Pretty Woman Moment

I appreciate that you’re giving me helpful answers so I don’t want to sound like I’m determined to be right - but please take my word for it that in this case it really was utterly hopeless! I’ve forgotten the details by now but she really didn’t have a clue.

I’d been going to this branch of a optician chain for years and they were under new ownership. It was hopeless. Thankfully there was a different chain just a few doors down so off I went.

You are quite right that a lot of the time you can get people back on track with a few good questions or by being clearer about what you want. Unfortunately this one was a non-starter!

Big Mistake … Huge 😀

I had similar in a Land Rover showroom.

I had literally made no effort that morning and was in jeans and a hoodie and my hair was a mess, I hardly ever wear make up anyway and we are mid to late 40s. Possibly also carrying more weight than I would like too at the moment. So in fairness I probably did look like I could have been dragged out of a bush backward!

We were genuinely looking at options for DH new car, stepson was in the back so we could check legroom for him of a model DH liked and then he pointed to something on the dash…. Sales person, as I am looking in the window of the car to see what DSS was saying, comes up and says ‘I’m sorry can I ask you step back, the paintwork scratches easily’. The window was open I hadn’t got that close to the car as could see what DSS was saying without having to.

I work with clients from all types of backgrounds and know only too well that you should NEVER judge a book by its cover.

Think we are buying another Audi! 😂

It should not have to be a task.....I should not have to persuade.

She clearly can’t afford a 3.5k door😂
security doors can go wel up to £20k
she’s in the wrong job

Ok, and that's one option. Another option is to stay on task and persuade her to give you the information about the glasses, despite her initial misjudgement.

I disagree. If I am spending money I want to enjoy spending it. I don't expect to be fawned over but I want to be treated pleasantly and not have to struggle to get the person selling to me to engage in the process. I don't want and shouldn't have to put up with, being judged, looked down on or ignored.

I’m not going to fight someone to throw my money at them 🤷‍♀️

I was buying prescription glasses and the sales assistant showed me a range of options for lenses. I asked her what the difference was between two of the options. All she said was “I would choose that one,” pointing at one.

It’s not the only optician in town. I can’t force them to engage with me. Of course I’m just going to go elsewhere.

Great thread, thanks. I took a couple of pairs of size large knickers to the counter in a lingerie store. I was a size 12/14 (UK) at the time, so normally took a size medium, but these looked rather smaller than usual. The saleswoman looked me up and down with a sneer on her face and said, "You know, we do stock these in size EXTRA large!" I was so taken aback I just meekly paid for the purchase, instead of throwing them at her and asking, Did you mean to be so rude? 😁

I think the important thing here is to focus on what you want, not how the salesperson thinks or behaves. You want to buy the item and they are simply one of the cogs in that wheel.

If the salesperson isn't interested in engaging initially, that's not their problem - it's yiur problem and you need to solve it.

Double down and state clearly and politely that you would like their help as you wish to discuss purchasing their door/car/house.

When you have bought the item thank them, wish them a nice day, and never give them a second thought.

I've said this in another thread. My user name explains it. Dh got me a ring for my birthday and TWO of my wealthy friends asked that question.

We are considerably less well off than these people but yes, the Amethyst is real. Tiny, but real.
One of these friends, I admired her trainers and she said "they would suit you, but they were really expensive"

I've googled and they are £120. Of course I wouldn't drop that on a pair of trainers (couldn't justify it or afford it really) but it was an unnecessary comment in my opinion. I suppose she just desn't think before she speaks.

I had exactly this! I looked younger than my age which clearly didn't help.
I asked all the questions but the salesman would only speak to my DH, who doesn't even have a driving license!

Similar. My now dh was my new boyfriend then. I was 24, looked 18 and had just had a modest windfall. Enough to buy a brand new small car, and new boyfriend just came along for the ride. It was pure comedy for both of us.

Salesman talking earnestly to dh, brand new car, he assumed the man must be in charge of finances. Eventually, dh had to say "I'm not your customer here, the lady is. She's looking to buy the car, not me" He then ambled off. And so did I.

