AIBU? Hotel room alone?

This is exactly it. So, nope, you are definitely not being unreasonable, it is scientifically proven, for some people.

They might not be able to pin point it to a tangible anxiety of someone breaking in. However, the inability to sleep, on the first night, is real.

I have it, it’s horrible. Interestingly, it isn’t every hotel. You might be lucky tonight.

Do whatever you need to, to feel more relaxed and don’t worry if people think it weird. You don’t have to tell anyone, we all have our “things”.

Hope you have a peaceful night and you get to enjoy a bit of peace.

YABU. You are safer than at home. I dream of staying in a hotel right now

..... not being able to have breakfast before interacting with another human being, generally feeling like the hotel's primary focus is on cleaning your room and you're just in the way

I have something in my room before venturing out. And I put the Do Not Disturb sign on the door if I don't want the cleaning staff coming in. I don't think they clean every day these days, do they?

Certainly in the UK, I tend to use Holiday Inn, Premier Inn or Travelodge and they usually have a separate chain or "flip over" style of lock on the inside which would stop someone with a master key easily gaining entry. Obviously, with enough force, they could break the fixings, but that would be noisy. At least it'd stop an "accidental" attempt and the noise would wake me if it were deliberate.

But on the rare occasion there's nothing like that, (and more often abroad) I just put my suitcase/rucksack against the door. Again, it won't stop entry, but it will make noise enough to wake me.

Lots of "chain hotels" have a small ironing board, so sometimes I'd use that to lean against the door - again, won't stop someone coming in, but would make a noise.

Other than that I absolutely love hotel stays. There's just something about going into a newly serviced hotel room where there's no clutter, bed neatly made, folded towels, etc. I like the simplicity and not being surrounded by "stuff" - even my own "stuff" can be annoying when I'm at home, and I'm a big "de-clutterer" so have nothing I don't actually need.

You can do what you want. I was giving general advice on this sort of thinking being unhealthy in reference to the OP, who is so anxious in a hotel room by herself that she can't sleep.

Ok, and 4 weeks ago I was given a card to a room in a Premier inn and there was a sleeping man already in the bed. In what way does my routine affect you? Your experience is your experience and mine is mine. I'm usually checking in late, so maybe we see different things. I don't see basic safety tactics as going through life scared, my employer provides room locks, should I just not use them??? In case some poster on MN feels it's a tad overboard?

Things that make the news do so because they're not the norm.

I've stayed in countless hotels on my own, including Travelodges, and no one has ever tried to access my room without knocking first. Not once.

Once someone did try to get into a male colleague's room - it was a female guest who had got her room number confused. She apologised profusely and it was a non-issue.

Going through life thinking of unlikely worst-case scenarios in the name of "safety" is really unhealthy.

He had "lost" his phone down a toilet somewhere. This was normal behaviour for him! He was always very drunk when away. This info was known throughout the company.

I am away with work this week and I cant wait!

A night to my self. Might get a justeat delivered, facemask on. I can get in bed early.

Reframe in in your mind as a treat to yourself, and just buy a wedge if it makes you feel safer.

I used to travel a lot for work and felt similar about the possibility of someone coming into my room. It is very unlikely and in the rare event it happens it would be an accident so you are unlikely to be at risk. Some doors have a chain you can use but if there wasn't one available I would put something behind the door, like a rustly plastic bag, that would wake me if someone came in.

Fine to think that for yourself, not very supportive or helpful for the OP to be so dismissive. Presumably she posted for support? OP knows she is an adult so not sure how "Do get a grip. You’re a grown adult" helps her situation. Different people find different things challenging. OP is professionally successful so doing well overall. She clearly wants to tackle her fear, that's more than many would do.

It is immature not to be able to empathise or phrase things in a socially skilled manner. But then I imagine some people will have grown up with parents that just told them to shut up and put up, which might explain the nature of dismissive posts like that.

First night effect here. it’s perfectly normal to feel like you do

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/apr/21/struggle-to-sleep-in-a-strange-bed-scientists-have-uncovered-why

Would suggest this if you are nervous. I stay in hotel occasionally alone. I treat it as an opportunity yo chill, have some snacks and relax.

There are many things about hotels that annoy me (bad wifi, bad aircon, not being able to have breakfast before interacting with another human being, generally feeling like the hotel's primary focus is on cleaning your room and you're just in the way) but I've honestly never felt unsafe in any hotel room. It wouldn't occur to me to wedge a chair under the door, that strikes me as a bit batshit.

I did read recently about the "first night effect" where many people struggle to sleep the first night in a new bed. So maybe you'll be fine the second night.

I travel a lot for work, personally I love a hotel room But, I still need to consider my safety. I always ask for 2 key cards at check-in as it looks like I'm not alone and i use a hotel door lock that prevents anyone else opening it.

Not sure why posters are questioning you, with the recent news around Travel Lodge, safety is an issue and tbh always has been.

I think it’s immature to be this terrified of travelling alone to be honest

I’m used to it now. I’ve been single for 2 and a half years. I’ve been to Athens on my own, it was brilliant! The holiday apartment I rented was very secure and the bed was comfy, I slept well. I’ve stayed in London several times alone for work. On Saturday I stayed in London to see a west end show and I was fine. I think I’m used to it now, and it definitely has its advantages. Plus, I snore, so there’s no irritable partner whinging in the morning!

So are you (presumably), yet you sound emotionally and socially immature.

I go away fairly regularly and love a solo night away - I have a bath & watch all the programmes DH hates 😁

I do find it harder to go to sleep without DH but I use the headspace app and put on a wind down to sleep relaxation audio and that normally sets me up. Might be worth a try?

Same.

i don’t travel for work now but i used to love it.

get a room not on the ground floor, deadlock the door and stop thinking about it. Posting here and seeking the confirmation of similarity over anxious people is not going to help.

When i go to Liverpool for gigs at the Arena i always stay at the Leonardo (used to be Jurys Inn)on Albert Dock by myself. I have never had any trouble, desk staff are wonderful and i love just chilling with a hot chocolate before bed! Always felt safe.

Reminds me of the time I lived in halls when a student.
The vast majority of people living there were female.
I slept naked.
One night at about 3am the fire alarm went off. We all gathered in a hall.
All the other girls had frilly nighties and or pyjamas on.
I had the jumper and jeans I wore the night before.

They were like, why are you dressed?
I made sure my dressing gown got took out of the wardrobe after that and put next to the bed!

It's not about safety for me. It's about not being in my own bed and the familiarity of it.

I suspect it's similar to people not being able to poo in unfamiliar places, though thankfully I've never had this.

I could have armed guards outside the door. Makes no difference.

The safety aspect wouldn't bother me at all, however, I'm very set in my ways about bedtime routines and hate sleeping away from home.
If you're anxious, I recommend some cooling pad to the back of the neck.
You can buy them in the chemists. I think they're supposed to help with migraines but obviously can be used for other things.

Hotel bedrooms are always too bloody hot!
It really pisses me off when you cannot open the windows.

Heat increases anxiety.