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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband doesn’t want to buy me an eternity ring. AIBU to want one?

211 replies

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 20:49

20 year wedding anniversary coming up. Husband asked what I’d like and I said my only thing really is an eternity ring.
He’s acted so weird (I think) and basically taken offence to it. He thinks that wanting/getting one makes the wedding and engagement ring less special. That those rings symbolise forever and that essentially you shouldn’t need anything more.

I feel kind of offended and sad and let down. Now I feel like even if he got me one I just would feel awkward receiving it and wouldn’t have a good feeling anytime I saw it.
I feel like he’s ruined the whole idea of it.

AIBU unreasonable to feel this way?
Has anyone else’s husbands ever had similar?
I didn’t think it was a big deal and had no idea anyone would or could take it that way?

OP posts:
beeble347 · 11/05/2026 06:53

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 21:19

@ChavsAreReal No he isn’t usually mean at all, he’s usually very good with gifts and treating me and on the whole a very lovely husband which is why I was surprised at his reaction. He said it makes him feel like the other rings weren’t enough

Congratulations on your anniversary! I mean I kind of agree with him? Wedding ring is forever. Maybe he'd like to get you a different special piece of jewelry? Important birthstones or a stone for the big anniversary?

SnoreyCat · 11/05/2026 06:50

WallaceinAnderland · 10/05/2026 21:19

He's right though, the wedding ring is the same as an eternity ring.

No it’s not. A wedding ring is a symbol of wedding vows which are ‘till death do you part’. Eternity is beyond that - infinite or unending time. OP YANBU.

landlordhell · 11/05/2026 06:40

Empress13 · 10/05/2026 22:56

When I was younger you got an eternity ring when you had your first child

Traditionally that wouldn’t have been long after the wedding, sometimes within the year if a honeymoon baby! That’s a lot of money with a new baby too.

landlordhell · 11/05/2026 06:35

TheSmallAssassin · 10/05/2026 23:51

It does sound like they only became a thing in the 60s because of a push by diamond merchants, but that's also how solitaire diamonds became popular as engagement rings decades earlier, and de Beers were the ones who introduced the idea that engagement rings should cost a month's salary.

That doesn't make them any less pretty though. I'm not bothered about having one, but lots of people like them still.

Marketing has a lot to answer for!

HoppityBun · 11/05/2026 05:17

Chilly80 · 10/05/2026 22:58

I want an eternity ring too. My husband said he would get me one. Been waiting over 12 years so far. Doubt I'll ever get one.

if you do get one, you’ll have waited an eternity for it

canonlydoblue · 11/05/2026 00:02

Didn't happen to me but my mum had something similar. She asked for an eternity ring for years and years and my dad had the same opinion as your husband. She gave up asking in the end. Fast forward to me getting married and the birth of our third child coincided with my 30th and my husband out of the blue bought me an eternity ring. Not going to lie, I was completely shocked but overjoyed. Obviously showed mum and dad, and dad looked decidedly sheepish. Turns out he didn't like being upstaged by his son in law....My mums birthday was the following month and lo and behold, she got her eternity ring. I think some men just don't see the sentiment in it, and like my dad probably perceive it as a waste of money. Hope you manage to come to an agreement and you get your ring.

Villanousvillans · 10/05/2026 23:58

I love rings. I bought myself an eternity ring.

TheSmallAssassin · 10/05/2026 23:51

It does sound like they only became a thing in the 60s because of a push by diamond merchants, but that's also how solitaire diamonds became popular as engagement rings decades earlier, and de Beers were the ones who introduced the idea that engagement rings should cost a month's salary.

That doesn't make them any less pretty though. I'm not bothered about having one, but lots of people like them still.

raisinglittlepeople12 · 10/05/2026 23:49

Maybe he was planning to surprise you with one, so was put out when you requested one?

CherryBlossom321 · 10/05/2026 23:37

He asked what you’d like, you told him…gifts for others are nothing to do with how we feel. They’re about the receiver.

mathanxiety · 10/05/2026 23:32

Onetimeusername1 · 10/05/2026 21:48

I thought eternity rings were for the birth of your first child. Have I got that completely wrong?

You may be thinking of those ghastly 'push presents'.

Calendulaaria · 10/05/2026 23:16

I think he should buy you an eternity ring. He sounds a bit stingy.

PeloMom · 10/05/2026 23:13

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 21:29

Now I feel silly for wanting one 😆 thanks everyone

Why? An eternity ring looks very nice stacked with the wedding and engagement rings. Not sure why everyone else says you expect too much. What are you supposed to ask for? Pots? Pans?

Nogreenskittles · 10/05/2026 23:09

SwedishEdith · 10/05/2026 21:02

What's the point of eternity rings? What are they for? Isn't the wedding ring meant to be for eternity?

They were invented by the diamond houses as a way of getting rid of the glut of diamond chips they had.

No tradition. yet another marketing myth

that said - I do quite like them!

Coffeeisnecessary · 10/05/2026 23:07

I love the way mine looks next to my wedding and engagement rings, feels like it finishes it off. Don't feel silly, it's a perfectly good present option and much more meaningful than golf clubs! I love rings though, I'd like one every year if I had enough fingers!

BreadedChickenLips · 10/05/2026 23:02

onlyoneoftheregimentinstep · 10/05/2026 21:54

We recently celebrated our golden wedding anniversary. I’d been thinking for a while that I’d like an eternity ring. That idea when out of the window when my ever-the -romantic husband said “I assume we’re not doing presents?”

My 'D'H tried that line for Valentine's Day. He assumed wrong 🤣 To be fair I only wanted a soppy card and some chocolates I didn't have to share 🤣

ThisOneLife · 10/05/2026 23:02

If you like jewellery, want something in particular and can afford it - buy it yourself! That way you get exactly what you want!

SwedishEdith · 10/05/2026 23:00

I'll be honest that I can't be bothered to check the links but this does support the theory that they are a marketing job by jewellers. To offload surplus diamonds, apparently.

My husband doesn’t want to buy me an eternity ring. AIBU to want one?
mumofoneAloneandwell · 10/05/2026 22:59

Is he broke?

He should buy you what you want, it doesnt sound like a huge ask if youre buying golf clubs x

Chilly80 · 10/05/2026 22:58

I want an eternity ring too. My husband said he would get me one. Been waiting over 12 years so far. Doubt I'll ever get one.

OnTheBoardwalk · 10/05/2026 22:58

slowsausages · 10/05/2026 21:29

Now I feel silly for wanting one 😆 thanks everyone

No he asked what you wanted and you told him! He’s the one in the wrong

doesn’t matter if randoms like the or not. It’s what you asked for

screamtoabloodysigh · 10/05/2026 22:58

First time I ever saw an eternity ring was in the argos catalogue.

We've been married 20 years this year. I wasn't planning on even really marking it!

BreadedChickenLips · 10/05/2026 22:57

I got one after 10 years because it felt like an eternity by then 😂

20 years if he won't then buy yourself a beautiful one.

LaurieFairyCake · 10/05/2026 22:57

I got mine for the same reason others have, it was 20 years later and I could afford something better - 2.5 carats of old cut diamonds from the early Victorian era. Way cheaper than a modern ring and modern cut but I love the glow.

Empress13 · 10/05/2026 22:56

When I was younger you got an eternity ring when you had your first child