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Original poster

Vile remark at meeting - what to do?

309 replies

bagpuss90 · 09/05/2026 13:21

I’m on the committee of a local group - i was at a meeting on Thursday evening and the chair made what I’d regard as a vile remark. She referred to an individual (who she was going to approach to help with something ) as having “a face like an armpit” . She actually said “you know who I mean - the one with a face like an armpit. Everyone looked quite shocked - it was about 5 mins before the meeting wound up. But I’m still cross with myself for not walking out. Im not good if I’m put on the spot. My dilemma is what do I do ? I honestly hate stuff like that- it’s vile- it’s unkind. My DP reckons she made herself look so awful that no further action is needed. I’m tempted to resign, but I think she should go, She’s known for being very outspoken but this in my opinion crossed a line . I’ve not spoken to anyone else on the committee about it. Am I over reacting?

OP posts:
CoralOP · 09/05/2026 14:00

BMW58 · 09/05/2026 14:00

That's pretty tame I'd say.

My favourite is

"He/She has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle"

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 14:00

Changednameagain999 · 09/05/2026 13:58

Google says it isn’t a standard phrase. But might mean sweaty, smelly and unkempt like armpits can be.

Sigh, for the third time it means an unappealing, unattractive face, as appealing as an armpit. It’s a colloquial statement used in some geographies.

wonder op can you ask mumsnet fo put an explanation in your op, so the faux clueless don’t derail your rather amusing thread,

BMW58 · 09/05/2026 14:00

That's pretty tame I'd say.

My favourite is

"He/She has a face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle"

Gloriia · 09/05/2026 13:58

People should not be making derogatory comments about others in meetings, it's basic social etiquette isn't it.

Face like an armpit is a an odd description but clearly not meant as a compliment.

Changednameagain999 · 09/05/2026 13:58

Google says it isn’t a standard phrase. But might mean sweaty, smelly and unkempt like armpits can be.

CoralOP · 09/05/2026 13:58

SmeII · 09/05/2026 13:54

Is constantly reporting things a British thing? I see it on here a lot (I’m not from the UK). Recent post about a local worker allowing their car to idle- report them to their employer. Someone looked at me funny in work- report to HR. A man walked past my house- report to 101.

If you’re so easily insulted (on behalf of someone else), the best way to tackle the behaviour is on the spot. You could have said something like “that was an inappropriate remark” or “I don’t think it’s very nice to refer to someone who uses our services in a derogatory way”.

You’re not a child, you can use your own words and not go running to the nearest adult.

It seems to be a mumsnet thing! Never in real life have I come across people who are so utterly offended by anything. I worked in HR 10 years and if someone come to me with one of these complaints I would have to try very hard not to laugh in their face!...thankfully it's never happened!

pavillion1 · 09/05/2026 13:58

Have you always been overly sensitive?

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:57

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:56

It isn’t really although in Mumsnet-land it seems to be. It seems to be that people see or hear something that shocks them and then they don’t do anything at the time and come on here to ask if they should report them. This has the double bonus of them being able to avoid confronting someone (and therefore doing something about it) and also getting a pat on the back from other posters.

Show quote history

Yes virtue signalling. Ops no intention of resigning. 😂

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:56

KilkennyCats · 09/05/2026 13:55

It’s a random body part 🤷🏻‍♀️

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So? There are lots of sayings in English language, face like a bag of spanner’s is another one. Which are random tools.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:56

SmeII · 09/05/2026 13:54

Is constantly reporting things a British thing? I see it on here a lot (I’m not from the UK). Recent post about a local worker allowing their car to idle- report them to their employer. Someone looked at me funny in work- report to HR. A man walked past my house- report to 101.

If you’re so easily insulted (on behalf of someone else), the best way to tackle the behaviour is on the spot. You could have said something like “that was an inappropriate remark” or “I don’t think it’s very nice to refer to someone who uses our services in a derogatory way”.

You’re not a child, you can use your own words and not go running to the nearest adult.

It isn’t really although in Mumsnet-land it seems to be. It seems to be that people see or hear something that shocks them and then they don’t do anything at the time and come on here to ask if they should report them. This has the double bonus of them being able to avoid confronting someone (and therefore doing something about it) and also getting a pat on the back from other posters.

