusive relationship earlier in my life - I would always do one. With DP they still had to come and speak with me but said it was a ‘non-disclosure’ as in, nothing to report. I think we are so lucky to have Claire’s Law.

But agree with others about the red flags in your relationship irrespective!

I hope you do find the courage to end it if things are bad. A woman I know has just had her 'results'.. She believed his bs that he isn't that man anymore..
A man who assaulted his ex and put her in hospital..
What a shocker he proposed...
Hook
Line
Sinker.