Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

is it the drug addiction or the alcohol addiction you are jealous of op?

if so alcohol is probably cheaper than drugs to get addicted to if you want an addiction.

Not quite the point of your thread OP but what the hell is going on with your dispenser course? Why is this being done outside of work hours and why is it taking you 3 years to complete? Unless I've misunderstood what you have said, this isn't right and is taking up a big chunk of your time when it absolutely shouldn't.

I think the neighbour is talking out of her arse. The highest child DLA you can get is about 750 quid and you would need to prove the child has both night time care needs which requite supervision/personal care and is virtually unable to walk and/or has severe mental impairment, of which you have to submit a tonne of evidence from highly qualified professionals to prove the SMI/not being able to walk.

This is bullshit. I wish people wouldn't start these threads without bothering to do their research first. It may well be 'what the neighbour has said' 🤔, but this just makes the OP come across like they are pedalling bullshit to rage bait. It's better to get the facts first surely?

She'll be referring to the disability element on uc. Along with dla, her child will be entitled to the extra element which will bring it up to 1000 easy.
You'd hate me too then. I've 3 Autistic children with dcd and pda and gdd and also single.
I get £5,000 a month. Would you trade places with me, no you wouldn't.
I dont have to work but I spend my time during the day trying to catch up on sleep whilst being on call to the schools to collect early, children on reduced timetables etc. I have no life.
I actually believe people are jealous now of any child with a disability as they are aware of the extra financial support you get for them. You have no idea what she goes through with her child and you need evidence for claims.
Would I choose this for me and my children. NO.
Be careful what you are envious of, being pregnant yourself.
If she wants to plant flowers to cheer herself up, as she home all day and is the one who looks at them, leave her alone.

It's DLA for children, not PIP. It's based on care needs, not diagnosis but if it is deemed that his care needs aren't high enough due to evidence provided that it would be denied anyway.

Plenty of children with severe needs are denied first time around, some have to go all the way to tribunal.

She doesn’t get PIP for her 12 year old and if his “mild autism” isn’t affecting his day to day life that much, he won’t be entitled to much in the way of financial support.

You clearly don’t like your neighbour so the best thing you can do for both your sakes is not engage and get on with your lives.

I started claiming DLA for my son in 2024 which isn't that long ago and my experience is similar to pp.

A diagnosis isn't required but medical evidence is. You can't just say whatever you like on the forms no questions asked, they expect evidence to back up what is said on the forms.

£300 at home bargains in a week!!! Wow.

You are working hard to improve your situation. You have no control over her poor choices. Just concentrate on your own self improvement and ignore her.

I had a friend like this that I went to school with. She existed on benefits while only ever working part time and living in a council house, in the middle of a very large LA estate. She had her children over a very wide span of time, so was supported mostly by the state for a really long time. For a long time she had a better standard of living than me. I worked full-time, had a longish commute, had a child minder, was always exhausted etc etc.

However, now we're older, her children are all over 18 and financially, her life looks a lot worse than mine. I'm reasonably comfortable and now I don't have to dash around like a blue arsed fly with childminders, pick up times, covering school hols etc, my life is definitely preferable.

We started at the same level at school. Neither of us did well, but I got my education as an adult and then retrained again later. She's still at the level she was at 20. I think overall I've done better.

I’m not sure why you are considering pip for your child? 🤔 unless his autism affects his every day living it’s really not appropriate to claim. You say he’s not “high” on the spectrum (I’m summising from that, that he’s low need?) so he doesn’t automatically qualify for it as he has a diagnosis.

I work my arse off, as does my partner. Our neighbour sits on her backside all day. Her daughter is 19 and still lives at home, but no ND in play.

Neighbour used to abuse prescription medicines, (many years ago, long before we knew her) and only works 1 hour a week. She is also an alcoholic and fell off the wagon about two years ago. We know all this because we all got on really well before she fell off the wagon.

She's now become nasty, abusive, blasts music all day long. I'm not able to sleep because of it. Yet somehow she's got the money for a whole new back and front garden, new sofa, just bought her daughter a car, and mother and daughter are always coming home with bags of shopping. She also gets her bins professionally cleaned every week, plus her windows cleaned.

I'm not jealous though. Her life seems really sad. She has no life skills, no career, and clearly doesn't make her own money. I envy her having all that free time while I work all day, but I'd rather be self sufficient.

OP , her life will never change and in a few years time when her eldest child hits 17 her income will fall dramatically whilst yours will continue to rise. If i was you i would hang on to that.🌺

Your thread title makes it clear you are jealous of this woman. When the thread doesn’t go the way you expected, you are portraying her in the most negative light possible.

So tell us again why you would be jealous of her if she is so awful?

😆

Yep this! And it's jobs that need to be paid more, not benefits that need reducing.

You could argue that if people are better off on benefits than working, it’s the system that needs to be looked at.

Our aspirations really need to change in the UK. Now we're jealous of neighbours who get £2k in UC and other benefits while she spends her day smoking and not working.....

But OP thinks she is morally in the right apparently because her neighbour is claiming benefits.

Even though she is claiming herself and will be having a baby so that will delay being able to support herself further.

Literally not a lie at all. My sister hasn't even had the results from her sons Autism test and is already claiming.
I am so sorry they made you jump through all those hoops to get help for your child.
Maybe it's a post code lottery because there is absolutely no sign of that here. And yes the mums at the school are talking openly about this and even offering to help eachother fill in the forms. I'm wondering if made your claim years ago when there was less people claiming. There is no way the NHS would offer all those tests now if you think about this logically.

"Am I being unreasonable"
"Yes"
"You bunch of weirdos"

...why ask??

Jealousy is an ugly emotion, childish and achieves nothing.

I know you would not want to be you neighbour! You will be a well qualified person before too long, have more money and a more fulfilling life. She will be in the same position. Think on that.

The only thing that surprises me about this scenario is you being pregnant. You do not know how you are going to feel with a young baby and no partner as well as your older child.

Honestly, time and time again Mumsnet posts show that it is a very bad idea to discuss your personal incomes, and sources, with anybody.

They don’t.
My child is profoundly autistic. He’s non verbal, incontinent, has absolutely no danger awareness so cannot be left alone for even the time it takes me to pee. He doesn’t get £1000 per month in DLA.

My friend is a dispensing chemist and I thought the same.

id not be jealous of a person with a gambling problem

The people who dispense in my pharmacy are lovely and intelligent. They need to dispense medicines to people from all walks of life and be non-judgemental. Are you sure this is the right fit for you?