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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is a widely understood unwritten rule?

344 replies

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 16:41

At a birthday party and as I was dropping off the present with the others another mum noticed we hadn't written on the gift tag. She asked if I wanted a pen so I could write on it and I politely explained I never write on the gift tag so the bag can easily be reused (this one was actually already being reused probably from my own child's party).

She thought this was completely bizarre and genuinely didn't seem to be able to comprehend that this was quite normal behaviour.

She continued to repeat of course you write on the tag that's why its there and how would they know who the gifts was from (I did say the card was in the bag). She seemed stuck on a loop even asking others nearby if they had heard of people doing this before. It not me is it? This is not weird, most people don't write on the tags so the bags can be reused?

OP posts:
diddl · 10/05/2026 19:13

If people want to reuse the bag surely they will whether or not the tag has been written on?

My kids used to put cards on display so that wouldn't have helped identify who the bag was from!

CatCaretaker · 10/05/2026 19:12

UniquePinkSwan · 09/05/2026 16:43

I think you’re the weird one. I don’t know anyone who does that

Everyone I know does this. I have a bag press for gift bags, assume most people do.

Original poster
GiftTag · 10/05/2026 19:10

SharonBe · 10/05/2026 19:09

The woman you were arguing with was obviously not going to re-use the bag, whether or not the tag was written on, so you should have just written on it. People often separate cards from gifts.

Show quote history

Well no she obviously wasn't going to reuse it because the bag and gift were not for her child.

OP posts:
ThePieceHall · 10/05/2026 19:09

Flamingojune · 10/05/2026 18:15

Do you live this sustainably in all walks of life op? Do you cycle?

You win the thread for the most Mumsnet of comments. Your prize is a gift bag sans label.

SharonBe · 10/05/2026 19:09

GiftTag · 10/05/2026 19:06

There was a card. The card does exactly the same job as the label would.

Show quote history

The woman you were arguing with was obviously not going to re-use the bag, whether or not the tag was written on, so you should have just written on it. People often separate cards from gifts.

Original poster
GiftTag · 10/05/2026 19:06

NarnianQueen · 10/05/2026 19:02

This! Normal when you’re taking something round to a family member, but at a party where everyone is leaving gifts on a table, of course you should use the label for its purpose! How are they meant to know who it’s from otherwise?

Show quote history

There was a card. The card does exactly the same job as the label would.

OP posts:
NarnianQueen · 10/05/2026 19:02

Littletreefrog · 09/05/2026 16:43

I don't write on the tag if giving to family so they can reuse the bag. I think at a party where the gifts are all put on a table not handed to the recipient and opened one by one I would write on the tag.

This! Normal when you’re taking something round to a family member, but at a party where everyone is leaving gifts on a table, of course you should use the label for its purpose! How are they meant to know who it’s from otherwise?

igelkott2026 · 10/05/2026 19:01

ThisHotMess · 09/05/2026 16:44

I'm with you, OP, and am always pleased to find an unwritten gift-bag tag. But I assumed I was in the minority.

Same here, especially if the card was in the bag so it was obvious who it was from.

Yellowpingu · 10/05/2026 18:57

We live a long way from family who have previously sent gifts from online retailers in gift bags. My (adult) DC know that all fancy organza gift bags must be handed back once the gift is opened! If they’re staying over Christmas they don’t wrap gifts before arriving as there’s no need.

AmplePeachExpert · 10/05/2026 18:54

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 16:41

At a birthday party and as I was dropping off the present with the others another mum noticed we hadn't written on the gift tag. She asked if I wanted a pen so I could write on it and I politely explained I never write on the gift tag so the bag can easily be reused (this one was actually already being reused probably from my own child's party).

She thought this was completely bizarre and genuinely didn't seem to be able to comprehend that this was quite normal behaviour.

She continued to repeat of course you write on the tag that's why its there and how would they know who the gifts was from (I did say the card was in the bag). She seemed stuck on a loop even asking others nearby if they had heard of people doing this before. It not me is it? This is not weird, most people don't write on the tags so the bags can be reused?

