AIBU to stay in the UK rather than move back to Switzerland?

My neighbour is Swiss. She’s in her 70s and has about 6 or so Swiss friends, all in 70s and 80s I think. We’re not in a particularly big town . None of them have any intention of going back.

Do what works for you.

Surely it depends which part of Britain you are in. English people in the south east IME tend to be difficult to get to know but it depends again on context. I have neighbours who are retired and they have more time to chat. People rushing to get a train to commute, come home quite late probably not as bothered as tired. I have family elsewhere in the country and the difference in friendliness on an everyday level is stark. Everywhere you go people are chatty, supermarket, neighbours, postman etc.

The Swiss job market is brutal at the moment.
What job will your husband be looking for? And where?
Don’t forget health insurance for a family will be chf1,000 every month.

You think the British are more open minded and friendly?

All I hear from the people that move to England is: how unfriendly the people are in England. They say that it is really difficult to make friend here. That people are very unwelcoming

I 100% agree with the open minded ness and willing to be friendly. I have 1 swiss friend. She is lovely. But it is indeed hard to make friends. Most people have their circle from school, maybe university (if they went) and that’s it.

Mostly becaus the kids really struggled with the move. Knowing german, knowing kids games and their language and fitting in are different.

Moving back to the village was also wired. Everyone thinks they know you and you them. But I am not the same person that left 12 years ago. People talk about us but not with us. Being new to a place is different because people are more interested to know who the newcomers are.
Don't get me wrong there is a lot of good things too. Lovely nature, my german family, better payed jobs, loads of old friends...

So maybe it is just a "gras is greener" thing, but we had a good live. The move and all the responsibility of being the only adult that knew the languageand took more out of me than i was able to give at times.
We have sattel now, my husbands german has massively improved and we will stay put.
But i still somtimes think we should have made a different choice.

You sound very happy, so that’s all that matters.

perhaps I can take your place in Switzerland? I have friends there and go quite often. I’m even starting to understand a bit of Schwiizerdütsch (I have a degree in high German from many decades ago).

I think people who say this are trying to complement your homeland and also expressing anxiety about this country. I don't think they are saying you should pack up your lives and wave goodbye to a life that you enjoy and a circle of friends you love. Just reply by thanking them and saying that the grass isn't always greener and that you love this country and the friendliness of the people, you have lived here your whole adult life and intend to grow old here.

The British people saying it to you - have they actually lived in Switzerland?

I think some British people seem to think of Switzerland as A Utopian paradise, when it is not perfect. No where is.

i bloody love Switzerland.

But of course YANBU. You are happy so why change it!? I am just baffled that you prefer the UK. …..

Ignore them!

You're comparing your actual life in the UK to your actual knowledge of Switzerland and your part of it.

Unless they know you very well and are Swiss, the people saying you should go back are merely comparing thoughts about UK life in general (and possibly their own struggles) with an idealised view of life in Switzerland.

Regardless of where you're moving to or from, I think you need a much better reason to move happy, well settled DC with friends than "other people think I should" plus you're both happy with good jobs.

The UK is working for you, you're all happy, sounds ideal to me.

I'm from a small alpine valley which is absolutely beautiful but the people can be very very insular and close minded and this bothered me my entire life when living there. I find living in the UK quite freeing. Also job wise it would be difficult. My son is bilingual so that would be fine but I'm afraid he'll find it hard to integrate.

This is all about the pros and cons for you and your son. What about your husband? Where does he fit into all this?

I mean Zurich in Switzerland has chinese, Indian, Italian and Mexian restaurants aswell.

I loved visiting Zurich I have to say.

Ive lived in other big European cities. I find the people in the UK to be the least friendly of anywhere Ive lived.

I have encountered a lot of rude and nasty people in the UK.

That is why I am thinking of moving to Spain. I lived there before and I liked it.

I would choose the UK over Switzerland but a few places over the UK.

(Indeed I left the UK in 2024.)

If you love living there, and your son is thriving etc., why would you even entertain leaving?

I've lived in 5 different UK cities. Including Norfolk. If you don't mix with other cultures I'd say that is more of a choice than it has to be. Do you have Indian, Chinese, Italian, Mexican restaurants and shops near you? I do and I have everywhere I've lived in the UK in the last 25 years. But I definitely would not want to live in a very small, white dominant and cliquey village.

I agree, that when I grew up (I'm likely a lot older than you), it was a lot more white dominant than it is now. But I prefer the cultural variety. And I actively missed it in Switzerland.

I am form south germany came to the uk for erasmus, stayed for 12 years met husband and had bilingual children...
We did move to germany and i think it might have been the wrong decision. The kids love it now but took ages to adjust. Small village live is isolating

You are happy were you are no need to change no matter what other people think they would do.

"As a Brit, used to having a huge variety of cultures and ethnicities and their influences around me, "

Lol where do you live? In a big British city?

It is definitely not multi cultutlral al over Britain.

I lived in Norfolk, it was predominantly white there.

I now live in a small town on the South coast of England. Again, its very white and clicky. The white British definitely do not mix with the foreigners