To think DH is selfish for not helping a day before the hike

He's 100% taking advantage of you. Absolutely rage inducing!

Why would you do all that? I'd have let him get up at 5 but said I'm tired I can't help being tired and rolled over. He's a selfish lazy orick and I can't believe this behaviour appears once a year for the hike

Why doesn't he take a cab to the start point? There's no way I'd be waking up young kids at 5am to drop him off. You need to stop doing things for him like the good little woman.

Start putting in boundaries on your side so that he can bang his head against it. It's the only way he'll learn or divorce him and go for 50% custody so he'll have to parent his kids.

Obviously. I'm just pointing out that your comment is part of the nasty, bullying MN habit of derailing threads over utterly pointless detail picking at perfectly normal things that an OP has done in a way that is vaguely critical without any validity.

Yes it’s a very common type it seems.

I’m afraid that after my busy day the day before I’d have been too tired to get up at 5.

I'll comment as I see fit!

It might, or a ride with one of the friends he goes with or head up the night before and stay over with someone. But none of this is really the issue. OP hasn’t said that a 5 am lift is what’s bothering her. So focusing on that and why she isn’t answering questions on the details is really beside the point.

So I would also have told him to sort out his own transport at 5am. And not to wake me up when he got up

I would have told him to go to the shops himself. And tbh what kind of selfish twat is he that he expects his family to get up at 5am to drop him off. Neither me nor DH would ever do that, we'd sort out our own transport so as not to inconvenience the family.

This is what happens when you have one person (you) who thinks of their spouse, and one person (him) who only thinks of himself.

Agree with PP that you didn't have to do any of this. If my husband had a day off work but expected me to run the kids around and do chores while he was in bed (unless he was ill or something) my first reaction would be wtf? Really? Why can't you do it? If he leaves you to it 'because he can't help being tired' I'd be telling him his lift was off, because I couldn't help being tired.

At the moment it seems there are no consequences for his horribly selfish behaviour. Have you even told him, I think that it's really unfair that you are leaving your share of parenting, chores and lifts to me. I feel disrespected that you think you deserve free time and I don't. It's not fair that you have much more down time than me. That you don't even acknowledge that I'm taking over your share of parenting.

With selfish people you need to really spell it out, make it transactional, and make sure he feels the consequences of his actions.

Sorry. This is the next 50 years of your life unless you step up and stand up to him now.

Maybe, but a lift with a fellow competitor might be an option, giving them petrol money.

No way would I get out of bed that early yet alone drag children out of bed so he can drink. That's crazy. He could get a lift, taxi whatever. That would not be my problem. Plus why so much sleeping, no no no no.

My DH used to do 26 mile march (Army Res) every year. I never had to drive him anywhere. He prepared his own stuff and wasn't sore or complaining afterwards as he had trained to do that mileage. So I think your DH is playing the martyr.

Oh op, not advise really but I think it’s within your right/reason to be irritated! I am fuming for you. I have two little ones and god it’s just one endless slog sometimes so I do feel you. I ask hubby to watch the toddler whilst I am in the shower within minutes she is in the bathroom and all he can say is she wants you… so it must ve a thing. Hopefully, he let you go out for a coffee and a book on Sunday and watched the kids…

Next time, he gets a taxi

Wow. I definitely think he should have been more useful the day before! I don't think I'd have got everyone up at 5 to drop him off after that honestly.

As a single parent, yes it was hard looking after two boys on my own (Dad had them every other weekend) but you hit things done because you had no choice.

In a lot of ways it was easier after we’d split as all decisions in my home were then my own. No second ‘adult’ to interfere or feel resentful about his lack of support

So when he asked you to pick up the drugs, you said SURE.

You have mug tattooed on your forehead.

If they have personal spending money, that would be a reasonable approach, but many families don't and a £200 is £200 out of the family's budget so getting up and doing the drive instead of paying someone else to do it saves that much. If OP never gets the equivalent money and help to do things for herself, it's unfair, but if she does it's just a sensible way of getting the most out of their money as a family - and a very common way families do things

I am reaching my limit of reading about useless selfish men and doormat women on here.

You went to the shops for him with all the children in tow ? And you got everybody up at 5am ??! You are being taken for a mug here. What a lazy manchild. He should get a taxi at 5am. Or lift pool with his mates who are going too.

He’s had a year to plan / budget for a £200 round trip taxi ride or share it with a mate

No way does the whole family need to get up at 5 am
order an uber
he’s had a year to plan
as for not going to the shops - lazy arse