I hate being a widow

You are showing immeasurable strength

You were so unlucky to lose him

But so lucky you had the time together that you did

It's good talking about this with others who actually know what it's like. I do feel slightly less lost and alone, so thank you all. ❤💔

So dreadfully sorry for OP and all the other posters who have suffered. And so many posters are so kind and sympathetic and not offering empty platitudes which is the last thing the bereaved need. 🌺🌺🌺

I’m so sorry. 💔. I’ve had a whole year now and it was horrible. Anniversaries are the pits. This second year is more bearable. You get used to it.

Solidarity and love to all fellow members of the shitty club x 4 years in, surviving out of spite, have achieved "resignation" but nowhere near "acceptance". Can't stand the paradox of being both outwardly stoic for the benefit of others, and inwardly bereft and broken. And there are no words. But here we all are, eh? Much love to all xxxx

It's only been 3 months for me and it's seeming that the first year has to be the hardest for so many reasons. Our son turned 15 today. First birthday without our whole family there. Yet every birthday will be like this from now on. It's not right, it's not fair. Why is it always the best ones that get cut short on life? I would do anything for just one more day with him. How can this possibly
ever get better?

It’s so difficult isn’t it? I lost my wife nearly six years ago now and it was horrible. We had a three year old daughter too. Fortunately I’m lucky to have amazing family and friends who helped and things are much better now.

I found having things to look forward to helped hugely. Little day trips or evenings out. Sounds like you have a lot on with so many pets!

I just googled "widows" in search of others who could maybe understand this void that is now my life. I have such a pain in my soul. I lost my husband of 12 years just three months ago - the day before Valentine's Day this year. Friday the 13th of all days. I can't help this feeling that I wish I could fast forward to the end of my own life to a time and place where we can be together again. Every day that passes the farther away he feels, which is so unbearable. At the same time I just can't process that this is reality. That he's really gone forever. I just feel like he's going to walk through the door any day. My brain just won't accept it. Like he can't be really gone. To those of you who still have your partner... Enjoy the time you have, treat each other well and don't take your love for granted.

2 years for me. We were long distance at first and visited each other every 3 weeks. Whenever he was with me life felt normal, and during the gaps between I felt like I was stuck in "waiting mode" just going through the motions until the next visit.

I moved across the country to be with him after 6 months and life seemed to properly start then. 15 years later I lost him. It's like my brain won't fully process he's gone and keeps expecting him to come back. So now I'm stuck in perpetual waiting mode for a thing that is never going to happen.

I think this is the best post I’ve ever read on here ❤️❤️ your life with your DH sounded beautiful and hilarious. Random question, as I completely understand if you’d rather keep your memories of your life with your DH private and for yourself only, but would you ever consider writing a book about them? I’d read it x

It's utterly cack, isn't it? @lightreceiver.
My lovely DH died suddenly and unexpectedly nearly 10 years ago. I'm OK but not much fun in my life. It's a drag always having to be the grown-up.

Much love to all the bereaved on this thread.

I’m so very sorry, OP.

Thinking of you, and others on this thread 💐

I am so sorry OP.

I cant imagine living without my DH and dreading if the time comes. I always wish if one of us should go, I would go first.

Reading your post and I'm bawling.

xxx

It’s the most awful club to be in, isn’t it?

DH passed 16 months ago. Life has changed beyond recognition. Our close loving blended family has just melted away. Our common denominator no longer here. I’ve tried and tried. I’m not sure if I am an active Reminder of the grief they can’t deal with or maybe they never did like me, but I’m sure they did.

Sending you a very big un mumsnetty hug 💐💐💐

So sorry

I am sorry for your loss
your feelings are valid.

💐 So sorry OP. Wonderful you have happy memories. Try to keep looking after yourself as much as possible. Sleep, a big glass of water with lemon, go out when you can. All small things but they do add up. 💐

I'm so sorry for your loss.
He sounds wonderful.
I hope you feel better soon

Been there got the t-shirt.... it's horrid.
I was pregnant at the time he died.
It's a long time ago and I still miss him some days, and still have vivid dreams about him.
But life goes and .... now I'm finding most of my friends are married and constantly moaning about their husbands.
I find a smugness about them, some of them do everything together, no time for me..... and sadly their world will come crashing down for them one day.
The circle of life, some days it really sucks.
Life goes on regardless.

Good luck to you all finding your feet and moving on.

Four years since my OH died - I miss him so much, and the life we had together. I am doing my best to build a new life, but the light has gone out.

I hear you too. I am four years on and our wedding anniversary is coming up which always heightens things for me. Life just isn't what it was supposed to be is it? Lots of friends drop away, people don't talk about them anymore and life just generally feels shit at times. It does get less intense though and life fits around the new you even with the dark days that come along and sucker punch you.

I’m sorry for your loss, OP, and for the losses of everyone else on the thread.💐