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AIBU?

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Aibu to feel jealous of my neighbour

284 replies

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 11:46

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

OP posts:
DeskGnome · 10/05/2026 12:09

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:08

I also receive UC and housing benefit based on my income so not bashing at all

No, of course you're not 🤣🤣

BatchCookBabe · 10/05/2026 12:09

DeskGnome · 10/05/2026 12:08

You made your own bed so you'll need to lie in it.

If you think her life looks better, then do what she's doing.

But starting the zillionth benefit bashing thread won't help your predicament 🤷‍♂️

This. ^

TomatoSandwiches · 10/05/2026 12:09

In the senario you've written I don't see any reason to be jealous of your neighbour, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and look at what you are achieving, change your perspective.

Legolaslady · 10/05/2026 12:09

How many hours a week do you work?

Locutus2000 · 10/05/2026 12:09

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:08

I also receive UC and housing benefit based on my income so not bashing at all

Claiming to also receive benefits doesn't change the nasty tone of your posts.

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:09

MerryGuide · 10/05/2026 12:08

How do you earn so little working 4 days a week? Even minimum wage full would be about £1.6k so thats a lot of deductions

I work 2-8pm and do my course unpaid from 9:30-1:30

OP posts:
DeskGnome · 10/05/2026 12:09

PurpleLovecats · 10/05/2026 12:05

I think she’s talking shit. PIP is an adult benefit for a start isn’t it?

Well someone certainly is...

Locutus2000 · 10/05/2026 12:08

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:04

I didn’t say I want to aspire to be like her? I’m just starting to resent her because she seems to have everything SHE wants in life without working for it when I don’t have what I want in life while working, no part of me wants to be like her

Here we go, yet again.

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:08

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:08

Because she’s told me?

I also receive UC and housing benefit based on my income so not bashing at all

OP posts:
DeskGnome · 10/05/2026 12:08

You made your own bed so you'll need to lie in it.

If you think her life looks better, then do what she's doing.

But starting the zillionth benefit bashing thread won't help your predicament 🤷‍♂️

Locutus2000 · 10/05/2026 12:08

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 11:46

We’re both single parents, she has 2 children aged 12 and 2. I have an 8yo and one on the way.

We’ve both lived in our houses for the same amount of time around 8 years so I know her quite well. I work 4 days a week until 8pm plus over time, I do a course alongside my job as I work in pharmacy and have to complete a 3 year course so I can be a qualified dispenser and hoping to go to uni next year. I’m working really hard and don’t seem to have any time or money to keep my house, garden and even myself in check as I’m always working and paying bills/food/driving lessons/daughter etc. I earn around £900 a month plus £200 UC. My 8yo is being assessed for autism and ADHD but I feel like I shouldn’t apply for PIP until she’s officially diagnosed as she’s not too high on the spectrum.

my next door neighbour hasn’t worked a day since I’ve known her, she told me a few years ago it’s because she “coughs too much”, she is constantly smoking weed. She receives over £1,000 a month for he 12yo because he is mildly autistic but undiagnosed atm and told me she actually exaggerated his symptoms to get more money, plus the other benefits she gets. She gets around £2,000 a month in total. Since she has started receiving the PIP for her son, she has covered herself in tattoos, her front and back garden has transformed and is full of flowers which she has said she spent £300 at home bargains last week, she gambles on gambling apps and has spent over £100 in one day, and just in general spends allot of money on herself and her house and has all day everyday to do this.

(forgot to mention I receive housing benefit too based on my income each month)

ABIU to be feeling jealous, we’ve got along quite well the past few years but am now starting to resent her, I’m even thinking of moving house so I don’t have to see her everyday

Here we go, yet again.

MerryGuide · 10/05/2026 12:08

How do you earn so little working 4 days a week? Even minimum wage full would be about £1.6k so thats a lot of deductions

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:08

BatchCookBabe · 10/05/2026 12:07

I always find it fascinating how the OP's on these benefit bashing threads know EXACTLY what Julie over the road gets from the state. It's quite incredible. Every last penny they seem to know about. Hmm

Because she’s told me?

OP posts:
BatchCookBabe · 10/05/2026 12:07

I always find it fascinating how the OP's on these benefit bashing threads know EXACTLY what Julie over the road gets from the state. It's quite incredible. Every last penny they seem to know about. Hmm

Legolaslady · 10/05/2026 12:05

She probably does get £1k for a disabled child

That money could be changed or taken away at anytime
And one day he will grow up and leave home and she will lose it all

BatchCookBabe · 10/05/2026 12:05

Hmmmmmmmmm.

redfishcat · 10/05/2026 12:05

And the money will all stop when her kids are 18. Nothing to be jealous of.

PurpleLovecats · 10/05/2026 12:05

I think she’s talking shit. PIP is an adult benefit for a start isn’t it?

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:04

Newmeagain · 10/05/2026 12:04

I definitely don’t think your neighbour’s lifestyle is anything to aspire to.

But how are you going to go to uni if you are pregnant again? Are you hoping to become a pharmacist? Good luck.

Open uni

OP posts:
dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:04

RoastLambs · 10/05/2026 12:02

Why don’t you make some changes in your own life so you are on a more equal footing if you are jealous of her life.

Stop studying and working and go on UC. Smoke some weed so that you too can get a cough and more money. It must be easy. Then get some tattoos.

It’s not necessarily a life that most people would be aspiring to but if that’s your dream, then push yourself to achieve it.

I didn’t say I want to aspire to be like her? I’m just starting to resent her because she seems to have everything SHE wants in life without working for it when I don’t have what I want in life while working, no part of me wants to be like her

OP posts:
Newmeagain · 10/05/2026 12:04

I definitely don’t think your neighbour’s lifestyle is anything to aspire to.

But how are you going to go to uni if you are pregnant again? Are you hoping to become a pharmacist? Good luck.

dgs21 · 10/05/2026 12:02

MidnightPatrol · 10/05/2026 11:54

I doubt she’s getting £1,000 for one child?

Im just going off what she’s told me

OP posts:
Threeslothsontheshirt · 10/05/2026 12:02

What a depressing set-up to be jealous of. Jealous of a wheezing cough caused by smoking weed?

RoastLambs · 10/05/2026 12:02

Why don’t you make some changes in your own life so you are on a more equal footing if you are jealous of her life.

Stop studying and working and go on UC. Smoke some weed so that you too can get a cough and more money. It must be easy. Then get some tattoos.

It’s not necessarily a life that most people would be aspiring to but if that’s your dream, then push yourself to achieve it.

AmberSpy · 10/05/2026 11:59

You're going to be a qualified dispenser who's been to university and had an interesting and important career that helps people. You will have a private pension which affords you a good quality of life when you retire. Your children will grow up with the example of a hardworking mother, which will hopefully inspire them to work hard and pursue careers themselves. As a qualified professional you will not be dependent on state benefits, meaning that if a hardline government ever gets into power and starts slashing UC, you will be insulated from this.

She has drug issues and her children will not have the benefit of growing up with an inspirational hardworking parent. If a hardline government ever does decide to slash benefits she will be very vulnerable. She will quite likely retire on a meagre state pension with little or no private top-up.

Having said all that, the thing about her receiving 1k a month for a 12 year old who hasn't been diagnosed sounds like bollocks to me - surely that's not true?