AIBU? Hotel room alone?

Always ask for a first floor (or above) room.

dead bold the door

Nope - I stick them in my suitcase. They squash down loads! 🤣

OMG. Do you travel everywhere by car then? I can't imagine taking multiple pillows with me on top of personal affairs plus everything I need for work.

OP I have solo travelled in hotels around the world from Greenland to Singapore and I can assure you nothing like this has ever happened to me. Your response to a couple of nights in Liverpool is absolutely disproportionate, but you know that, anxiety isn't logical. You will be fine though.

"It's not about safety for me. It's about not being in my own bed and the familiarity of it."

Me too. Can't sleep the first night anywhere, but in any case just being away with work and having an event going on is enough to mean I'll barely sleep.
I hadn't considered I was worried about safety, but it is true that I don't like it if I can't see the door of the room.

Well apparently not for one of the posters whose male friend just went out stark naked!
I think it's good advice for people who sleep naked to take a dressing gown. Personally, I always wear something to sleep and I wouldn't necessarily have space in my bag for a dressing gown if only going for a short trip.

Not sleeping and tossing and turning on night 1 sounds totally normal. I just tell myself that whatever happens with the sleep, I will cope the next day. Then it’s more likely I’ll sleep better day 2. It’s also normal to be unsettled somewhere new.

Don't beat yourself up, i travelled alot for work & I was the same. Are you friendly enough with a colleague that you could explain your anxiety to & maybe have a connecting room. Also look at some of the safety items you can buy to secure your door, once you are in the room for the night. All this will hopefully make you less anxious.

If it gets too bad could you explain it to your HR department and stop travelling for work?.

YANBU, I'm the same. Hate an empty house when at home too 😒

get Amazon to deliver something like this:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/DoorJammer-DJ3-Portable-Security-Protection/dp/B0GS6PDXP7/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.im7yRl8gMi0hf7j1KAVNs2g-ioJLDdLkL3XSwEXjRKBELDNj7-ePyWoc6BhVC-Kj8Zz-v0ByMJhELRPQbPC_CK4CcfH442EI3pTHOh7gGo8b4zWnA-LbIb1NHfuo_UQPNtshj22QTMlxjdeSlW29YLxcRpTCSaxIyQROInSpaVj6xRLpncnzjC45u3QMqVPfy_XxYtOmA7S60YP9sueVKQ.YlijoFvIqhjUxRdpPHDvEKy6MrQ-jEBZIFl9uotZGPE&dib_tag=se&keywords=door%2Bstopper%2Bhotel&qid=1778520217&sr=8-3&th=1&psc=1

I’m not an anxious person, when I was working travelled quite a bit and did mostly one night in hotels, sometimes 2 and sometimes 3 nights.

the first and only nights I never slept well. Some cities bizarrely less well than others. Helsinki particularly badly as I always wake up at 6am which is equivalent to 4am uk.

what’s doubly annoying is that my DP snores, so theoretically I should sleep better… 🤷🏻‍♀️

that message is mostly to the sniffy posters sneering about “not being well travelled” it’s not a competition

@mumstheword1x if it’s anxiety, get a room door lock, maybe invest in some herbal sleeping pills or melatonin if you can get it.

I’d be concerned that wedging the door would mean the fire brigade couldn’t get in if there was a fire. That would worry me more than an intruder to be honest.

Try those cooling pads I mentioned. I'm not making this up, they have been shown to help anxiety when placed behind the neck. I saw them today in the chemist, they're meant for migraine relief but have other uses, they're less than a fiver and not hard to pack.
I feel for you. I'm not scared about anybody breaking in I do, however, hate sleeping away from home.
I'm lucky to have a few hours.

Especially hotel rooms where it's always so hot.

I'm with you OP, I stay away from home sometimes because I live in the middle of nowhere, but I don't sleep. Comfy bed, perfect temperature, but I just don't!

I usually sleep very poorly for the first night or two at the hotels, no idea why. Wasn't always like that, seems to have started after having kids or maybe coincided with entering late 30s

I used to stay in hotels 2/3 nights per week.
Probably already been stated- get a doorstop, if you don’t have one or time to get one, put your case by your door or a towel so if(and it won’t) the door tries to open, the towel/suitcase will create drag/friction making it harder. Ask to be on the first floor or above- not the ground floor (as there are so many of you request before you get there). I can’t help you sleep, that is something you have to do yourself, try cognitive dissonance. I used to have a cuddly toy as my comforter when I went away, even as a grown arse adult- I wasn’t the only one! Ear plugs are good also. Good luck. It really isn’t that bad.

Op are you scared because it’s Liverpool or the anxiety you suffer?

YABU

Google tips for making sure your hotel door is shut & secured. Put a chair up against the door, whatever. Your level of fear is not reasonable or even rational.

I am constantly amazed at the very limited lives people live and the way they let irrational fears limit them.

I spent many years travelling on my own on business. I worked for a global pharmaceutical company and earned an amazing salary with lots of perks but I hated every night I was away from home. Endless flights, airports, trains, taxis and hotels. I never slept well even in the most luxurious hotels. Family and friends thought I was so lucky, and in many ways I was, but I hated the travel and the nights away. I retired 6 years ago at the age of 56. I was able to do this due to squirrelling away huge amounts into a pension so the years of travelling brought some benefits but I don’t miss the airports and hotels any more.

Take your pillows with you @mumstheword1x you’ll sleep much better for it. Mine go all over the place with me!

I absolutely love staying away on my own, whether air b n b/caravan/hotel room and purposely arrange it!

This isn't for everyone, so things you can do to help would be a simple doorstop (or several) wedged under door, have a rape alarm under your pillow, put something on your handle and a plate under so it makes a noise.

I’d love a hotel room to myself! Do you not travel much op?

The thing that makes me the most uncomfortable about hotels, are the male receptionists.

Female receptionists can be at risk. When I was checking in to a Travelodge last year, the receptionist apologised because the system was slow. They were using a back up system or terminal because some drunk men had smashed things up. The female receptionist had had to retreat to the room behind the desk and lock herself in.

I have to travel for work regularly. I love the time alone, but sleeping somewhere different really throws me. I now take my own pillow (they’re never comfy in hotels) and have a miniaturised kit with my usual shampoo / conditioner, shower gel, etc rather than random ‘travel sized’ items or hotel toiletries which always seem to make my skin dry and hair fuzzy. I also use door security measures as per previous posters. Also agree about having drinks / food / snacks you like.

I always sleep awfully the first night but not through fear I’m same any time I’m away from home