AIBU? Hotel room alone?

For the short term, order one of the door-jam devices you can get, Amazon do them. See if that helps you feel more secure.

In the longer term it sounds like you are having issues with anxiety impacting on your life. Can you self fund some time with a psychologist? There are psychologists who specialise in health anxiety.

Nothing to worry about? I have experienced things to worry about in hotels.

Apart from the male staff coming into my room, I'm still mentally scarred from the loud sex sessions that ive heard in hotels.

One of the worst ones was when I heard a man in the next room be dominated by two prostitutes. I heard every word and I heard them talk about payment. Ugh

I love a hotel room by myself! I travel occasionally for work (used to travel a lot) and it’s my favourite especially if the hotel has a pool. No-one asking me to cook their supper or help with homework, no need to put away washing, load the dishwasher etc, and a big bed all to myself! Lovely.

I travel frequently with one or both of my children for sports competitions and that’s fun but not as relaxing as a work trip and the blissful solitude of 12 hours in a room by myself. If you worry about your room being broken into, I think there are little metal door wedges you can get that stop the door being opened from the outside, but I have never bothered anywhere in the world and have never had a room broken in to.

I’ve stayed on my own loads of times - nothing to worry about! More chance of someone breaking in at your house! You can’t create scenarios about everything! Presume you’re not well travelled if one night in a hotel in your home country is making you this way!

You’ll be absolutely fine.

If you get REALLY anxious, Amazon sell a door wedge that sounds a loud siren if someone tries to open the door. I have one, but have never used it.

Take a deep breath and wedge a chair in front of your door with a suitcase on it. And don't accept a drink from anyone you don't know! I also get anxious, but I've stayed on my own all over the world, including some dubious places in Argentina and the US and have been fine.

I stayed in one hotel (abroad) where the male receptionist insisted on bringing a cup of tea to my room in the evening. I didn't ask for it. The first time , i thought "this is quite a nice service that they do". The second evening he came to my room with the tea and just stood there staring at me. He said "can i come in". I said No. I had to go down to the manager and tell him to tell the guy to stop coming to my room

That's alarming - it's not something I've ever experienced though. Polite conversation at most.

I stayed in one small hotel, in a small town, where the female owner asked me lots of questions which I didn't want to answer, as I didn't want the (sensitive, work-related) reason I was there to be spread around! But most staff couldn't care less.

I'm older, though, so the young male receptionists barely see me at all 😄

She wrote rare but then she wrote countless

"Countless stories of arriving guests being given a key to a room already occupied"

As the poster said, these are very rare incidents. I've stayed alone in loads of hotels for work, and have never once felt remotely threatened or uncomfortable. There will always be extreme stories, as with anything, but try to remember these are very exceptional.

Of course hotels have risks.

Even locking the door from the inside doesnt help.

Remember when that woman locked her hotel door from the inside, and a staff member was still able to open it. He let a strange man in - who said he was the womans partner. And he raped her.

The thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about hotels, are the male receptionists.

If there is a female recpetionist, she usually just gives me the key and gives me information.

Many of the male receptionists want a chat when i dont want a chat in any way shape or form.
Ive had male receptionists ask me where i am coming from, why i am visting the city, have i been there before. Then some of them insist on showing me the bedroom. They come up and come into the room with me. One of them (small hotel) started telling me about his personal life. They don't treat me professionally. Sometimes they seem to think that i am there to entertain them in their loneliness

I do think there is a specific risk, albeit small, associated with in hotels, and I used to be a duty manager so I’m aware of some rare stories that are unsettling, including:

Countless stories of arriving guests being given a key to a room already occupied

A very drunk corporate client pressuring reception staff to give him the room number of a specific female colleague, to the extent that the police were called

Non-residents jumping into a lift last minute with (solo, female) residents to follow them to their floors (in those lifts where you’ve to tap your key to access those floors)

Fire stairs being used to access upper floors

And from the staff perspective: room service staff delivering food, to be greeted by a stark naked man (subsequently barred)

Guest checked out and left printed child pornography material (I was the chambermaid that found it)

Guests closing and locking the door behind staff delivering room service

Once found a bathtub full of heavily bloodied towels. I have no idea what happened.

Hotels with hundreds of guests do have to be really alert to bad actors, and security is really important. When I worked in operations, and this is years ago so systems will have moved on, but the duty handover book which was hand-written up each shift would be full of incidents and ‘ones to watch.’

They were three different incidents.

The two male workers coming into my room- they said they thought the room had been empty. Plausible - I guess, but it definitely made me feel uncomfortable.

The one where they took photos of me. I told reception and they brushed it off. They said it could have been a light coming from somehwhere else. It was definitely a camera flash and i saw on an online review, that another guest had complained of the same thing

Interestingly i saw a tiktok video recently of a guest complaining to a different hotel about the same thing. She said that she saw camera flashes outside her room window (window led to another hall).
The male receptionist brushed her off...they probably all know whats going on

I always struggle to sleep too in a hotel but would relish the peace and alone time, go and do something if there is a cinema nearby or have a bath and pampering night in your room. The chance of anything bad happening is minute, order a glass of fizz and relax!

So why quote me then?

yes Surely it depends on where you live and if the hotel has security to stop non guests getting in (although I get that sometimes it’s a member of staff that breaks in).

its hard to know, I was sexually assaulted by a man breaking into my room when I was staying in an apartment on a complex rather than a hotel so that makes it hard to tell one’s brain “you are being stupid” .

Sounds like event organising may not be the right job for you.

Yeah you will. Ear plugs don't completely deafen you and those things are loud

The first night in a hotel room is always a bad nights sleep. I stay away a lot and I hate it too!

What helps me is some background noise- I listen to a bedtime story on the calm app it blocks out the air con and random people slamming doors. Bring an extension lead so your phone can be charging next to your bed and some blue tac to cover up any annoying flashing lights.

Seriously?! I hope you raised absolute
hell.

I love staying in a hotel on my own. I'm off on a work trip abroad next week and I'm really looking forward to the first night in the hotel. I've been to this city many times, so I'm already planning where to have dinner and looking forward to going to my favourite cafe for coffee. The hotel also has an amazing breakfast buffet. Peace and quiet, a room to myself, absolute bliss.

I disagree that you are safer in a hotel than at home.

I have had two male hotel staff come into my room when i was in bed. Their reason didnt make sense.

I have also had a male hotel staff member take a photo of me when i was in bed (through the glass panel at the top of the door)