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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to feel hurt about my daughter’s wedding plans changing

189 replies

Mimimummygranny · 10/05/2026 08:05

My daughter had arranged her wedding for later this year, then cancelled, telling me by text. Now it’s a small wedding with only two witnesses and at 11 days notice I’m invited to a late lunch hosted by her partner’s mother.
I’m hurt and can’t believe she expects me to drop my work and other commitments (missing a medical appointment) at such short notice.
I don’t want to be unreasonable …..

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Blondeshavemorefun · 28/05/2026 16:53

Mimimummygranny · 28/05/2026 05:19

Thank you to all who answered with thoughtful suggestions, some of which have changed the way I think and feel.

To those venomous few, take care, especially of yourself.

I attended the lunch and had a lovely time.

So are they married now?

Glad you went to the lunch and had a nice time

sittingonabeach · 28/05/2026 08:38

@Mimimummygranny glad you had a nice time.

Did they ever explain the change of plans?

ScribblingPixie · 28/05/2026 07:34

Pleased you went along and enjoyed it, OP. Definitely the right thing to swallow your disappointment and go with the flow.

Original poster
Mimimummygranny · 28/05/2026 05:19

Thank you to all who answered with thoughtful suggestions, some of which have changed the way I think and feel.

To those venomous few, take care, especially of yourself.

I attended the lunch and had a lovely time.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mimimummygranny · 28/05/2026 05:12

I’m new here. The posts decrying me for having only one post are really more indicative of the state of mind of these sad people. Curb your criticism. You know not what you do.

OP posts:
loryN22 · 25/05/2026 12:58

Mimimummygranny · 10/05/2026 08:05

My daughter had arranged her wedding for later this year, then cancelled, telling me by text. Now it’s a small wedding with only two witnesses and at 11 days notice I’m invited to a late lunch hosted by her partner’s mother.
I’m hurt and can’t believe she expects me to drop my work and other commitments (missing a medical appointment) at such short notice.
I don’t want to be unreasonable …..

You can feel hurt and still accept it’s their wedding, both can be true. Usually the pain is less about the plan changing and more about quietly realizing your role changed too. Feel it, just don’t make them carry it.

susiedaisy1912 · 14/05/2026 08:36

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Dinggirl · 12/05/2026 07:44

Sadmamaof2 · 10/05/2026 13:28

This is gross imo

Why shouldn't they be told first and offer to host it if theyre closer, is it absolute law that the woman's parents must be the only ones involved and the mans parents be cast aside?

God forbid people have a close and good relationship with their son and future DIL

Show quote history

Gross is a bit strong...but on re-reading my comment I can see how it comes across, I do sound like a controlling mum which I am most certainly not, more the other way if anything.

but come on....the OP was presented with this as a fait accompli with 11 days' notice, when she has to get time off work etc. I KNOW it's up to the bride and groom to do what they want with their wedding and there's nothing wrong with letting groom's family know first, groom's family hosting etc. But I can't believe you wouldn't be a bit hurt if this was your daughter. FWIW my own daughter loves her MiL and so do I! But her MiL would never agree to this without finding out if I were ok with it too. It's called being considerate. I'd never, ever let my son and DiL do this without her parents knowing either! If the bride and groom want family involved then they need to consider them too

Lobelia123 · 11/05/2026 07:55

Dont let your feelings of disappointment and ego overwhelm you so that you turn this into something thats all about you. Really the only question you need to answer for yourself, is do you want to be at your daughters wedding, no matter what date, shape or form it may be? Yes or no?

Ifallelsefails · 11/05/2026 01:34

Is there a back story to this? How do you & your daughter get on & whose fault is it in your eyes?

justasking111 · 10/05/2026 23:42

MNBV221 · 10/05/2026 22:57

Similar posting style to the "I'm a surrogate and parents have changed their minds" and "Orchid kid" threads. Only one OP post on those too

I think someone was in a creative mood yesterday...

Show quote history

Yep lazy trolling

MNBV221 · 10/05/2026 22:57

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 10/05/2026 22:14

174 posts and One of them is the OP's.

Similar posting style to the "I'm a surrogate and parents have changed their minds" and "Orchid kid" threads. Only one OP post on those too

I think someone was in a creative mood yesterday...

Advocodo · 10/05/2026 22:44

sittingonabeach · 10/05/2026 19:22

@Advocodo but would you be concerned if they had suddenly changed their plans and not given any previous indication that they were doing this?

Yes I expect so but I would think that maybe th3 organising of the wedding was getting to her and the cost of it.

DoYouLikeYourNaneFred · 10/05/2026 22:14

174 posts and One of them is the OP's.

HoldMyWine · 10/05/2026 22:07

justasking111 · 10/05/2026 14:39

OP posted at 8am and vanished. Another bot post?

Definitely

Mumtobabyhavoc · 10/05/2026 21:53

measuretwicecutonce · 10/05/2026 20:02

Why are people still replying to this thread! OP posted this morning and hasn’t been back!

And.....? 🙄

Buffs · 10/05/2026 20:53

It’s her wedding and if for whatever reason that is what she wants then I would do my absolute best to accommodate her and with good grace.

wheresthesnowgone · 10/05/2026 20:50

She must have a VERY good reason for changing all her plans and rescheduling at such short notice. Presumably you know why she's done this and be able to sympathise and hopefully reschedule your medical appointment.

Namingbaba · 10/05/2026 20:09

I think the issue is communication. Surely you’d call or speak face to face to important people in your lives about this. You’d expect questions.

measuretwicecutonce · 10/05/2026 20:02

Why are people still replying to this thread! OP posted this morning and hasn’t been back!

Mayflower282 · 10/05/2026 19:51

its okay to be upset and sad. But whatever you do don’t kick up a fuss! It’s likely she is pregnant or something and will announce it after the wedding! You don’t want to cause trouble and that affect your grandparenting involvement etc

rwalker · 10/05/2026 19:43

Woman I used to work with did this
said the key thing was they wanted to be married and it had all snowballed into a massive event costing a fortune that she wasn’t bothered about but just doing it to please others
the catalyst was a family argument about invites

SallyDraperGetInHere · 10/05/2026 19:25

I imagine someone in the partner’s family has just got bad news.

sittingonabeach · 10/05/2026 19:22

@Advocodo but would you be concerned if they had suddenly changed their plans and not given any previous indication that they were doing this?

Advocodo · 10/05/2026 19:04

I’d be delighted if one of my children chose such a low key wedding.