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AIBU?

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Original poster

Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

284 replies

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 11:46

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

OP posts:
emuloc · 10/05/2026 13:33

TheEighthDwarf · 10/05/2026 13:30

No, it isn’t

Show quote history

You have to be 16, or over to apply for it.

PrettyPickle · 10/05/2026 13:31

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 10/05/2026 12:55

You don’t get £1000 on dla or pip even on the highest rates, stop lying.

What world do you live in? DLA or PIP if you get the higher rate on both mobility and care, that's like £850 a month - fact, look it up on the government website. That is on top of any other benefits you maybe entitled to.

TheEighthDwarf · 10/05/2026 13:30

PurpleLovecats · 10/05/2026 12:05

I think she’s talking shit. PIP is an adult benefit for a start isn’t it?

No, it isn’t

TheEighthDwarf · 10/05/2026 13:27

It’s impossible for someone to get PIP at over £1000 per month. Best thing is to take everything she says with a pinch of salt and rise above it.

TheEighthDwarf · 10/05/2026 13:27

It’s impossible for someone to get PIP at over £1000 per month. Best thing is to take everything she says with a pinch of salt and rise above it.

TomatoSandwiches · 10/05/2026 13:25

Octavia64 · 10/05/2026 13:20

I get pip.

i’d like to declare now that I spend it on designer clothes and theatre trips to London.

How wonderful that you continue to support the UK economy, thank you!

Purplewarrior · 10/05/2026 13:24

Well you could possibly be eligible for DLA for your child but you choose not to even bother claiming…

Getmeouttathismess · 10/05/2026 13:24

sidneytweeney · 10/05/2026 11:55

If I were her, I’d be jealous of you OP. She’s sitting on her arse all day (allegedly) scamming the benefits system and achieving nothing other than some tats and a pretty garden. You, on the other hand are on your way to a respected career, working hard and setting an amazing example for your kids. You’re the winner here 🌸

This exactly!

Octavia64 · 10/05/2026 13:20

I get pip.

i’d like to declare now that I spend it on designer clothes and theatre trips to London.

WhereHasMyPlanetGone · 10/05/2026 13:20

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:02

Im just going off what she’s told me

Show quote history

My son is profoundly autistic and gets full rate DLA (it’s not PIP for a child) and mobility allowance and it’s not £1000 per month… you also don’t get it for being ‘mildly autistic’, however much you exaggerate, as you have to have proof of their difficulties.
So I’m calling bullshit on this one.

AlwaysLookOnTheBrightSideOfLife · 10/05/2026 13:19

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 11:46

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

So much bull in this post... for a start a 12yo doesn't get PIP. It's DLA, and no one gets it for being mildly autistic.

emuloc · 10/05/2026 13:19

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:13

At least the OP is working and not being a layabout. It's none of your business why she is having another baby. You're deflecting from the original post.

Well maybe she has more in common with the 'neighbour' than she thinks, and should not be so quick to run and post about her. (If she even exists).

ShanghaiDiva · 10/05/2026 13:17

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:11

Why don't you ask her if you want to know so badly.

Okay I’ll bite.
@dgs21 - please do share what you spend your free money on?

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:16

UC takes into account earnings and disregards 55p per £1.00 of earnings. How is calculated is available on Google. It's not a secret.

ShanghaiDiva · 10/05/2026 13:15

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:13

At least the OP is working and not being a layabout. It's none of your business why she is having another baby. You're deflecting from the original post.

Is it our business if she receives free money from taxpayers? The OP seems to think it’s her business what her neighbour spends her money on..
same standard should be applied, don’t you think?

Friendlygingercat · 10/05/2026 13:15

I agree with the PP who said you have a lot to feel proud of. You are on your way to a respected career and have that to spur you on, even if it is hard work. I lived on a shit estate while I was doing my first degree and it was a huge social come down. However I knew it was not permanent. One day you will be qualified and able to earn your living rather than having it handed to you. However if you have a disabled child you should apply for the appropriate benefit (children get DLA) because the money is for the child and to help with those extra expenses. Its not to improve your house or garden.

You will have your qualification and your career when your neighbour has only impermanent material things to show.

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:13

At least the OP is working and not being a layabout. It's none of your business why she is having another baby. You're deflecting from the original post.

vincettenoir · 10/05/2026 13:13

YNBU to feel jealous. Jealousy is something we all feel from time to time, we’re human. But it’s not great for you to have a friend you resent. I’d put the friendship on the back burner while you’re feeing like this. It sounds like you don’t have much free time as it is and it’s would be better to spend it in better functioning relationships.

AngryHerring · 10/05/2026 13:13

jealousy makes you ugly.

Bask in the glow that you are morally superior?

Or carry on doing what you do, you set a good example to your own kids, and you make your own way in life. That is something to be proud of.

waterrat · 10/05/2026 13:12

children get dla not pip. It's based on need and you have to supply supporting evidence

1000 a month would be the highest rate plus carers allowance so v unlikely.

Why would you be jealous of someone with a gambling problem? Sounds very sad to me

Avocadotoasted · 10/05/2026 13:12

Why are you only getting £200 UC if you earn £900 a month??

SapphOhNo · 10/05/2026 13:12

It's always the same with these goady posts. OP gets defensive when called out... shows true colours

0/10 OP

Maybe put time spent on mumsnet into your 'OU course'

Lifeomars · 10/05/2026 13:11

fast forward a few years and you will be qualified and doing a job you have studied hard to get and one which will have prospects. Your neighbour will be doing who knows what? Focus on living your life and following your plans. I had a friend years ago who was on benefits and seemed to live a life of luxury compared to mine, a nice home, a car, better clothes, expensive handbags and so on. Her boyfriend lived with her and worked but she did not declare he was there and then she confinded in me that she also had a sugar daddy! He was the source of the bags, the car, and her Rolex watch. So she was cheating the system and cheating on her boyfriend. Yes, she had more than me materially but I had peace of mind and no worries about it all falling apart, which it did when the bf found out about the sugar daddy.

TheZanyScroller · 10/05/2026 13:11

Why don't you ask her if you want to know so badly.

Backincontrol · 10/05/2026 13:11

@dgs21 it’s not fair, and it would be great for the government to crack down on those able to work but don’t.

However, why have you made your own life harder by getting pregnant again and having no partner on the seen?