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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To buy house for children this way

40 replies

creando · 09/05/2026 19:06

just wondering about this, could be a non starter BUT my daughter (21) just graduated and wanting to move in with boyfriend. She’s always been a hard worker, has had jobs since 16 etc. I am not keen on her renting as it’s more costly that purchasing and house would also go up in value. She has a LISA and some money saved however her choice of profession is freelance so she wouldn’t have mortgageable accounts for a few years yet. We are not rich by any stretch but we have a lot of equity on our house. We’re both keen to help out but 2nd home tax is a worry. Could one of us take our name OFF our mortgage to purchase house for DD? Is this even a thing?

OP posts:
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Happyjoe · 09/05/2026 23:52

Only do this if you're in a position to be able to afford a few thousand if it all goes belly up. Even if she needs to sell, she may find herself in a position (hopefully not) where she couldn't meet the mortgage payments and bills while it's on the market and that could take months, if not over a year to sell a home.

To be honest, I'd wait a couple of years, see how she gets on because things can change a lot at that age while they find their feet. Pleased that not reliant on the partner for any of it, all this should be worked out as if she was on her own, despite any rent he pays.

asil1990 · 09/05/2026 23:31

Have a look at joint borrower, sole proprietor offerings. They allow up to 4 people to be named on the mortgage for income purposes but the property remains in sole name.

Pineconesandchocolate · 09/05/2026 23:31

@creando @Nevertwayne

I think the mortgage Nevertwayne is referring to is the Barclays Springboard mortgage

www.barclays.co.uk/mortgages/family-springboard-mortgage/

MeridaBrave · 09/05/2026 23:24

i am confused why you’d take your name off your mortgage and how that would help.

Divebar2021 · 09/05/2026 23:21

Is there nothing that parents won’t manage for their children now. There’s actually a benefit from a bit of struggle you know. You just want to smooth all the bumps and I think it denies them the opportunity to work things out for themselves. Stifling.

Theyreeatingthedogs · 09/05/2026 23:16

SourdoughSally · 09/05/2026 19:20

I think if you're married then it doesn't matter who's on the mortgage, you both own it so any property would count as a second home

This.

pavillion1 · 09/05/2026 22:58

Skipton is good for 1st time buyers

TangfasticAddict · 09/05/2026 22:55

Have to agree with other posters. I was your daughter, pressured into buying at 20, when renting would have been best. I split with my then boyfriend a year later, and was left with a load of debt from the fallout.

She can keep her savings intact and rent a small flat to see how she gets on with her boyfriend for a year or two, then revisit. And with current mortgage rates, I don’t think renting is the ‘dead money’ everyone claims it to be.

KittyEckersley · 09/05/2026 22:14

Mortgages are very expensive at the moment so renting isn’t as bad value as it was a few years ago. I think best to wait a few years. I bought fairly young but we’ve had to move because we’ve got a child and need somewhere with good schools and closer to our work now.

Bimblebombles · 09/05/2026 22:06

What about investing the savings in another way to provide her with some income which can then offset some of the cost of her renting for a while.

I’m thinking of friends of mine off the top of my head. We’re all late 30s now. Three got married young and are now divorced, two others didn’t meet their stable partner until later in their twenties, one was with a bf from age 15 but realised she wanted more from life and they split mid twenties, only one is still with the person they were with age 21. Life is so fluid around that age. The chances are quite high that her relationship won’t go the distance. I’d rent if I were her and revisit buying if either a) marriage is on the cards or b) she’s single.

TootsMaHoots · 09/05/2026 22:05

My dd is 22 and has a proper job and I wouldn’t want her to start buying a house now. I feel like she needs a couple of years to decide what she wants to do and where she wants to live.

Bigcat25 · 09/05/2026 21:07

She's very young to have a mortgage. They haven't even tried living together yet.

Pistachiocake · 09/05/2026 20:57

I'd get legal advice. I obviously don't know your daughter or her partner, but I could see difficulties. Is it just her house? If so, he might, quite understandably worry, because when he does any work/pays any bills, is he losing money if they split in the future? And if it's both his and hers, are you ok with him having half if they split? And isn't it a bad thing to have to talk about splitting when you're starting out, at that happy innocent phase? I know rich people have alwyas had to worry about prenuptials, but when a young couple start out, assuming they earn the same, they can each put half in and no problems.
You could maybe give them the money in the future, say if they've got kids etc, so you don't taint this phase, though I know you're trying to help.

Youcancallmeirrelevant · 09/05/2026 20:46

I'd advise them to rent first to decide where they want to live
One or both may get a job opportunity and need to move cities etc and that's much easier at their age if renting.

