AIBU for calling the police but not opening the door at 3am?

It doesnt matter if people see it differently- you have no idea what people may have been through in their lives. It doesn't make their choice wrong and yours right or morally superior.

Noone is obliged to put themselves in a place of risk for someone else and half the time the people screaming or banging at the door arent "talking"- thats the entire point, all you see is someone screaming or hysterical and its impossible to judge in a split second what is actually going on so you have to make a decision in a second.

100% the right thing.
Its a common scam in some areas You let the women in, then she lets the other in and they rob the house or worse.

I never open the door after dark especially if I am alone. My husband will answer the door.

I think you did the right thing. You did not know the full circumstances and you had to make a judgement call.

No I wouldn’t have opened the door either

Yes but he had a knife and was intent on causing harm so a very scary situation for the neighbour and the obviously the poor victim.

Well it’s a bit different if it’s a neighbour. As you know them /who they are

You had to protect your children. The police are the right people to call in such a scenario

That was really ballsy of your mum.

I actually think about this a bit as my cousin's best friend was murdered by her ex boyfriend in the driveway of her neighbours house. She had run to the door to try and get help and the neighbour refused to answer the door.

Now that I have kids I think I would probably be too scared to answer for all our safety.

I am a Police Officer and I wouldn't have opened the door either. You did right by calling the police and safeguarding yourself and children. Don't listen to anyone else.

I always get involved. Someone screaming in the street, I'll go and check it out. Obviously read the situation before doing anything risky, but I'd at least speak to the person asking for help.

Some people in the thread have been watching too much true crime. Most people in need aren't knife murderers out to get you.

OP apologies I only skim read your post, but if your friends who think you should have opened the door are married/living with men, there's your answer.

They don't know how it feels to be a lone female in charge of children and household safety. They don't live with the ingrained "switched on" vigilance that come with having no back up.

You did the right thing (but it's unfortunate that it has come to this. Nonetheless, safety first, always).

You were right to call the police. If she had been alone, I would have let her in. I wouldn't have let her in with a man with her.

I’d see it differently if the man wasn’t there, but ultimately it would have been difficult to protect that woman, alongside yourself and 3 kids simultaneously in the balance of probabilities if things turned nasty.

I mean, what skills/experience do you have that makes you particularly strong at fighting off a potentially dangerous man in those circumstances, half awake at 3am too? That’s what the police are for.

All you can really do is call them, and provide CCTV if you have it or whatever else they may ask to support their investigation.

I would have opened a window and asked what's up. No way would I open the door.

When I was 9 a neighbour of ours was beaten to death when he opened his door to help a woman in distress. The woman’s boyfriend attacked him when he opened his door to try and let her in. He was in his 70s.

I do not open my door at 3am for anyone.

I was taught at a self-defense class, a very, VERY long time ago, to scream “fire” instead of “help” or “rape” so people would investigate out of their own self-interest. The Kitty Genovese case was used as the example that just screaming your lungs out might still accomplish nothing, sadly. Bystander effect is very real and very terrifying.

You did the right thing. It could’ve been all an act to trick their way into people’s houses, you really don’t know. Or like PP said, he could’ve been armed.

I had similar a few years ago. Young man knocking at my door about 10:30 at night saying he was being followed by a group of men 2 on foot and more in a car. I had a porch with an outer and inner door, so I made sure all the lights were on and let him in the porch with the key to the outer door so he could lock himself in there while I stayed safely in the house, then called the police.

While we were waiting for the police I saw a car cruising slowly up & down the road pausing each time they were by my house, and 2 men walking up & down the street again pausing & looking every time they passed the house.

Police came (lights but no sirens) quite quickly and took the young guy in one car (not restrained in any way) then came in to talk to me; meanwhile the car with the other guys came past again & shot off at high speed when they saw the police car.

I'm a single woman, was 50's then & just starting to become disabled, was told I did the right thing.

I was mugged on the street once and hit over the head with a bottle. My friend tried to flag down passing cars to get me to hospital but nobody would stop. I can't say I blamed them really, although it would have been nice to get a good samaritan.

You did the only right thing.

Our front bedroom window looks over our porch I would have opened the window and asked if she was ok or ask what’s going on after I phoned the police to try to keep her within view, then hopefully if police turned up she would have been easy to find . I definitely would not have opened the door though, you done the right thing

Happened to my mum without the man there. She didn't open the door and called an ambulance. The lady seemed drunk and injured. She's 75 and there is no way she didn't do the right thing. You did too.

I had people aggressively banging on my door in the middle of the night like this a few times. I've call the police but they are never interested

Why didbnt you open the window from the bedroom to see what was happening and if she was ok, youd have kept your family safe and then she could have stayed at the door while the police came. Hope shes ok