I’ve had a bit of this today. I went into the building society to change my cash ISA into a stocks and shares ISA. The financial advisor said it was such a small amount that it was ‘complicated’ and wasn’t worth their while as it was ‘only £7k’. I’m furious

Probably also around 25 years ago I spent a few hundred quid on makeup at Harrods, I think it was Estee Lauder. I remember the saleswomen huffing and sighing when I paid in gift vouchers (a Christmas present). I’m still not sure what the issue was and why on earth I didn’t say something!

I had exactly this! I looked younger than my age which clearly didn't help.
I asked all the questions but the salesman would only speak to my DH, who doesn't even have a driving license!

Salesman tried to backtrack when my DH said he couldn't drive and I would be the one paying for the car.
I left, and clearly said why. It would have been an easy sale as I had the funds at the time.

Slightly different, but I was boarding a flight home from Istanbul with a friend once. Both of us late 20s at the time, in leggings/sweatshirts/no make up/backpacks on - definitely dressing for comfort for the flight home.
My friend had BA silver membership (acquired due to multiple work trips) so we were able to board in the priority queue. An older man (probably in his 50s) tapped us on the shoulder and tried to tell us to leave the queue as it was for priority passengers. Clearly our age and outfits weren’t acceptable to him! Definitely a satisfying moment being able to respond “yes we know” and turn back round to our spot ahead of him.

I read the whole of the rest of this post hoping I'd find someone asking who your father is!!

25 years ago I tried to get served at the Givenchy stand in Harrods, couldn't get the woman who was doing nothing to interact with me. Which was silly of her as I was a single woman with no responsibilities earning £90k.

Nowadays these women are falling over themselves to serve me whenever I walk past their concession stands but my peri-menopausal sensitive skin means I've stopped wearing make-up 😂

So much of this is dependent on the branch of stores and the individual staff - I’m naturally scruffy and now middle aged and always get lovely friendly service at my local branch of White Company, but not at Seasalt, despite being in the core demographic for both and usually wearing at least one Seasalt item because my coat is from there.

One noticeable change as I’ve aged is Apple. I’ve spent a fortune with them over the years - desktop computers, iPods, phones, iPads, MacBooks, watches - pulled apart and upgraded them in the days when they were built for users to do that. I like my tech. But nowadays I can walk into any Apple Store in the country and spend ages rummaging around something shiny and looking at the back for what ports it has etc and not one Apple employee will approach me any more unless I corner one. I presume middle aged women are not deemed their core demographic. Although funnily enough if I hang around the accessories at the back of the store rather than the expensive stuff at the front I’ll get attention immediately. I can only assume they think I’m a mum buying a case for their kids phone rather than a new toy for me.

Well you say that, but we recently had to replace our tired 90s white PVC front door after the entire locking mechanism gave up.

The brightly coloured replacement was 2.5k inc installation from a really nice local company and it really improves the whole look of the house - the Tesco delivery guy complimented it a few weeks ago!

This happened to me in a car showroom recently.

Their loss, went to another the next day & ordered what I had gone to buy the previous day.

good customer service is hard to come by nowadays

It's not just clothing (sales)people make snap judgements on, though. You might turn up in scruffs splattered with mud, but open your mouth and talk like the Queen which could then give them the impression (rightly or wrongly) that you're 'country posh' and do have money to spend. Or could project an air of self-confidence. Perhaps you turned up at the house developers or the spa in your "six figure car" and/or wearing your expensive watch/jewellery and they clocked those even if the rest of your clothes were scruffy.

Or perhaps they were treating you in the same way as other posters have described, but you're oblivious and didn't pick up on it!

Or, most straightforward explanation of all = just because you haven't experienced something, doesn't mean it's never happened!

My DD gets pretty woman type moments nearly every shop she goes in.
She absolutely hates getting dressed up, doesn't wear make up , she has a definite 'gypsy' look ,long black curly hair, olive skin. Lovely looking, but lm clearly biased. She is nearly always followed round by security/shop floor staff as a potential shoplifter.
She is successful in her job, great salary, mortgage free since late 30s (in her early 40s now) but she also gets 'the look' when enquiring about anything expensive.

Bullshit

This is true, the employee was very much up for it too! It was a great advantage, he got an expensive suit.