NC with sister DM keeps getting upset

Is she married? Maybe she’s trying to hide the parcels from her husband so when your mum rocks up with them it looks like she’s just brought them all as gifts.

if they are adressed to you they are yours. Open them then use or sell them.

The sister should have treated the OP better, then she wouldn't have to deal with this frankly tangential issue. As it is they are no contact so it's now the sister's problem entirely.

Why does she need to order so much stuff? Isn’t she able to buy these things in her country?

You could take a photo of the heap of packages and forward to DM.. "These are every one of the packages that have arrived. "

I do this with DC's clothes sometimes. they always quibble about things that have been left and another DC might/might not have.

Can't argue with a photo unless they want to say its been altered by AI of course.

Takes seconds and could stop accusations in their tracks, but you may feel its taking responsibility for the packages.

OP, as far as the packages go, I actually have some sympathy with your DSis because of the absurd rules that are currently in place. An example - I sent a friend in France a fish knife, that cost £29, and they were charged 20 euros’ duty on it!! And of course postage to Europe is quite a bit more than postage to the UK. I can understand that it’s irritating from your POV to have to receive the packages, but try to think of it as doing a favour to your DM rather than for your sister. That way, you won’t upset your mother, and you can continue NC with your sister.

If you love those people you have done very well in life as your father, mother, and sister have been vile to you. You have worked hard, it seems, to thrive and live and love. Your mother didn’t—she didn’t treasure and protect you the way she should. Maybe she had a hard life, as you say, but she could have fought for kindness and love for you even so. She has the luxury to do so now, presumably, but is disinclined to listen to you or to be as generous as she is to your sister.

Do what you can to preserve your precious time eith your own family. Let your mother snd sister do their group grope without you. Just refuse the packages and trll uour mother you won’t engage in tax fraud gor your sister.

Low contact would be far better than no contact. You said you deeply loved your uncle but earlier you said you don’t really get attached to people because of autism.

I totally agree, they sound like 2 peas in a pod.

id start getting my own parcels delivered in my dh or child’s name so that you know all parcels delivered in your name is from your sister and you can return to sender and not accept. She’s got a cheek!

OP has already said that the parcels arrive addressed to the OP. It's a complete overstep.

I would tell your mum that you'll be refusing all parcels from your sister from now on and just do that. No exceptions. It's just an attempt by your S to insert herself into the situation. Your mum sounds like a handful too.

Yeah me too! Couldn’t care less if I never saw her again

If it helps at all I am in a similar situation, I’m disabled and forced to tolerate my sibling who I despise for the sake of my aging DM. It’s rough, but I crack on with it. I don’t want my DM to die but I look forward to telling sibling to get to fuck, permanently

I wok suggest going NC with BOTH your sister and mother as they are both horrible people and your life will be much nicer and less stressful without them in it!!

"started shouting at me in the middle of a shopping centre and I obviously just collapsed into tears, and my DM at some point said that there was an ambulance and maybe I could be sectioned too"

Well now I can see where your Sister gets it from
So sorry OP.. They both sound really awful. Neither of them sound like people you could reason with.
Threatening to have you sectioned because they've bullied you into tears is normal behaviour and I do think you need to protect yourself from them.
BTW...Not a legal expert but I believe she has no authority to have you sectioned if you live with your spouse. And that is rather the point. She has no authority over you any more and if someone shouted at me like that in public place... I'd get an uber home and lock the door. Give yourself permission to turn on your heel and walk away.

It would also make me much less worried about DM being upset because you and Sis are NC.

And I also think that having someone to talk to about this in real life would really help you work out how best to deal with it.

I would hand the packages to your mum and say this is the very last time. I will be refusing to accept any further parcels and telling them to take back to sender. They are not my responsibility. If they keep coming they will be binned.

What does your DH think.

I think people are getting hung up re the packages because OP said “sent” rather than “ordered”. It sounds like she orders packages on line addressed to OP, for the Mum to collect.

YANBU though OP. I would refuse to accept any packages.

Ok, totally bizarre to me. Yes, your sister is a CF for expecting you to facilitate this if she knows you’re NC. That’s putting you right in the middle and inconveniencing you; I accept packages for people I like, not people I’m NC with. Fuck that noise.