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AIBU?

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Original poster

Very sensitive toddler

35 replies

ForLovingTealSheep · 09/05/2026 09:56

My daughter is 3 years 3 months and I’m trying to understand other parents’ experiences with sensitive/anxious toddlers because I go back and forth wondering what’s typical.
At home she’s actually doing really well in a lot of areas:

  • plays independently for pretty long stretches (pretend play, books, dinosaurs, doctor games, etc.)
  • follows multi-step instructions
  • has good imaginative play and makes up dialogue
  • can sit for circle-time type activities for around 15 minutes
  • shares and generally plays well with other kids
  • sleeps well and usually regulates herself pretty well
But she’s also very sensitive in certain situations. For example:
  • if lots of kids are crowding a slide/playground area she can get overwhelmed and cry
  • she gets nervous in unfamiliar places or when driving somewhere new or when new peppa are in the house she gets overly silly to mask her
  • she’s more of a cautious “slow to warm up” child
At the same time, she actually does pretty well once settled in smaller social situations like birthday parties or playgroups. Because of this we’ve decided not to send her to kindergarten/preschool yet and wait a bit longer until she feels more emotionally ready. I guess I’m just wondering:
  • did anyone else have a very sensitive/cautious 3-year-old?
  • did they grow out of the overwhelm with age/exposure?
  • how did you help build confidence in group settings without forcing it too hard?
Would love to hear other parents’ experiences.
OP posts:
Endofyear · 09/05/2026 11:35

Not again. OP please get help for this obsession. It's not good for your poor child 😢

Keroppi · 09/05/2026 10:38

You need to speak to a therapist about your anxiety, I've just read your other threads!

So she's been to preschool and you've pulled her out totally?

Find a forest school or something she can be a bit more wild and free

You're doing her a disservice for constantly being on the watch for nd symptoms and googling every single developmental stage, you said you've been to a pediatrician too?
Just enjoy your time with her as it's going to slip by with you obsessing over nd xx

Keroppi · 09/05/2026 10:26

Actually sounds like she really needs playgroup/preschool and would enjoy it a lot. It would help boost her confidence and give her some experience navigating social situations and friendships with kids with different personalities

There's nothing wrong with being slow to warm up and waiting for her to be emotionally ready is a folly - this is just her personality - and it's not a bad one :)

Being nervous around new people or new environments is normal. Imagine the stark opposite, completely outgoing, no fears at all, leaping off playground equipment and running off with any adult or kid who says hi to them.. scary!.. now that would come with it's own challenges and there are children like that. I'm sure their parents would get on here and ask for help assisting them to be more mindful/slow to judge character !!!

Clefable · 09/05/2026 10:21

I agree, nursery or preschool would probably be great for her. Both of mine have gone part-time from one, but DD1 in particular is quite a cautious child. She was a toddler during Covid and I noticed huge differences in her confidence levels during the lockdowns when she couldn’t attend nursery. She really benefits from a nursery/school environment to actually build and reinforce her confidence.

Goldengirl123 · 09/05/2026 10:18

Sounds very normal to me

looselegs · 09/05/2026 10:17

Childminder here!
Absolutely sounds perfectly normal to me- I wouldn't say she was particularly over sensitive but she would benefit greatly from going to preschool, even if its for 2 or 3 sessions a week. Socialising is very important- it helps them and teaches them how to deal with other people/ children in bigger groups, which, in turn, gets them ready for school.

Anewuser · 09/05/2026 10:12

Yep, agree with @Daisymae55 I’d get her into pre-school rather than holding her back.

The longer you keep her under your wing, the harder it will be for you/her to let go.

The most confident children are the ones used to an environment. It’s much more difficult for children to settle in somewhere when all the other children know the expectation but they don’t.

dairydebris · 09/05/2026 10:12

Not again.

Please please please stop this obsessing. She's perfect the way she is.

Send her to nursery so she can be free of your analyzing her endlessly for ND.

I wish there was a way I could help your little one.

Daisymae55 · 09/05/2026 10:08

I’m the mum of a highly sensitive child and I would strongly advise getting her into a preschool.

My little girl was a lot more sensitive/anxious than you have described in your post. Since starting preschool at 3 1/2 she’s completely changed. She still has some anxieties and sensitivities but overall she is much more confident and things that had previously been impossible with her are totally fine now. She’s actually considered quite loud and outgoing by her teachers which is not something I would have ever expected to happen. She’s also loving learning and the change of scenery everyday.

From what you’ve posted those seem like pretty typical behaviours and I wouldn’t particularly be concerned about them. But I do think preschool would be really beneficial. I was so worried about sending dd to preschool as I honestly didn’t think she would cope but it’s honestly been the best decision

Pugglywuggly · 09/05/2026 10:03

She doesn't sound overly sensitive to me. It's normal and expected to be more overwhelmed in busy environments. Busy parks are overstimulating for adults, and we don't have the very real worry of being pushed or knocked over by other boisterous kids. Sounds like she'd really enjoy preschool with her ability to concentrate, take turns and role play.