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Vile remark at meeting - what to do?

309 replies

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 13:21

I’m on the committee of a local group - i was at a meeting on Thursday evening and the chair made what I’d regard as a vile remark. She referred to an individual (who she was going to approach to help with something ) as having “a face like an armpit” . She actually said “you know who I mean - the one with a face like an armpit. Everyone looked quite shocked - it was about 5 mins before the meeting wound up. But I’m still cross with myself for not walking out. Im not good if I’m put on the spot. My dilemma is what do I do ? I honestly hate stuff like that- it’s vile- it’s unkind. My DP reckons she made herself look so awful that no further action is needed. I’m tempted to resign, but I think she should go, She’s known for being very outspoken but this in my opinion crossed a line . I’ve not spoken to anyone else on the committee about it. Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
lovecheesymash · 09/05/2026 15:34

I consider my arm pits to be very attractive!😁!

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 15:31

GoodWater · 09/05/2026 15:25

I wonder if the person with the face like an armpit cares that she's been described this way? If someone told me they'd heard this said about me I'd ask why they're bothering to tell me. Looking like a bodily crevasse isn't a moral failing or a stain on your character. Who cares??

To be fair I’d laugh.

sittingonabeach · 09/05/2026 15:29

If there is a vice chair I might ask them to have a word

Dappy777 · 09/05/2026 15:27

I don’t think you’re overreacting OP. Not only was it cruel, it was also unprofessional. It’s a nasty, spiteful little remark even for a night of drinking with friends. But in a setting like that it’s totally unacceptable.

MabelRoyds · 09/05/2026 15:26

LoserWinner · 09/05/2026 14:28

What is it that stops people saying “Excuse me, I don’t think that speaking of someone that way is acceptable”?

The knowledge that they will be regarded as nit picking and po faced and people will smile to their faces but sigh with relief as they walk away.

GoodWater · 09/05/2026 15:25

I wonder if the person with the face like an armpit cares that she's been described this way? If someone told me they'd heard this said about me I'd ask why they're bothering to tell me. Looking like a bodily crevasse isn't a moral failing or a stain on your character. Who cares??

Melancholyflower · 09/05/2026 15:25

But what does it mean?

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 15:23

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 15:10

I get the light hearted side . But she asking this woman fir a bloody favour . There was an incident with her last year- someone was meant to help on the Saturday but her mum passed earlier that week. The chair didn’t see this as a valid excuse

You clearly dislike her. So maybe do resign.

OriginalSkang · 09/05/2026 15:14

Its not very nice and I think you should definitely have asked for her to be a bit more professional and not make personal comments

Its definitely not vile!

DeftGoldHedgehog · 09/05/2026 15:13

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:24

Why is that vile ? I have heard people described as having a face like a slapped arse. Is that similar

I was just thinking that. "Face like an armpit" sounds rather odd but not particularly offensive.

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 15:10

I get the light hearted side . But she asking this woman fir a bloody favour . There was an incident with her last year- someone was meant to help on the Saturday but her mum passed earlier that week. The chair didn’t see this as a valid excuse

OP posts:
lechatnoir · 09/05/2026 15:10

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 14:34

She does have form for upsetting people. She just says what she thinks

Well, if nobody ever calls her out on it, I’m hardly surprised. Resigning or formally objecting seems OTT however it would’ve been appropriate at the time to just say Oi Janet please don’t be rude about XX

deeahgwitch · 09/05/2026 15:08

She sounds horrible @bagpuss90
That was nasty.

MyDeftDuck · 09/05/2026 15:07

I think you would be quite justified in proposing a vote of no confidence in the Chair at the next meeting. They are clearly not suited to the role.

Northermcharn · 09/05/2026 15:06

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 15:03

I am genuinely curious to know what face like an armpit looks like 😂

Do we think hairy arm pit or unhairy armpit?

WongLynchFellini · 09/05/2026 15:05

Growlybear83 · 09/05/2026 15:04

I would imagine it to look quite similar to a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp. 🤣

I thought that one was more about their expression than their looks, at least it is where I am. Sort of pulling a disapproving disgusted face, sort of how I imagine MNers to look when they see a loo brush in the wild.

MidnightMeltdown · 09/05/2026 15:04

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 14:57

Yes, bully her. That’s the answer

OP said that everyone looked shocked and she has form for upsetting people. How is that ok to just let her continue?

Shes basically just called another volunteer(or employee?) ugly. She sounds like a total dick and deserves what’s coming to her.

Growlybear83 · 09/05/2026 15:04

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 15:03

I am genuinely curious to know what face like an armpit looks like 😂

I would imagine it to look quite similar to a face like a bulldog chewing on a wasp. 🤣

WongLynchFellini · 09/05/2026 15:04

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 15:03

I am genuinely curious to know what face like an armpit looks like 😂

Surely it’s just one of those things you say when someone is unattractive like saying they look like a big toe or whatever? They don’t literally look like that thing. At least I hope there’s nobody walking around with an actual armpit face!

Lifestooshort71 · 09/05/2026 15:04

Many years ago a reporter described Fergie's backside (in very tight leggings) as looking like a bag of ferrets. Very mean but true . An armpit doesn't give me the same visual imagery. Yes, she was rude but a quick 'that's mean' would have done the trick

BunnyLake · 09/05/2026 15:03

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 14:08

God I’d loved to have seen that. The pair of you being mad as a box of frogs together, proper committee folk behaviour. 😂 I’d have been guffawing all the way home.

I am genuinely curious to know what face like an armpit looks like 😂

Northermcharn · 09/05/2026 15:02

Keep serious reporting for serious things. Let this one go. People have a job to do.

Iron Man Eye Roll GIF
LoyalMember · 09/05/2026 14:59

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 14:57

Yes, bully her. That’s the answer

😆😂

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 14:57

MidnightMeltdown · 09/05/2026 14:44

She sounds like a bully. Not an appropriate person to be working on a committee. Talk to other committee members about their experiences with her. As a group, you might be able to get her thrown off.

Yes, bully her. That’s the answer

AquaLeader · 09/05/2026 14:55

Next time she makes a similar comment, you could say -

'Margaret, we are all already aware that you are a particularly nasty piece of work, but could you please attempt to maintain a professional attitude for the next hour?'

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