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To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

636 replies

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:25

I go to a strength training class a few times a week. It’s almost always all women, class size is about 15. I’m not especially strong or experienced at lifting weights but I notice I’m always lifting the heaviest (sometimes by a long way) than every other person there. I’m also working to my maximum capacity for the 8-12 reps we’re doing. I’m huffing and puffing and sweating doing bicep curls with an 8kg dumbbell in each hand and I look over and the woman next to me is lifting a couple of 2kg dumbbells with no visible effort at all. I see this in a lot of the women there. They don’t seem to push themselves to their limit or even that close to it. I’m talking about women a similar age to myself that have been going to the gym for at least as long as me. I get some people may not want to push themselves to their max effort for whatever reason, eg. an injury, but I’m seeing lots of women seemingly not putting in half the amount of effort that they seem capable of and over a long period of time. So this makes me think the reason must be they don’t believe they are capable of lifting heavier, or they don’t want to lift to their max ability for some reason. Why do you think this is? Have you experienced this? Do you not work to max capacity in the gym? If not, why not?

OP posts:
BIWI · 08/05/2026 23:14

And I'll ask you again @Ilostallthepens - what are you wanting from this thread?

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:14

gamerchick · 08/05/2026 22:48

Why are you watching other people OP? And lol at using 8s thinking it's a flex. It's not very nice to criticise, is it?

Some people do heavy weights low reps. Some light and high reps. Focus on your own training.

If you're doing 12 reps with an 8 you need to go up a weight or 2 though. Try some 10s.

And ffs in general we're not men. Stop being scared of heavy weights. You're not going to turn into the hulk.

It’s a total flex 💪

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 08/05/2026 23:14

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:55

I’m not distracted or judging. It’s just something I’ve been wondering about as I find it a bit puzzling so thought someone here might be able to shed some light on it. I think it’s fairly normal to wonder about things, but I forgot, this is MN, where you can’t ask any kind of question without judgement and backlash 🙄

Literally everything you have said has been judgemental and shitty with an ‘I guess no one is as perfect as me’ tone sooooo….

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/05/2026 23:13

Screamingabdabz · 08/05/2026 22:54

Most women are not actually in a gym. Or ‘lifting weights’. They’re living a life. Reading, working, walking the dog, watching tv, travelling, shopping, gaming, eating, scrolling, seeing friends.

Perhaps you should get a life too?

Your argument doesn't work at all. Going to the gym is just as valid a component of "living a life" as any of the things you list.

I don't go to the gym personally for what it's worth.

I'd stick with telling the OP to stop judging others. That's enough.

ToffeeCrabApple · 08/05/2026 23:13

I don't want big muscles. I want to be a healthy weight and strong/fit enough. I don't think its sustainable for everyone to be trying to eat a ridiculous amount of protein to support unnecessary muscle mass.

I don't go to the gym to "train". Just for a pleasant, healthy amount of exercise. I'm not a professional athlete and have never enjoyed the feeling of pushing my body to the max.

FloralDeerPattern · 08/05/2026 23:12

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:47

So what results do these women want by lifting a weight that (by the looks of it, obviously I can’t know for sure) doesn’t provide any kind of resistance, so therefore doesn’t work their muscles at all? What result are they looking for by doing that?

I'd imagine they just enjoy it? The routine of it, just some time to themselves zoning out listening to music moving their bodies?

I'm a runner and some people just enjoy pottering around doing 5km a few times a week, barely breaking a sweat just doing it because they like it. Other people do it to challenge themselves to see what improvements they can make that's where they get their enjoyment from. Who am I to say that one of them is better than the other, they are both getting what they want from it.

EnglishBrits · 08/05/2026 23:12

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:09

I’m not aware of this trend in women? In men yes definitely but not in women. I think more women lift weights these days, but as a few pps on this thread still seem to believe, lifting heavy weights regularly does not make you overly muscular or bulky as a woman! Not even close. You’d have to take a hell of a lot of creatine, protein powder, steroids even, to get properly bulky as a woman. Even to get toned you have to work incredibly hard and have a strict diet

Do you not see the ass workouts?

BIWI · 08/05/2026 23:11

@Ilostallthepens what are you trying to achieve from this thread?

BeigeBanana · 08/05/2026 23:10

Orchardly · 08/05/2026 22:27

Why are you watching other people at the gym? What they’re doing is none of your business, and knowing what they’re all doing is creepy.

Focus on yourself and leave everyone else alone.

This

vincettenoir · 08/05/2026 23:10

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:47

So what results do these women want by lifting a weight that (by the looks of it, obviously I can’t know for sure) doesn’t provide any kind of resistance, so therefore doesn’t work their muscles at all? What result are they looking for by doing that?

Maybe they want an hour or so to themselves, to burn some calories, maintain their current fitness level, improve their mental health, sleep, balance, maybe just to listen to their favourite tunes and get the endorphins flowing. There are so many different kinds of results people can achieve through exercise.

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:09

jetlag92 · 08/05/2026 23:01

I could always lift heavier - I don't understand this trend to have really overly muscular bodies - it's really not attractive in either men or women.

I’m not aware of this trend in women? In men yes definitely but not in women. I think more women lift weights these days, but as a few pps on this thread still seem to believe, lifting heavy weights regularly does not make you overly muscular or bulky as a woman! Not even close. You’d have to take a hell of a lot of creatine, protein powder, steroids even, to get properly bulky as a woman. Even to get toned you have to work incredibly hard and have a strict diet

OP posts:
Happytaytos · 08/05/2026 23:09

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:04

I’m not judging, I’m trying to understand something that I don’t understand. You do need to ask a few questions to try to understand something. How is anyone supposed to learn otherwise? Why do people on MN always try and shut people down for being curious about something or accuse them of being judgmental/horrible/jealous/pathetic etc etc. I’m just trying to understand something. There’s a lot of nastiness on here and it smacks of people with very unhappy lives. Honestly, people with happy lives are not nasty to strangers on the internet. So you may want to keep that in mind

You literally been nasty to strangers on the Internet with your questions.

