AIBU? Hotel room alone?

@mumstheword1x

I suspect you actually have worries about your health, (and other things, ‘what if’s?’) so Generalised Anxiety, rather than actual health anxiety (I have X or Y and they are not finding it!)

Either way, it may be worth getting some help for your anxiety problem.

I love getting nights away from the kids but I know what you mean about hotel room doors not feeling safe. Thanks to posters for the tips on locks.

It’s a real thing Google ‘first night effect’
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11467056/

“The first night in an unfamiliar environment is marked by reduced sleep quality and changes in sleep architecture”

I often sleep badly the first night in a hotel.

Always put the additional chain on the door. I also used to move the desk chair (if there was one) and my suitcase against the door with the idea that it would at least make a big racket if someone did get in. But honestly OP, as someone with anxiety, I promise that the risks are so small and you only hear about instances of this because they are so rare. I used to relish having a night in a hotel after running an event, even if I was back to my room late I’d have a shower/bath, do skincare and just swan around for a bit taking in the fact that I could do whatever I wanted 😆

You could also try putting the TV on low and sleep with that on? Sometimes total silence is the worst when you’re feeling anxious.

There’s lots of good advice on here. I travel a lot for work - as others have said - I have a small device that ensures no one can enter, if not just put the chair against the door. That makes me feel secure. I turn the air conditioning off at night as I sleep better. I have considered taking my own pillow - I haven’t yet but hotel pillows always seem huge and I like a flat pillow! Finally, I always pack a self care type kit and have a face mask, hand mask, lovely shower gel and cream etc. So it’s a nice wind down and treat. I might get a glass of wine and so on. Anything different from a night at home so I look forward to it.

I'm away mon-Fri next week for work. You get used to it!

My DD is an experienced traveller, and has stayed in hotel rooms, alone, numerous times.
Hopefully where you're staying is a reputable and decent place, but there are many items you can purchase off Amazon that you can easily quickly put to use to protect yourself from any potential break-ins.
Using one or two of those deterrents could very easily put your mind at rest.
You know to be aware of your situation at all times try to avoid being observed going into your hotel room by yourself.
A lot of people on here, including myself, would welcome a room to myself where I could really relax and enjoy an evening, and I hope you have a much better R&R this time OP.

Have fun in the city and tire yourself out. There’s loads to here. Lovely places to eat, beautiful cathedrals etc

I travel a lot for work and I get what you are saying to a degree, but frankly, this is a dream - you can watch tv, you can read, you can eat in bed, you can walk around in a t-shirt and knickers....

I would be thrilled to have that time to myself! Clean hotel room, a book, a glass of wine and I am a happy woman. No one needs me. No cleaning or cooking to do!

I struggle to sleep when I’m away with work. I try to remember to pack some codeine and have that with a glass of wine and it usually helps me nod off.

That said, up until about a year ago we had to share rooms with colleagues, so getting my own room has definitely made it feel a little easier!

Not true, I’ve just been at a premier inn, alone, on the ground floor.

YANBU. I have travelled for work for 25 years and rarely if ever spent a full week in my own bed til COVID. I now absolutely detest staying away from home, it sends me into a proper grump and I get terribly homesick. It can be the nicest hotel in the world but I would so much rather be at home with my family. I know how you feel. It will soon be done for you. Just try to avoid overnights if you can in future - very early trains and late trains home are your friend.... It's a pain in the arse but better than staying overnight.

Definitely get a doorwedge. Once it's in, you won't have to worry again (says someone who checks under beds in own house when husband is away....)

A friend of mine had a miscarriage in a hotel room, and left behind a whole load of heavily bloodied towels unfortunately.

I think you suffer from more than just "health anxiety" tbf

I used to travel a lot for work and I never slept particularly well in hotels. I never spent time in the restaurant or bar. Went straight to my room and ordered room service. If there’s a safety latch on the door I always used it and left my bag near the door so it would bang if opened. I’m very cautious in hotels due to an incident early on in my career. I think security has generally improved since then though.

I'm sorry you're feeling anxious about this trip. But honestly, the sort of situation you quoted is extremely rare. I've stayed in dozens and dozens of hotels across three continents and never experienced anything dangerous. I have on a couple of occasions been given a key to a room that was already occupied, but these were obviously mistakes, nothing nefarious or ill-intentioned.

You mentioned health anxiety. Is that your main concern, rather than a fear of someone breaking into your room (which is highly unlikely)?

My top tip is when you are going to sleep is to listen a slightly boring podcast. It drowns out your any spiralling / catastrophising thoughts . I find Tim Harford is excellent for this. (sorry, Tim)

One night away is always far more difficult than several in a row I find. I have made it clear to my boss that I don't want overnight stays on the very few occasions I have to travel a distance. Aged relatives is the reason I have used though to be honest is an excuse.

I hate hotels too OP. Too much involuntary travel. I take my own bedding - a very lightweight duvet and my own pillow - because hotels seem to love stifling you with winter duvets and an unfamiliar pillow never feels right!

I stock up on really nice food and drink so that I don't have to leave my room, and sometimes take a yoga mat that remains rolled in the corner but is there for the glorious day when I actually feel like using it 🤣

Blimey, I love a solo hotel room, especially in London.

You're being ridiculously paranoid, OP, it really sounds like you need some sort of therapy.....

I often stay in hotels with work, I bloody love it!

Alright bloody hell 😂 I'm dying laughing at this reply she must be shitting herself more after this 😂🤦🏼‍♀️.

Ok I'm in Liverpool and from Liverpool, where about are you staying? In town? There is risk everywhere in life, even in your own home.

Location depending get some nice food, there is loads of places and have a nice bath and relax, and maybe look at what shows are on the empire for one of the nights to give you something to do

I worry in hotel rooms and always push a chair under the door handle.

Do you have any choice in where you stay? I much prefer smaller places - they feel safer to me.