Plenty of time to buy and settle down

EffinMagicFairy · 09/05/2026 20:41

Nat West are offering parental guarantee mortgages, we are looking at doing similar.

HamBap · 09/05/2026 20:40

There are no easy ways around it, speak to a FA.

I disagree with those saying a mortgage at 21 is a bad idea. I'd say get on the property ladder asap, never understood all these people who are FTB at 39, what have they been doing for the last decade? Paying someone else's mortgage that's what. If they're settled in one place with a secure job, buy the most modest thing they can afford, better than renting IME.

SpanThatWorld · 09/05/2026 20:38

I bought a flat at 22 with my mum as guarantor but with the expectation that my BF would live with me and pay towards it.
Then we broke up.

That flat was an albatross round my neck and kept me stuck in an area and a career that I no longer wanted.
Couldn't go travelling when friends did.
Couldn't afford all sorts of stuff that my friends were doing in their 20s.
Couldn't retrain when the opportunity came up.

My eldest graduated a couple of years ago. Since then he has moved back and forth between uni city and home city, lived with girlfriend, best friend, various combinations of friends and had a lovely social life. He's had the opportunity to do short term work placements here and there while he's been deciding what to do. Now has a steady job with a potential for a good career and is sharing in a different place with another couple of friends.
He isn't trapped in a flat watching his friends explore their options while they can

creando · 09/05/2026 20:37

Thanks all - to clarify a few points, she’s keen to purchase and use her money wisely so if we can help I’m happy to do so. The house would be hers. It’s possible to bf might also purchase separately as he is a saver also and his parents will assist. They have both travelled extensively during holidays (se Asia, oz etc). She will want to stay here and pursue her chosen career. Obvs there’s every chance they may not last but if she has a house that’s security for her. DH and I were very lucky to get on the housing market early and our first house cost buttons - we want to support her in any way we can as she will not have the same opportunities as we had.

OP posts:
bingbong8691 · 09/05/2026 20:11

I tried doing this with my mum a few years ago. She owned her house outright, so there were no issues with equity or an existing mortgage.

The problem came when we approached the bank for a guarantor mortgage. Because of my mum’s age (56 at the time), the lender would only offer the mortgage over a much shorter term. They had a policy that the mortgage had to end by age 70, which meant the term was 14 years.

As a result, the monthly repayments became far too expensive.

BeardySchnauzer · 09/05/2026 20:11

I think you need to think beyond the financials tbh. Give your daughter a couple of years renting with her boyfriend - it gives them an equal footing and it means she has to take responsibility for her housing completely

if you part own there is going to be an imbalance with her boyfriend. If something goes wrong she’ll be on the phone to you. You may not think you are overbearing but maybe that shared ownership will create a little rift.

ThaneOfGlamis · 09/05/2026 20:10

I wouldn't have wanted a mortgage at 21. What if she decides to go travelling in a year or two, or move miles away for work. Young people are also potentially more likely to split up, so what if you guarantor and he buggers off without paying his half of the mortgage? It can be a bit of a mill stone so young. Also, you say you aren't keen for her to rent, but what does she think?

creando · 09/05/2026 20:08

House not flat on fringe of very sought after area

OP posts:
creando · 09/05/2026 20:07

MaidsRoom · 09/05/2026 19:34

OP you sound a bit naive about the property market. Houses and flats don't always go up in value, as people who own flats right now and have lost money over ten years are discovering. Stamp duty is very high and so are the other costs of moving. If your daughter thinks there’s any possibility she might want to move elsewhere within three or four years (and how many 22 year olds are really ready to settle down?) then buying is a terrible idea which is likely to lose her money.

RE your husband buying it for her - it would still count as a second home for tax purposes as he wouldn’t live in it, and because he would still be married to a homeowner. So 5% extra stamp duty, capital gains tax etc.

Not naive at all, but just unsure about this aspect of the market. Trying to look at best option for my child. Rent doesn’t make sense when she’s saved for a good deposit. It just seems like a bit of a waste but I do take your points on board and appreciate you posting

OP posts:
NorthFacingGardener · 09/05/2026 19:58

You also have to factor in that if she/you sell in 2-3 years the estate agent and conveyancing fees will probably be more than any potential increase in property value.

Bimblebombles · 09/05/2026 19:58

I’d let her rent somewhere with him together and see how they get on. It may be the making of them and they realise they do want to put roots down together and buy in a couple of years, in which case he should have equal opportunity to begin the investment too, or living together might uncover problems and they break up and can both walk away easily from renting.

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