In the Easter holidays we went away with SIL and her family. The dc get on well and we thought it might be nice for them to spend more time together. Up till now we always got on with SIL and her DP.
The plan was to go away again in the summer. However SIL spoke to DH yesterday and they’ve cancelled coming with us. Apparently my behaviour at Easter was not something they can ‘put up with or expose their teenage daughters to’
They accused me of
- having disordered and performative eating habits and possibly an eating disorder and don’t think I should be around their girls as it’s not setting a good example. That I was affecting her as well as I made her feel stressed about food the way I ate and the quantities and how 3 cooked meals a day is gluttony yet I’m too thin so she felt huge anxiety?
2)that I’m cruel to animals as we wouldn’t allow their dog into our room in the accommodation which meant they had to get up to distract him. Apparently he loves dh and wanted cuddles and me preventing that made them feel anxious as that’s not a normal response ? I love animals I just didn’t want a dog in our bed ! Every evening and early morning he was whining and scratching and this ruined their relaxing.
Back to the eating. I eat totally normally! SIL had put the idea to dh that I must have crash dieted before the holiday , overeaten in a performative way during then accused me of ‘probably starving herself’ when home apparently to make her feel bad.
I eat very healthily and normally. Never had any kind of eating disorder and I’m a normal size (8-10 no idea what I weigh as I don’t have scales as never needed any)
a typical days eating for me is pretty standard I think:
I have eggs on toast and a smoothie for breakfast. Snack on fruit or nuts mid morning. I love lattes. Have 2-3 a day.
I love to cook so for lunches I make things like pasta salads, chicken and salmon with rice and avocado. Sometimes frittata or quiche.
Dinners I’ll have anything but it’s the biggest meal and things like curries , bolognese and garlic bread. When we were away I made a dark
choc and raspberry torte and SIL kept saying ‘well of course I can’t have dessert’ and seemed annoyed when I had 2 slices. I snack in the evening and had popcorn one night and a glass of wine and crackers and cheese another night. She said I overeat so I must be cutting back at other times to overeat around them and her daughters will see me and the amount I eat and ‘it doesn’t add up’
She doesn’t want someone ‘unstable who won’t admit there’s a problem’ around impressionable teens and it’s apparently very concerning that I dislike animals that’s a red flag apparently.
DH told her this is all ridiculous he’s known me for a long long time he knows I have zero issues that she is suggesting. I’m confused too as she’s known me a long time I’ve always been the same size ???
AIBU to be really angry at these accusations. We also have teen dds as well as younger ds. She was insinuating that im a risk to them as well and telling dh that?!