AIBU to be angry after SIL accused me of disordered eating?

"Then you reach that age, 24-25, your muscles give up, they wave a little white flag, and without any warning at all you're suddenly a fat bastard"

Agree. Our dog had to get up when our friends did on holiday as he knew people were up and about. They are earlier risers than us. I sucked it up and got up - it wasn’t their fault he had FOMO! I wouldn’t have let the dog in our bed, never mind their’s. I’m slim (ish) and eat like you, especially on holiday, she’s just jealous.

Frankly she’s the one that seems to have disordered eating and she’s putting the burden of it on you. She’s probably offended about you eating/cooking because she doesn’t allow herself to do the same for whatever reason.

As for the dog, I have the same issue with SIL’s dog and she’s fine with it. I love that dog like it’s my own, but I won’t have it over and when I stay over to petsit he’s not allowed to sleep in bed with me. I’ve had pets all my life but they were never allowed on beds and sofas, that’s just how I was raised. I’m a very light sleeper so a dog at my feet constantly wakes me up.

She sounds nuts!

Re the dog, it just sounds like she was annoyed you didn’t let her dog in with you so that she didn’t have to get up. If she “likes a lie in” that’s fine but she can’t have one at your expense. She can’t decree that you let and animal on your bed and also be disturbed so that she’s not disturbed.

I’m confused that having breakfast, lunch and dinner is considered a lot by some people. And who doesn’t have extra snacks and wine on holiday?

She is batshit crazy unhinged and massively jealous of you. I bet all this time she was talking behind your back to iher DH and other family members sneering saying you obviously starve yourself etc so it was a shock to her to see just how much you do eat and don’t gain weight. You’re not overeating IMO, your body can handle it so why shouldn’t you?
The dog thing is crackers, was he sleeping in with them and scratching to get out to you and DH or just scratch and whining at your bedroom door to get in? Absolutely no way I’d have anyone else’s dog in my bed, my son sleeps with his dog but I chase her from my room when she comes in, damn shedding hairs everywhere 😂 Ignore the 4% votes, they’re people exactly like you SIL, lunatics

She said she’s size 8-10 and 5ft 10” so she’s tall and slim, she said SIL is round size 12 so not big, I agree with you, didn’t mention portion size but even if she does eat large portions so what, she’s obviously got great metabolism, if she’s hungry enough to want to eat and stay slim then wtf is the problem. I couldn’t figure out who the 4% votes were coming from saying she was being unreasonable but reading 2-3 comments saying that she is eating a lot or whatever, it wasn’t too hard to see where the jealous 4% votes came from 😂

Your diet seems absolutely standard to me

What is? Other than ‘eggs’ (plural), ‘2-3 lattes’ and ‘a glass of wine’ OP made no reference to the quantities of anything. And as she’s a ?12? (I forgot what she said) it’s obviously not ‘a lot’ at all. It also doesn’t matter what other people eat. They are not OP and they do not live OPs life.

Are you tall and active and on holiday?

She is exceptionally jealous that you can eat the way that you do and still remain a size 8-10. I’ll be honest, so am I. I am a size 10 and in order to remain that way I have to eat around half of that, walk 15,000 steps a day and do cardio 3-4 times a week. I am only mentioning that because I can see why she MIGHT find it difficult to understand. However, it is absolutely nothing to do with her either way! Even if you had starved yourself to go it still wouldn’t be her business unless you glamourised that to her children. And it’s okay to be envious but it’s not okay to shame anyone! I doubt very much that the teenagers would think a single thing about how much you eat unless she brought it up. At the very most what she could have said is something along the lines of ‘isn’t Aunty X so lucky that she can eat all those delicious and nutritious foods and stay such a healthy weight?’ If she really wanted to explain that not everyone can.

The thing about the dog is weird, our dog whines like that while we’re away and I am super self conscious if anyone is with us as it’s not fair so I can see why it crying might have been annoying. It might have been better to let it in your room or just not take it in hindsight.

All in all, be glad she doesn’t want to come next time.

That is quite a lot of food for one day! I’m overweight but don’t eat anywhere near that amount

YANBU. Your SIL clearly has severe problems, so it sounds like a lucky escape re no longer having to spend the summer holiday with them.

Also, describing things you personally disagree with as "red flags" is also annoying.

If they had seen you secretly kicking the dog, that might be a red flag. Not wanting the dog on your bed is in no way a red flag.

I did have that quote in my head as I was reading the OP (and grumpily thinking yeah that used to be me, wait till you hit your mid-40s)😆

One of my friends is similar to you - tall, size 10 ish, lovely athletic figure, does loads of exercise as she enjoys it. She eats more than I could but it's mostly healthy food though she enjoys chocolate and dessert in moderation.

She went on holiday with a friend and friend's mum. The friend's mum didn't eat any lunch whereas my friend ate 3 (healthy) meals per day and snacked on fruit. The friend's mum kept on making comments: 'Ooh are you eating again / You've only just eaten / How can you be hungry etc. Spoiled the holiday a bit for my friend.

People have odd attitudes to other people's eating. Your sil has not only drawn crazy conclusions but also been very rude and cruel to you about it.

Dog thing is mad too. I also like dogs but would not want one on my bed.

Whats the betting she's caught her hubby giving your figure the eyes while you're in your swimming gear/nightclothes?
She's sooooo definitely jealous!

There will be no dogs ever in my bedroom and anyone who has a problem with that can take their dog and fuck off. Your sil has so many issues!! It was probably good for her kids to see other normal healthy adults cook and eat food though. I love dessert :)

Good grief. Your sil doesn’t sound like a very happy person. She’s tried and failed to make you sound like some sort of Cruella de Ville with a performative eating disorder. She’s also managed to fall out with your husband and made you angry. I think she’s got a lot of problems and it’s not worth getting involved.

someones progecting their own feelings i think

as for the dog since when can you rent somewhere for a holiday and they let you take the dog in bdrooms and climb over the bed

Your SIL sounds like a very unhappy person, which is quite sad.
She’s projecting her feelings onto you for some reason. Her dog is her dog and not your responsibility to entertain at nighttime or in your bed.
I’d be extremely offended if I was you or your husband, plus I’d point out to her that being obsessed with someone else’s eating habits is just weird! What a weirdo she is!!

There are a lot of people who stay size 8 eating plenty (until health events hit, I was one of them!) and as long as they don't suggest that it's easy to be thin and anyone over a size 12 is a pig, there's no issue with that. Unless they're struggling for money, and worry their kids will expect a lot more spent on food? But saying what she said wasn't ok.
With the dog, you should have discussed it before they came. Your house, your rules, but you should have given them a heads up.

SIL sounds horrible! Not just bonkers (obviously), but shockingly rude and domineering. She should be ashamed.

Lucky escape I’d say!!

I think the poster who said is she on weight loss jabs that suppress her appetite has hit the nail on the head. SIL has lost sight of what ‘normal’ eating is.