AIBU to expect some housework done during my partner's mat leave?

So if he’s out at work and she’s doing ‘sweet FA’, who is looking after the baby?

On the days that you’ve been solely responsible for looking after your baby, how much housework have you done got done?

Maybe she will or maybe her second child will be far easy than the first or perhaps she will wait a few years. Plus op hasn't given any information so his child could have been born last week for all we know.

If she can't spare 10 minutes, then let's hope she doesn't have a second child. Her eldest would die of neglect...

You do realise that maternity leave is to recover from childbirth and look after a baby? And that if someone is on maternity leave they have a job and are contributing money to the family themselves? It is quite possible that OPs partner is contributing more financially than he is.

Sweet fuck all? She's looking after their baby.
She also works and presumably her maternity pay is also going towards the family.

Because otherwise it implies she’s sat doing sweet FA for 8 hours a day minimum while he’s out earning money for the family

If this is only one baby involved, your partner seems a bit unreasonable.

So terrible for father to do their own laundry after a full day of work but fine for working mothers. Presumably op did his own laundry before his partner was in maternity leave so why is it so difficult now?

She can tidy it but why not when he gets home if OP is looking after the baby if it's only 10 minutes? Why is OP making a big deal out of it? And I doubt she is forcing him to do her laundry. He can just ignore hers and do his own. I'm not making assumptions based on whether OP is a man. I am making assumptions based on logic.

Wow the amount of people saying she doesn’t have time to do couple dishes or pop on a load of laundry is ridiculous, ive had some hard labours/births, ive exclusively breastfed (including doing all the night feeds as baby wouldn’t take a bottle she is now 2 and still breastfeeding in the night) and i have 2 disabled children and i have just put a load of laundry going (second today) and fried up some bacon to have with dinner later, i have also done the dishes, ive also picked up toys and put them away twice today wiped down all the surfaces twice and made lunch for kids, and she doesn’t have time to tidy up after herself just herself? Leaves it all for OH to do after working all day. gobsmacked 😶.

How many days each month are you in sole charge of the baby to give your partner a break, OP? And what household chores do you manage to get done on those days?

Please provide a quote where the OP has said this.

From the OP you actually have no idea what the scale is. They might be freaking out about 6 crumbs and a dirty glass for all you know.

If there's not much, she can easily tidy it then!

I agree there's no reason he can't do his laundry, but he didn't say his laundry, he said the laundry, which indicates she's not doing hers.

I feel you are making a lot of assumptions on the basis of him being a man, and therefore not pulling his weight, rather than taking what he is saying at face value.

You're unreasonable. Hire a cleaner if you don't want to do the work yourself.

There's been no suggestion that she's not doing basic hygiene tasks, just that she's not doing the housework.

And he has voiced his concerns, sounds like several times and she said she's looking after the child and doesn't have time to do it.

So what now? Just keep asking her again and again why she can't do them? or what is your advice exactly?

Yes I do think leaving your shit all over the house everyday is disgusting

Agree, some babies/ toddlers cannot cope with being put down by the dad, they cling to mummy for dear life as if daddy is a stranger, I see why now, so many mums afraid to spend a minute away from their baby. It’s important for dads to bond with their child and not coming home from work to simply clean/ cook.

Disgusting? Really?

He specifically mentions getting home from work and tidying up "the mess she has made during the day". I am saying there realistically can't be much. I see he is complaining about cooking dinner but presumably she is looking after the baby during that time rather than putting her feet up. Why not look after his baby so she can cook? And what is wrong with doing his own laundry?

we can only really speak from our own experience. I had a baby with severe reflux and didn’t sleep at all but I still got all the house work done. But then I enjoy cleaning the house and it would have got me down if the house was a mess. But I completely stopped cooking and we lived off ready meals and my husband’s cooking where he had time. Things like ironing we outsourced. I would have been bored just sitting at home just breast feeding and whilst I did nap during the day it was just on off. I don’t personally stuggle to do the housework.

No, he didn't ask whether she should be doing housework whilst he is out at work, but during her maternity leave. That implies all of that time, not just 9-5.

We know he's doing all the laundry, all the cooking and tidying up each evening. Why you say he wants her to do everything is beyond me, it's certainly not implied and what he wrote.

He is complaining that she is not doing housework while he is at work and she is at home with the baby. He hasn't said anything about the weekends or evenings when he is there. Also, why is he cleaning when he is getting home rather than looking after his baby so she has time to do it?

That doesn't make sense. If it was 50-50 before baby, and now she's not doing any housework then he's now doing 100%. If she does 'some', that doesn't suddenly mean she's doing his share, but that he's not taking on all of her housework plus his own.