QPZM · 09/05/2026 13:56

I'm with your DP.

Plus walking out instead of saying "That's not very kind, is it?" would've been a weird reaction.

KilkennyCats · 09/05/2026 13:55

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:54

How are people not even able to google or work it out; means someone is unattractive, their face is as appealing as an armpit.

Edited
Show quote history

It’s a random body part 🤷🏻‍♀️

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:55

SmeII · 09/05/2026 13:54

Is constantly reporting things a British thing? I see it on here a lot (I’m not from the UK). Recent post about a local worker allowing their car to idle- report them to their employer. Someone looked at me funny in work- report to HR. A man walked past my house- report to 101.

If you’re so easily insulted (on behalf of someone else), the best way to tackle the behaviour is on the spot. You could have said something like “that was an inappropriate remark” or “I don’t think it’s very nice to refer to someone who uses our services in a derogatory way”.

You’re not a child, you can use your own words and not go running to the nearest adult.

No, it is really not. It is a small number of busy bodies. It is not British culture at all.

KilkennyCats · 09/05/2026 13:54

Anewuser · 09/05/2026 13:38

Over 40 years ago, at my first job I remember the boss describing one of his employees as having a face like a bag of spanners.

Is she much older and doesn’t know you should make personal remarks about people?

Why are you suggesting older people don’t know not to make personal remarks?
Did you mean to type much younger? Although unless you think they might have been six or seven I’m not sure that works either 🤔

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:54

KilkennyCats · 09/05/2026 13:51

We can’t tell if it’s “vile” or not until you explain what it means, op?

How are people not even able to google or work it out; means someone is unattractive, their face is as appealing as an armpit.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 09/05/2026 13:54

HoppityBun · 09/05/2026 13:31

Similar. And similarly rude. Personal remarks are rude.

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Yes they are. However sometimes they are justified.

SmeII · 09/05/2026 13:54

Is constantly reporting things a British thing? I see it on here a lot (I’m not from the UK). Recent post about a local worker allowing their car to idle- report them to their employer. Someone looked at me funny in work- report to HR. A man walked past my house- report to 101.

If you’re so easily insulted (on behalf of someone else), the best way to tackle the behaviour is on the spot. You could have said something like “that was an inappropriate remark” or “I don’t think it’s very nice to refer to someone who uses our services in a derogatory way”.

You’re not a child, you can use your own words and not go running to the nearest adult.

Pluto46 · 09/05/2026 13:54

I'm sure a good proportion of the alleged experiences on here these days got their inspiration from Little Britain sketches

LeekFirst · 09/05/2026 13:53

I was just thinking about that @Safarisagoody

Safarisagoody · 09/05/2026 13:52

It means someone is unattractive.

i love committe folks. So much drama. Normally a bunch of people either retired or can’t hold down a job, in there lobbing insults at each other and using the fact they are on a “COMMITEE” to bolster low self esteem and boredom.

its like Jackie weaver all over again. 😂

CoralOP · 09/05/2026 13:52

I've gotta ask.....did you know who she meant when she said the woman who looked like an armpit? 🙊

vincettenoir · 09/05/2026 13:51

AnneLovesGilbert · 09/05/2026 13:29

What on earth does it mean? I’m completely intrigued.

Yeah and me. What does it mean? Never heard this one.

KilkennyCats · 09/05/2026 13:51

We can’t tell if it’s “vile” or not until you explain what it means, op?

SoManyTshirts · 09/05/2026 13:50

One of my colleagues once referred to a contractor in conversation as “the one that looks like rhinoceros upside down”. There were at least a dozen working on our floor at the time but in the words of the two Ronnies “we heard what he said but we knew who he meant”.

I can’t picture an armpit face at all.

I wouldn’t be too shocked if it was outside of the person’s hearing, but I’d note the speaker is not a nice person and wonder how she describes the rest of us.

DuskOPorter · 09/05/2026 13:50

How did anyone know who she meant you based off that description?

It is a tasteless comment but obviously it carries no veracity?

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