AIBU to think a real friend would not make hurtful jokes?

I’ve had to learn the hard way with a “friend” like this. You don’t trust her. It looks like you have trusted her with things and you’re worried about her outing you.

A nice step back wouldn’t be a bad thing for you. Manipulative people often try to hold things against you so you’ll stay in your place, the verbal punch bag they need.

She doesn’t sound like a true friend to me. Sounds like she takes pleasure inflicting pain on you.

If you gave her a taste of her own medicine followed up by just kidding, I would bet she wouldn’t like it/get angry/or call you mean.
usually how these types are

I'm more interested in the fact that you sound like a doormat and have never spoken up.
It's perfectly possible that your view is correct, in which case you could good-humoredly ask her to stop. Or start a fight with her, if you prefer.
But it's also perfectly possible that you may be very thin-skinned, that you take umbrage where none is intended, and she has no idea that you're bothered because you have given her no indication. Also possible that maybe she's appalled by your appearance and is playfully trying to give you some hints.

You've known her two years. That's not long enough to try and make this work.

I would drop her. You are worth more than this. I wish I'd learned this when I was much younger, but I've finally learned not to let anyone treat me like rubbish. I'd rather have no friends at all.

That is how I view it, but apparently some on MN never matured further than about the age of 12. There is always so much drama - how does anyone have the time?

Enemies treat people how this loser treats you OP.

A real friend wouldn't make hurtful remarks.
I had a " friend" like this all the way through secondary school. Looking back, I don't know why I put up with it. Life has been so much more pleasant without her in it.

@ThatLilacHedgehog
You deserve so much better than this "friend"
I have a term for people like that - a Smiling Assassin.
She knows stuff about you?
If she tells anyone, deny with a knowing smile "sounds like sour grapes as I've had to take a step back from our friendship"
❤️

Just back off and let her find someone else to mock in order to make herself feel better.

Life's too short for that shit.

She sounds awful, you will be well rid. Friends are supposed to build you up and jokes are supposed to be funny

Look friendship is simple.

If a friend makes you feel good and happy then you've got a real friendship.

If thry make you unhappy, unsure of yourself, confused or annoyed then you don't need them in your life.

Actually there is, if both parties are in on it. My friends and I rip the piss out of each other (but would defend each other to the death to an outsider). We are however careful not to step over various lines because we don’t actually want to offend each other.

I had a "friend" like this. Except it related to my disabilities. She has one that I have, manages well and doesn't understand why I don't. The final straw came when I'd found out that I had a serious birth defect. She told me she'd never heard of it and then asked how my parents had no idea how I had it. (Because I had 2 known symptoms which can be genetic and not always the cause of a serious underlying health condition) She would, bizarrely take great pleasure in telling me how the assistance she gets on the train is wonderful and doesn't understand why I struggle so much

I unfriended her. We know each other through a Facebook group. She'd noticed I'd gone quiet, claimed to be worried about me but didn't know how to contact me apparently? The same abelist bullshit continued from her so I just blocked her

There is no "love language" which includes insulting your friends.

Why on earth are you laughing it off? Surely you know this is not friendship. Tell her to give it a rest or get lost.

She is not a friend, she makes hurtful comments and you worry she will tell everyone your business, you should be able to trust a friend.

Phase her out is probably the safest way to end friendship if you are worried. Answer texts more slowly be less available to see her so visits get further apart. Hopefully she moves on to someone else.

So pull away slowly. Be busy. Make stuff up about yourself that you know no-one else would believe.

What is it that she knows that is so bad? Unless we’re talking “She knows where I buried my ex’s corpse AND she has a murder weapon with my prints on it” level, I would ditch her.

What are the comments she’s making?

You’re not good friends because one of you makes the other miserable. That’s what enemies do, not friends. Two years isn’t a long friendship but it is a long campaign of subtle bullying and nastiness to endure, so don’t put up with it, bin her.

Sounds like a horrible twat. Also sounds like she might be envious of something you have, or she’s jealous. Either way, she’s trying to bring you down to where she thinks you should be

I had one of these,OP. Put up with it for twenty plus years before I saw sense and dispensed.
It doesn't get any better,believe me- get rid.