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AIBU?

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Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

284 replies

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 11:46

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

OP posts:
Kirbert2 · 10/05/2026 15:28

Hoanna · 10/05/2026 15:26

  1. How do you know the son is not diagnosed? How can she just gets the money without papers
  2. Why you poison yourself with others affairs?
  3. What would happen if you lose your job? Are you ready for life on benefits

You don't need a diagnosis because it is based on care needs. You do need medical evidence.

But no one is claiming PIP for their child because it is 16+ only.

Greyhound98 · 10/05/2026 15:27

Never mind what your neighbour is upto.
Apply for DLA for your child. It’s assessed on their additional needs, not a diagnosis.

Hoanna · 10/05/2026 15:26
  1. How do you know the son is not diagnosed? How can she just gets the money without papers
  2. Why you poison yourself with others affairs?
  3. What would happen if you lose your job? Are you ready for life on benefits
Kirbert2 · 10/05/2026 15:24

If your ''friend'' told you that she gets PIP for her child then she is very confused because PIP is for adults, not children.

emuloc · 10/05/2026 15:24

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The juvenile name calling is so befitting of you OP. Have a nice Afternoon.

bonkersbongo · 10/05/2026 15:22

You don’t get pip for children under 18 . Just another benefit bashing thread

Nemorth · 10/05/2026 15:21

Legolaslady · 10/05/2026 11:58

The thing with people on benefits through their children though they are trapped in the system.
She will never better herself.. She cannot get promoted or apply for something better.
Eventually her child will leave home

You are just in a difficult time right now but your life is on an upward trajectory

Edited

And this. Loads of lovely comments.

Nemorth · 10/05/2026 15:21

sidneytweeney · 10/05/2026 11:55

If I were her, I’d be jealous of you OP. She’s sitting on her arse all day (allegedly) scamming the benefits system and achieving nothing other than some tats and a pretty garden. You, on the other hand are on your way to a respected career, working hard and setting an amazing example for your kids. You’re the winner here 🌸

And this.

BrightWolf · 10/05/2026 15:20

There’s no way she would be getting that much for a mildly, undiagnosed autistic son. Nor for her cough. Either she’s lying to you or you’re lying here. Disability benefits aren’t easy to get, I hate this idea people have that they are. I’ve helped a very ill family member apply, it wasn’t easy to get, even with all their evidence, and then as I’d been through the process with them I helped a friend with an autistic child - high needs, diagnosed and with evidence from school and medical professionals, and they didn’t as much as your friend is claiming she receives for her son.

Nemorth · 10/05/2026 15:20

Somesweetday · 10/05/2026 11:56

Instead of being jealous of her you should be proud of yourself. You are working hard to better your career prospects and ypu have ambition and aspirations.

By the sound of it she is on a downward spiral of ill health and no better future to look forward to.

@dgs21this is what you should remember.

B1anche · 10/05/2026 15:18

This is hilarious. Why would the OP aspire to be like that? A tattooed weed addict/alcoholic single parent who lives off benefits. Sounds like a dreadful life.

chocolateaddictions · 10/05/2026 15:17

she sounds hideous tbh. You are working to improve yourself and gain qualifications. You will always always be better than her and a better role model to your children than your tattoo covered weed smoking neighbour who isn’t contributing anything to society.

Blueblell · 10/05/2026 15:17

Why are you jealous? You are going to have a career with progression. Living on benefits is no fun even if the figures sound good.

SpiceGirlsNeedAComeBack · 10/05/2026 15:17

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God, you’re so dramatic.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 10/05/2026 15:16

sidneytweeney · 10/05/2026 11:55

If I were her, I’d be jealous of you OP. She’s sitting on her arse all day (allegedly) scamming the benefits system and achieving nothing other than some tats and a pretty garden. You, on the other hand are on your way to a respected career, working hard and setting an amazing example for your kids. You’re the winner here 🌸

@sidneytweeney is spot on here, @dgs21 - you are building a future for yourself and your children, whereas she will be stuck in the same life forever.

Legolaslady · 10/05/2026 15:16

If you work 24 hours a week surely you would be bringing home about £1200 a month??

LostTooManyScrews · 10/05/2026 15:16

YourWildAmberSloth · 10/05/2026 15:08

So basically you are both single parents and both receiving benefits. She won't be getting £1000 for her child's undiagnosed ASD, but if she is, you'll no doubt be entitled to the same once your son gets his diagnosis.

Dla can be claimed without a diagnosis.

Freddiesfortune · 10/05/2026 15:15

You aren’t honest IP - you said you were friends and she told you these things.
That didn’t happen
You dislike her as you now say.
You talk the big talk of “calling her out” - by misrepresenting your own relationship with her and lack of knowledge and to make it even WORSE you describe witnessing neglect and you haven’t “called her out” in person or to social services.
You are as much of a prize as this (honest guv she’s real) neighbour.
Big clap for working part-time. That’s all it takes to be noteworthy in your view then you are winning.
Or maybe report the issues you allegedly see to the appropriate authorities instead of the “weird” site you are on..

ShanghaiDiva · 10/05/2026 15:13

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Flounce number three…

TomatoSandwiches · 10/05/2026 15:12

Perhaps op is concerned she's going to end up just like her "friend?"

BetterWithPockets · 10/05/2026 15:10

OP, this thread was always going to go badly for you…
I think we absolutely need to be able to have conversations where, no matter our personal feelings, we admit the complexity of the situation. I know a lot of people work really hard for not much money. I know a lot of people who rely on benefits struggle to live on them. I know some people (and companies) abuse the system — either by claiming benefits they’re not entitled to or not paying enough/any tax. I also know tax evasion costs the government more money than benefit fraud — but that doesn’t make either okay. I think it’s okay to say that, personally — or ought to be.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 10/05/2026 15:09

YourWildAmberSloth · 10/05/2026 15:08

So basically you are both single parents and both receiving benefits. She won't be getting £1000 for her child's undiagnosed ASD, but if she is, you'll no doubt be entitled to the same once your son gets his diagnosis.

Both single parents but given OP is pregnant, she is presumably going to be claiming more anyway and won’t be able to work for a while.

YourWildAmberSloth · 10/05/2026 15:08

So basically you are both single parents and both receiving benefits. She won't be getting £1000 for her child's undiagnosed ASD, but if she is, you'll no doubt be entitled to the same once your son gets his diagnosis.

ChristmasCwtch · 10/05/2026 15:07

Don’t be jealous of someone like that, OP!

I thought you were going to say she’s elegant and beauty with an amazing career and perfect children 😂

TomatoSandwiches · 10/05/2026 15:03

It was quite clear you were never friends with your neighbour op, your posts reek of bitterness.