To be so stressed that my kids are horrible?

What are the consequences for their behaviour?

I wonder if he's around other kids at school that act in that way. Both my kids picked up annoying habits when they first started reception.
With the fake screaming or making those comments I would say "I am not going to listen while you talk to me like that/scream like that" then disengage. As soon as there's a slight shift towards better behaviour (not necessarily perfect), re-engage as normal so he realises what you will and won't accept. I find trying to speak to my youngest or reason with him when he's in this sort of mood does absolutely nothing except frustrate me and incite him.

Neither will be bad children though. Have the school suggested anything?
Your oldest might be struggling with his sister being like that but they all go through phases that annoy the other!
The partner question is relevant to the medal situation. Id have said if you don't stop we go outside, then taken youngest out but you can't do that if you're the only one there so it's tricky!

I think OP is asking for help with her situation generally, not questioning her parenting in a specific example.

I’m sorry @doyoueverthink, it sounds tough. I went through stages where I was anxious my children weren’t nice and it was always because they were at a tricky stage - they grew out of it with consistency and are all now quite lovely teens. But it’s hard to see progress when you’re ground down.

Hope you can make some time for yourself if possible to replenish your own ability to parent (you can’t pour from an empty cup etc etc). I also found The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read very very helpful in understanding how to respond to bratty behaviour - and why I found it so triggering.

Best of luck - it will be okay x

I think it’s relevant. If there is more than one adult, it’s often a case of divide and conquer at weekends with children of these ages. If it’s you on your own, there is a different challenge. I wouldn’t be so quick to jump down the throat of a poster who has not been rude to you.

They are both still little so there is time to improve their behaviour.

What consequences do they have for bad behaviour at the moment?
Do you reward/praise good behaviour?

Thanks 'ScouserSue', I must admit I was a bit taken aback by her attitude to my question, as I just thought if there was no Dad around, things may be more difficult for her as a single Mum.

It is relevant- it was the same thing that occurred to me as I read your post too. Grandparents too- a support network. Your children need to have calm consistent boundaries held by a number of adults- that's how they'll learn that that's the way the world works, not just what Mum says. Children vary and some are easy whatever the parents do, but if theyre not easy (and many arent, but can be shaped!) it's a really hard job if it's just you.

Edited to add I also echo what @Bananachews said about praising the behaviour you want to see, however things like reward charts didn't work for mine- they saw not getting a sticker as a punishment and found that power thing really hard. Praising the good and consequences (even if just a sharp voice) worked well but you have to be consistent. And try not to worry or read too much into specific things they say and do- many children look for a reaction, it doesn't mean they're going to grow up a horrible or violent person!

You asked for help and the PP offered help. If this is your attitude normally, no wonder you and you’re kids are struggling.

What consequences do they have for their behaviour OP?

My eldest 5 used to be like this and to an extent still in sometimes. The phrases he has come out with since starting school are very similar to then smash your face in one. When he says things like that, I always ask him what it means and if he thinks that’s a kind thing to say. He will always say no, so I make it clear he shouldn’t be saying things he doesn’t understand. We have a reward jar now so he gets rewarded for the good things he does (can be anything), but if he says something nasty of behaves in an awful way one gets removed. We always give him a chance to correct his behaviour before taking it away. It’s taken a couple of months but it’s really started to work. We used to just send him to his room but he never cared because all his toys were up there, so he would be having the time of his life lol.

I’ve found that complimenting the behaviour you want has worked better for me than telling him off when he does something naughty. So if he says something nice to you or someone else, compliment that. If your daughter shares or wait her turn, compliment it and explain why you liked it.

Some of this sounds normal, it’s just the way you handle it that’s important. What does your DP say and do you have a good support network?

Is your DS the same with your DP - is it only you he plays up with or DP as well?

Is the Dad around OP? If so, why didn't he stay with your boy while he got his medal, so that you could take your DD out of the situation?