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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a widely understood unwritten rule?

344 replies

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 16:41

At a birthday party and as I was dropping off the present with the others another mum noticed we hadn't written on the gift tag. She asked if I wanted a pen so I could write on it and I politely explained I never write on the gift tag so the bag can easily be reused (this one was actually already being reused probably from my own child's party).

She thought this was completely bizarre and genuinely didn't seem to be able to comprehend that this was quite normal behaviour.

She continued to repeat of course you write on the tag that's why its there and how would they know who the gifts was from (I did say the card was in the bag). She seemed stuck on a loop even asking others nearby if they had heard of people doing this before. It not me is it? This is not weird, most people don't write on the tags so the bags can be reused?

OP posts:
SandwichSuperstar · 09/05/2026 18:53

mumofoneAloneandwell · 09/05/2026 18:47

I write on the tag - I spent more than £1 on a bag for you, you are NOT free to regift it!! 😤😤

The woman was weird for polling the audience though 😄

They're free to do whatever they want with it since it's theirs 😳

And obviously they'll remove the tag.

Blanketsandcurlers · 09/05/2026 18:53

The tag is usually detachable , so the recipient can reuse the bag if they wish by attaching another, loose tag?

likelysuspect · 09/05/2026 18:53

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:45

I'm not rigid I've explained my thought process that I feel people are more likely to reuse if it's not been written on. I am not adverse to writing on a tag. It seems pretty normal from this thread for most to reuse the bags and many also don't write on the tags.

It's honestly mad that it's descended into someone trying to diagnose me. Confused

Well forgive us but the title of your thread is 'AIBU to think this is a widely understood unwritten rule' about writing on the tag

And the answer is no, its not a widely understood unwritten rule

And then you're arguing about that but muddying the waters by now including the 'rule' being to reuse the bag

Reusing the bag, not unusual
Not writing on the tag BECAUSE you assume the recipient wants to reuse the bag, not usual.
Arguing with someone about it, unusual.

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:51

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/05/2026 18:49

It seems a bit rigid to say that this is an unwritten rule, @GiftTag. As I said earlier - it is one valid choice, but there is another, equally valid choice - writing on the gift tag, in the knowledge that the tag can be removed, and another tag used next time the bag is used. Neither is wrong.

100% yes

Flamingojune · 09/05/2026 18:51

Yes its the unwritten rule thing. Its assuming your way is correct

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:51

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:48

If you think it all so odd then why bother to continue to comment?

I never claimed this was a serious thread. Like most threads on here it's just something to chat about.

Show quote history

Since when is finding something odd meaning you don’t comment or aren’t interest in watching the thread unfold?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/05/2026 18:49

It seems a bit rigid to say that this is an unwritten rule, @GiftTag. As I said earlier - it is one valid choice, but there is another, equally valid choice - writing on the gift tag, in the knowledge that the tag can be removed, and another tag used next time the bag is used. Neither is wrong.

Original poster
GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:48

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:46

Yup

even the idea of this being an unwritten rule is just plain odd. Just one of the many things odd about this scenario

Show quote history

If you think it all so odd then why bother to continue to comment?

I never claimed this was a serious thread. Like most threads on here it's just something to chat about.

OP posts:
mumofoneAloneandwell · 09/05/2026 18:47

I write on the tag - I spent more than £1 on a bag for you, you are NOT free to regift it!! 😤😤

The woman was weird for polling the audience though 😄

XenoBitch · 09/05/2026 18:47

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:45

I'm not rigid I've explained my thought process that I feel people are more likely to reuse if it's not been written on. I am not adverse to writing on a tag. It seems pretty normal from this thread for most to reuse the bags and many also don't write on the tags.

It's honestly mad that it's descended into someone trying to diagnose me. Confused

Yep, it is really weird.
Make sure you ask your GP about an assessment, and tell them why. MN post about gift tags 😂

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:47

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:45

I'm not rigid I've explained my thought process that I feel people are more likely to reuse if it's not been written on. I am not adverse to writing on a tag. It seems pretty normal from this thread for most to reuse the bags and many also don't write on the tags.

It's honestly mad that it's descended into someone trying to diagnose me. Confused

Asked a question.

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:46

LBFseBrom · 09/05/2026 18:45

I agree.

Write on the tag next time, the bag can still be used with a new tag or a card. That's what most people do. It is not a 'widely understood unwritten rule' to leave the tag blank.

However the woman was silly to go on about it.

It's over!

Edited
Show quote history

Yup

even the idea of this being an unwritten rule is just plain odd. Just one of the many things odd about this scenario

Original poster
GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:45

I'm not rigid I've explained my thought process that I feel people are more likely to reuse if it's not been written on. I am not adverse to writing on a tag. It seems pretty normal from this thread for most to reuse the bags and many also don't write on the tags.

