To think some women could lift heavier in the gym?

I go to the gym.
I lift. Heavier than some, lighter than others.
I look around me and I do watch other people..... and I silently cheer on every fucking woman I see in there no matter what they are doing or how much they are lifting. It's not a competition.
Kudos to any woman who shows up and has a go.

I'm not sure how you can so confidently state that. Almost everyone I know is recovering from sort of sports related injury. It's the main topic of conversation at work, after the weather.
I've got a shoulder tear myself from too heavy lifting.

I’ll tell you what I do in the gym:
Exactly what I want because I pay my fees like everyone else.
You actually don’t know why anyone is there. You’ve said people are there to get stronger/build fitness/grow muscle but actually there will be people there just happy to get out of their house for an hour without their kids. There will be people there using that time for pure escapism. I go with my son as it’s a nice bit of bonding time for us, he does a lot of football/cricket/snooker stuff with his dad, this is something we enjoy doing together. If we get stronger in the process - great, but my objective is to embrace something that he enjoys and take part in it with him.
The weights people are using are absolutely none of your business.

You’re not going to get those results if you don’t challenge yourself a bit
But you do t know what results they want.
Everyone is on their own journey. Leave it at that.

So what results do these women want by lifting a weight that (by the looks of it, obviously I can’t know for sure) doesn’t provide any kind of resistance, so therefore doesn’t work their muscles at all? What result are they looking for by doing that?

It doesn't matter what they want. They are doing their thing, you do yours.

They are still moving and exercising their body. How many more times do you have to be told that what other people do in the gym is their buisness.

@Ilostallthepens you're not just asking questions though, are you? You're judging. You're judging other women based on what you think you (and by implication, they) should be doing.

@Ilostallthepens

I think it depends on the average age of the group. Some women are very much still in the mindset that lifting heavy weights makes them bulky. Some women do not want to exert themselves.

A lot of people do not realise how much weight/resistance is needed as a protective measure against muscle waste as you get older.

Any exercise is better than nothing at all, so regardless of how much they do/don't lift they are doing something great for themselves.

But if you lift too heavy too fast, you can easily be injuring yourself in that 6 months without knowing. You seem a bit novice, TBH, because you'd realise that heavier isn't better, how injuries occur over time, etc.

Weird thread, altogether, since you've had explanations but doubling down on a flawed view.

Oh, I agree

Working out for leisure and enjoyment seems to have gone out of fashion at the moment

I think that's a shame. There are so many types of exercise to enjoy and so many ways to do weights but only the really hard workouts seem to get publicity at the moment.

I got into the gym to manage work stress and I think that's a healthy way to manage it

Training to be an ego driven arse though I take it. Your asking a pointles question that doesn’t need to be answered or asked it’s a simple situation an answer to which I know “ they just don’t want to lift heavy” and In your case it will be “ I’m better than anyone in this class cause I act like a dick and can lift 8kg” go to bed you absolute melt

@Ilostallthepens I’ll engage with your point about curiosity in good faith, though I’m not sure it was entirely made in good faith.

I agree, I am idly curious about a lot of things I see in daily life and think mumsnet is a great place to get answers. So I think it’s fine to be curious and to ask. But it’s the FRAMING of your question that I think people are finding challenging and if you read it back through that lens then I’m sure you’ll see it too.

it’s in AIBU, which you must know is not the place for true curiosity. It’s a place that actually invites judgment, so by the very nature of posting it here, is judgmental

the title: AIBU to think some women could lift heavier in the gym? It’s not framed as a question about seeking to inform or learn. You have decided that some women could lift heavier in the gym and you are asking if that opinion is unreasonable.

You’ve said that you notice how you are the only one lifting heavier weights and that others are choosing lighter ones by a long way. People are struggling to understand why/how you are noticing. When I am working out I am thinking solely about my own form, weights, what’s coming next etc. People have found it odd because it suggests you are actively looking, which implies judgment.

You’ve equated effort with goals, and that might not be true. It might be. And I’m sure you are right that for some women they don’t know what they are capable of, or have believed myths about bulk. But they might have a tonne of other reasons for going to the gym, that are different to your goals. Why do you lift 8kgs and get huffy and puffy? That might not be why Jane or Deborah goes.

Your message is DRIPPING with judgment, not curiosity.

Light medium and heavy all
have their place in my workout

I don't want to work out at max capacity every time

Mostly, I'm there because I enjoy it

Some days are about maintenance, some days are about building muscle

Lightweight and high reps is more about the activity and I think it has a different cosmetic effect

There's millions of types of workout

I also found that lifting heavy made me have more DOMS than I was comfortable with

I'd like to maintain, and I like to enjoy my workout and not feel like I've been beaten up the next day

It sounds like you have a lot to learn about working out! there's no need to judge other peoples workouts

Hi I am one of the women who lifts lighter weights than you

it is because I am doing it as rehab for an injury on my physio advice

i am going to build up very slowly

i am there for my own reasons and not to impress the woman next to me

Beak out, OP.

The only time I notice what weights others are doing is when they don't put away the very heavy weights they've used and I can't lift them off the machine, or when they try to lift too heavy a weight and it bangs down on the machine. On every fucking rep.

Clue. It's always men.

Why would they need to if they dont want too?

It absolutely is competitive. You think you're winning and they're not.

People don't always have to push themselves and I really hate this side of society, that you have be doing everything and be doing it to the absolutely limit of your ability and if you're not an expert then you're nothing. It's like people taking the piss out of others for walking part of a marathon. Just leave people alone.

No on is being nasty to you OP. I’ve given you an inkling of the science behind building strength and am pointing out why other people lift differently to you. This lady with the smaller weights you just singled out in your OP can’t defend herself so plenty of MNetters have come on here give her a voice.

If you’re that curious just ask her and please come back on here to let us know her response!

I don't enjoy pushing myself in the gym.

I enjoy different things to you.

That's ok.

Absolute classic though. Get your arse handed to you, pretend you were asking a genuine and innocent question and everyone on here is just so mean!

It's people like you that make some women too uncomfortable to use the gym.
Mind your own business and leave people to do what they want to do.

Looks like her aim at the gym is to be as nosey and unpleasant as possible and I bet she's really good at it.

So judgey. I'm embarrassed for her. And her faux naivete in being called out on her is terrible!

I don’t want to work my arms hard every time I go into the gym - sometimes I work harder on other parts of my body that need it more. I have a routine I like to follow still - on one day you’d think I was lifting heavy next time not so much. Don’t judge you aren’t training the same as anyone else. Be nice and don’t give anyone side-eye it’s hard to feel confident in the gym.