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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband doesn’t want to buy me an eternity ring. AIBU to want one?

211 replies

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 20:49

20 year wedding anniversary coming up. Husband asked what I’d like and I said my only thing really is an eternity ring.
He’s acted so weird (I think) and basically taken offence to it. He thinks that wanting/getting one makes the wedding and engagement ring less special. That those rings symbolise forever and that essentially you shouldn’t need anything more.

I feel kind of offended and sad and let down. Now I feel like even if he got me one I just would feel awkward receiving it and wouldn’t have a good feeling anytime I saw it.
I feel like he’s ruined the whole idea of it.

AIBU unreasonable to feel this way?
Has anyone else’s husbands ever had similar?
I didn’t think it was a big deal and had no idea anyone would or could take it that way?

OP posts:
landlordhell · 10/05/2026 21:20

SwedishEdith · 10/05/2026 21:02

What's the point of eternity rings? What are they for? Isn't the wedding ring meant to be for eternity?

Exactly. Been married 29 years and I don’t have one. They’re a bit ‘vow renewal’ aren’t they? Pushed by jewellers as ‘a thing’.

WallaceinAnderland · 10/05/2026 21:19

He's right though, the wedding ring is the same as an eternity ring.

Original poster
slowsausages · 10/05/2026 21:19

@ChavsAreReal No he isn’t usually mean at all, he’s usually very good with gifts and treating me and on the whole a very lovely husband which is why I was surprised at his reaction. He said it makes him feel like the other rings weren’t enough

OP posts:
leaflake · 10/05/2026 21:18

I think YANBU assuming what you're asking for isn't wildly out of budget. He asked what you wanted and you answered. What's wrong with wanting a nice ring? It's no more a waste of money if you'll enjoy it than any other gift and they're hardly an unusual concept.

I think he's being a bit mean and dismissive. Would a nice ring you wore on a different finger be a compromise if he doesn't like the idea of it detracting from your wedding and engagement rings?

ChavsAreReal · 10/05/2026 21:17

He asked, you told him, and now he's told you why you shouldn't want one ...

Is he usually a bit mean?

Original poster
slowsausages · 10/05/2026 21:14

Ok so far this is all making me feel a lot better thank you. I guess it is silly and I was caught up in it. I didn’t mind getting a mid range I wasn’t expecting him to spend loads. Of course I am getting him a gift! I’ve asked him what he’d like but it will be something he wants like golf clubs or some kind of tech.

I feel like it’s a bit more in perspective it only a ring and I have the important ones!

OP posts:
BuffetTheDietSlayer · 10/05/2026 21:13

I didn’t know they were a thing.

I agree with your DH, a wedding ring symbolises commitment and love.

SwedishEdith · 10/05/2026 21:02

What's the point of eternity rings? What are they for? Isn't the wedding ring meant to be for eternity?

Holdonforsummer · 10/05/2026 21:01

We went halves!

ZenNudist · 10/05/2026 20:59

Well YANBU to want one but would you be willing to accept a cheap one? I'd think an eternity ring would be quite expensive and it's not really fair if you get a ££££ ring and he gets nothing

Lifealwaysgetsbetter · 10/05/2026 20:57

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 20:49

20 year wedding anniversary coming up. Husband asked what I’d like and I said my only thing really is an eternity ring.
He’s acted so weird (I think) and basically taken offence to it. He thinks that wanting/getting one makes the wedding and engagement ring less special. That those rings symbolise forever and that essentially you shouldn’t need anything more.

I feel kind of offended and sad and let down. Now I feel like even if he got me one I just would feel awkward receiving it and wouldn’t have a good feeling anytime I saw it.
I feel like he’s ruined the whole idea of it.

AIBU unreasonable to feel this way?
Has anyone else’s husbands ever had similar?
I didn’t think it was a big deal and had no idea anyone would or could take it that way?

Are you menopausal? Is he stressed? This all seems a bit melodramatic over a ring. He’s not wanting to divorce you. He offered you a gift - maybe he wasn’t thinking as expensive as jewellery.. If he doesn’t want to buy you one then it doesn’t mean he hates you. They are quite an old fashioned tradition I think these days. What are you going to buy him?