I do this too. It's not weird at all. 🤣

SantasNewLittleHelper · 10/05/2026 18:45

I do this and often get gift bags without being written on as the majority of the time there is a card. So I reuse and also gift a blank one why not! 😂

inickedthisname · 10/05/2026 18:43

Here’s an idea - write on the tag lightly… in pencil!

Sharptonguedwoman · 10/05/2026 18:35

UniquePinkSwan · 09/05/2026 16:43

I think you’re the weird one. I don’t know anyone who does that

Me. Specially if it’s family. Label the present and card. Re-use the bag.

maudelovesharold · 10/05/2026 18:31

ConnieHeart · 09/05/2026 16:44

I've done this many times but really only for friends when I pass the gift to them one to one, not where the receiver has lots of presents. The card could easily become separated from the gift when the child comes to open it

I hardly ever write on the tag attached to the bag. There’s no need, if there’s a card. I always tape the card to the present, though, so it can’t get separated!

Minglingpringle · 10/05/2026 18:27

I definitely do this. She’s weird to be surprised. I don’t think it’s an unwritten rule though. If the tag has been written on, I would just rip it off. No tag is no worse than a tag you choose to leave blank.

It’s great to reuse gift bags.

Lairymary · 10/05/2026 18:24

Littletreefrog · 09/05/2026 16:43

I don't write on the tag if giving to family so they can reuse the bag. I think at a party where the gifts are all put on a table not handed to the recipient and opened one by one I would write on the tag.

Exactly this!

Funnylass · 10/05/2026 18:23

I never write on gift tags either, card is in the bag. YANBU. I guess it was nice she offered to help but it was really weird she couldn’t get head round your point of view and made a big thing of it. She should’ve just said “ah okay” and then posted on mumsnet 😆

Original poster
GiftTag · 10/05/2026 18:20

Flamingojune · 10/05/2026 18:15

Do you live this sustainably in all walks of life op? Do you cycle?

Not consciously but yes I cycle, use public transport and don't own a car but I don't see that this is really related to reusing gift bags. It's not an all or nothing type situation?

OP posts:
Dave57 · 10/05/2026 18:18

Our circle always reuse bags. You can now buy bags that have two tags for this reason but I always buy plain tags to stick on bags. Its such a waste to use a bag once then throw away!

Flamingojune · 10/05/2026 18:15

Do you live this sustainably in all walks of life op? Do you cycle?

Wimin123 · 10/05/2026 18:12

Itiswhysofew · 09/05/2026 16:45

I leave tags blank cos I can't be bothered with them, especially as I always put a card in the gift bag. I also re-use gift bags and if the tag's been written on, I remove it.

I believe it is a common practice.

Yes totally normal. I feel I am helping the planet a bit.

RoomToDream · 10/05/2026 18:09

We recently received a few gift bags for my toddler's birthday and the majority didn't write their names on the gift tags. I noticed it and thought that it must be new etiquette. I even stopped writing on the gift tags for other birthday parties as I thought it was now bad form! No issue knowing who gifted what as there were cards in the gift bag. I opened this thread thinking it would explain some unspoken etiquette but clearly this is unusual. I'm surprised!

Gwenna · 10/05/2026 17:58

GiftTag · 09/05/2026 16:41

At a birthday party and as I was dropping off the present with the others another mum noticed we hadn't written on the gift tag. She asked if I wanted a pen so I could write on it and I politely explained I never write on the gift tag so the bag can easily be reused (this one was actually already being reused probably from my own child's party).

She thought this was completely bizarre and genuinely didn't seem to be able to comprehend that this was quite normal behaviour.

She continued to repeat of course you write on the tag that's why its there and how would they know who the gifts was from (I did say the card was in the bag). She seemed stuck on a loop even asking others nearby if they had heard of people doing this before. It not me is it? This is not weird, most people don't write on the tags so the bags can be reused?

YANBU I’ve heard of this too. It’s optional but a perfectly acceptable thing to do 🙂

Lollipop81 · 10/05/2026 17:56

I do the same you are not alone.

BooneyBeautiful · 10/05/2026 17:49

ToKittyornottoKitty · 09/05/2026 16:43

You are both weird. And you know the gift tag is removable right? If it’s been written on you can just remove the tag and use the bag

That's exactly what I do.