Because they don't want to is a good enough answer.

Tigerbalmshark · 08/05/2026 23:09

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:04

I’m not judging, I’m trying to understand something that I don’t understand. You do need to ask a few questions to try to understand something. How is anyone supposed to learn otherwise? Why do people on MN always try and shut people down for being curious about something or accuse them of being judgmental/horrible/jealous/pathetic etc etc. I’m just trying to understand something. There’s a lot of nastiness on here and it smacks of people with very unhappy lives. Honestly, people with happy lives are not nasty to strangers on the internet. So you may want to keep that in mind

OP, you are the person who starts threads asking why other women are so weak, lazy and pathetic, and from your other thread, why women are such slags.

Do you really not understand that this is how you are coming across to everyone?

changenameagain555 · 08/05/2026 23:08

Some women have had their pelvic floor shot to pieces by pregnancy n childbirth. Whilst you can support it you can’t really reverse. Prolapse with kegels and are advised not to lift really heavy weights.

jetlag92 · 08/05/2026 23:08

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:04

I’m not judging, I’m trying to understand something that I don’t understand. You do need to ask a few questions to try to understand something. How is anyone supposed to learn otherwise? Why do people on MN always try and shut people down for being curious about something or accuse them of being judgmental/horrible/jealous/pathetic etc etc. I’m just trying to understand something. There’s a lot of nastiness on here and it smacks of people with very unhappy lives. Honestly, people with happy lives are not nasty to strangers on the internet. So you may want to keep that in mind

Your aims at the gym may not be the same as others - tell us what you want to achieve and we can help?

Happytaytos · 08/05/2026 23:07

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:47

So what results do these women want by lifting a weight that (by the looks of it, obviously I can’t know for sure) doesn’t provide any kind of resistance, so therefore doesn’t work their muscles at all? What result are they looking for by doing that?

Perhaps it takes effort and they make it look easy.

Your attitude is the reason some women don't even walk through the door of a gym.

OnceUponATimed · 08/05/2026 23:07

Ha! You could have been judging my mate that I went to the gym with last week. She lifted only light weights. In the meeting of the main because two days later, she did an ultramarathon and ran 50 fucking miles. Yet, she wouldn't have judged you doing park run or a measly marathon.

EnglishBrits · 08/05/2026 23:06

KitchenColourandstyle · 08/05/2026 22:27

Back in day when I went to the gym I did low weight high reps. I wasn't looking to build muscle just to tone.

Edited

Yeah but that won't tone. You would also find it very hard to build muscle

BIWI · 08/05/2026 23:06

I’m not distracted or judging

The very title of your thread:

To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

You are so judging @Ilostallthepens. This is nothing about 'wondering' and absolutely everything about judging other women. Stop trying to pretend otherwise.

JanesLittleGirl · 08/05/2026 23:05

gigglygrace · 08/05/2026 23:03

Do you mind me asking if you are taking Alendronic Acid?

I do. And Evacal.

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 23:04

Orchardly · 08/05/2026 22:52

again, why does it matter? You’ve been told by multiple people not to judge people at the gym and you’re still doing it - you’re a disgrace.

I’m not judging, I’m trying to understand something that I don’t understand. You do need to ask a few questions to try to understand something. How is anyone supposed to learn otherwise? Why do people on MN always try and shut people down for being curious about something or accuse them of being judgmental/horrible/jealous/pathetic etc etc. I’m just trying to understand something. There’s a lot of nastiness on here and it smacks of people with very unhappy lives. Honestly, people with happy lives are not nasty to strangers on the internet. So you may want to keep that in mind

OP posts:
leaflake · 08/05/2026 23:04

Also, getting bulky is not a particular concern for me but nor is it something I'm actively aiming for.

But after hitting the gym regularly, mostly training legs and core with a relatively small amount of shoulders/arms/upper back, I bulked up enough that a lot of my tops don't fit me any more. I don't look obviously muscly but I have had to pretty much buy a new wardrobe, and a lot of what I haven't replaced because it still technically fits doesn't really look good any more because its a bit tight. And its because I've gained muscle not fat. And I haven't really focused on my upper body at all (was rehabbing a lower back and knee injuries) so its been fairly incidental.

Balloonhearts · 08/05/2026 23:03

Have you ever considered minding your own business?

researchers3 · 08/05/2026 23:03

Ilostallthepens · 08/05/2026 22:39

It’s not about being competitive. People don’t lift weights to compete with each other (unless you’re in a weight-lifting competition!) It’s about improving your fitness, building strong muscles, toning up etc. You’re not going to get those results if you don’t challenge yourself a bit

Maybe for some people going to the gym at all is a challenge. I am recently in that category for various health issues/a chronic condition. You wouldn't know it to look at me i don't think but I'm now in pain and quite weak.

But I agree with PPs, put your beak away!

gigglygrace · 08/05/2026 23:03

JanesLittleGirl · 08/05/2026 22:37

I'm recovering from osteoporosis. I am following a medium load, high rep regimen to rebuild my bone density. Please resist the temptation to judge everybody who isn't you?

Do you mind me asking if you are taking Alendronic Acid?