It's honestly mad that it's descended into someone trying to diagnose me. Confused

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 09/05/2026 18:45

likelysuspect · 09/05/2026 18:42

I think people are getting muddled up on this thread

It is not odd to reuse a gift bag, most people have said the same

It is odd to steadfastly refuse to write on the tag, despite prompting by someone else, which would then make it hard for a recipient of several bags to know whose bag is whose.

Thats what people are saying is odd and then the doubling down of it each time.

OP seems a bit rigid about that which might be were some of the ND commentators are coming from

Show quote history

I agree.

Write on the tag next time, the bag can still be used with a new tag or a card. That's what most people do. It is not a 'widely understood unwritten rule' to leave the tag blank.

However the woman was silly to go on about it.

It's over!

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:44

likelysuspect · 09/05/2026 18:42

I think people are getting muddled up on this thread

It is not odd to reuse a gift bag, most people have said the same

It is odd to steadfastly refuse to write on the tag, despite prompting by someone else, which would then make it hard for a recipient of several bags to know whose bag is whose.

Thats what people are saying is odd and then the doubling down of it each time.

OP seems a bit rigid about that which might be were some of the ND commentators are coming from

Show quote history

Exactly!!!!

planespotter71 · 09/05/2026 18:44

I never write on the tag, the present always has the card stuck to it. I have a stack of bags, most have been given to me a few times as my whole family do this ! I have a lovely one with fur on it. I was given this a few years back and the person I gave it to gave it back to me last birthday !

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:43

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:42

You're declaring I struggle socially and am neuro diverse.

I do not struggle socially and how you could consider diagnosing someone as neuro diverse based on this thread is quite ridiculous.

It feels like you have an agenda?

Show quote history

Nope. I read the Op and your follow up posts and asked a question

likelysuspect · 09/05/2026 18:42

XenoBitch · 09/05/2026 18:40

Fucking hell.
MN is full of "are you ND?" comments, but this is not a thread that warrants one.

Re-using a gift bag does not indicate ND.

Show quote history

I think people are getting muddled up on this thread

It is not odd to reuse a gift bag, most people have said the same

It is odd to steadfastly refuse to write on the tag, despite prompting by someone else, which would then make it hard for a recipient of several bags to know whose bag is whose.

Thats what people are saying is odd and then the doubling down of it each time.

OP seems a bit rigid about that which might be were some of the ND commentators are coming from

Original poster
GiftTag · 09/05/2026 18:42

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:39

How so?

Show quote history

You're declaring I struggle socially and am neuro diverse.

I do not struggle socially and how you could consider diagnosing someone as neuro diverse based on this thread is quite ridiculous.

It feels like you have an agenda?

OP posts:
filofaxdouble · 09/05/2026 18:42

SandwichSuperstar · 09/05/2026 16:43

Saving and reusing the bag = Not weird

Not writing on the gift tag so someone else can = A bit weird

This.
YABU to not write on the tag. It’s for someone’s birthday, they want to know who it’s from. They can easily remove the tag if they wish to reuse the bag.

TheBlueKoala · 09/05/2026 18:42

XenoBitch · 09/05/2026 18:40

Fucking hell.
MN is full of "are you ND?" comments, but this is not a thread that warrants one.

Re-using a gift bag does not indicate ND.

Show quote history

Hard agree. @GiftTag very normal to reuse gift bags. Everyone I know does it. Maybe the mum didn't know that there was a card with the gift though and that's why she thought it was weird that you didn't want to use the tag🤷‍♀️

InterestingDuck · 09/05/2026 18:42

I understand the logic behind it but I wouldn't say it's an unwritten rule. I reuse gift bags and if the tag has been written on, I remove it - it's not difficult to add your own tag if it's a situation where it might be needed, multiple gifts not opened at once.

SharonBe · 09/05/2026 18:41

Why don't you just tie another tag on? I don't get this at all. Most gift bags I'm given are written on but you just cut that tag off if you want to re-use. Seems like you were as much "stuck in a loop" as she was.

Theuntold · 09/05/2026 18:41

XenoBitch · 09/05/2026 18:40

Fucking hell.
MN is full of "are you ND?" comments, but this is not a thread that warrants one.

Re-using a gift bag does not indicate ND.

Show quote history

Correct

but starting a thread about it and the posts that follow do

XenoBitch · 09/05/2026 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fucking hell.
MN is full of "are you ND?" comments, but this is not a thread that warrants one.

Re-using a gift bag does not indicate ND.