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Vile remark at meeting - what to do?

309 replies

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 13:21

I’m on the committee of a local group - i was at a meeting on Thursday evening and the chair made what I’d regard as a vile remark. She referred to an individual (who she was going to approach to help with something ) as having “a face like an armpit” . She actually said “you know who I mean - the one with a face like an armpit. Everyone looked quite shocked - it was about 5 mins before the meeting wound up. But I’m still cross with myself for not walking out. Im not good if I’m put on the spot. My dilemma is what do I do ? I honestly hate stuff like that- it’s vile- it’s unkind. My DP reckons she made herself look so awful that no further action is needed. I’m tempted to resign, but I think she should go, She’s known for being very outspoken but this in my opinion crossed a line . I’ve not spoken to anyone else on the committee about it. Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
Beautifulday01 · 09/05/2026 13:27

I wouldn’t take much notice as I don’t even know what it’s meant to mean.

LeekFirst · 09/05/2026 13:27

I might have laughed too because i'm a terrible person. It's an unpleasant comment - the correct approach would be to say "can we please avoid personal remarks" at the time she said it. It won't be a resigning offence unless you can persuade all the other committee members that they were equally offended and have lost confidence in her.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:26

I think perhaps you should resign if you get upset about things like this

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:24

Why is that vile ? I have heard people described as having a face like a slapped arse. Is that similar

30mins · 09/05/2026 13:24

Pack it in. You don’t need to virtue signal by leaving/ flouncing off. Consider it a lesson to follow if it happens again.

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:23

yeah I agree if you want ro resign as she said someone had a face like an armpit then I’d crack on.

TFImBackIn · 09/05/2026 13:23

So she was going to approach this woman she'd just insulted in a meeting, and ask her to help with something? Would that be paid help or voluntary?

She sounds awful.

Clairey1986 · 09/05/2026 13:23

It wasn’t nice but I wouldn’t say it warrants reporting (to who?).

If you want to quit, go ahead.

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:22

I’m sorry, but that made me laugh. It’s a committe, is it volunteers? If so, let it go, you’re going to have people say stuff and as things go, that’s rather tame and amusing.