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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to expect some housework done during my partner's mat leave?

462 replies

Cljw · 08/05/2026 22:25

My partner is on mat leave, I work full time. Then when i get home, i have to tidy up after her and the mess that has been made throughout the day, do the washing and cooking etc. (Woe is me, i know) but when i voice my feelings regarding this, i get the 'im looking after our child, i dont have time to do any of that.' So AIBU to ask her to do some housework?

OP posts:
Gowlett · 08/05/2026 22:33

How old is the baby? I was BF on demand.
The house was upside down for a while…

CypressGrove · 08/05/2026 22:33

Depends on the baby as to how much else you can fit in. How much housework do you get done when you look after the baby all day on the weekend OP?

Papersquidge · 08/05/2026 22:31

Depends if he’s getting up in the night to help you with feeds so you can get some sleep? Or just blaming his job for leaving it all to you! Like looking after a baby isn’t the hardest job there is!

BIWI · 08/05/2026 22:31

Firstly @Cljw how old is the baby?

And secondly, have you ever spent a day on your own with the baby?

Oh, and edited to ask: is your wife waking up during the night to feed the baby? (Either breastfeeding or bottle feeding)

Steelworks · 08/05/2026 22:30

Yes, I’d expect some housework done, apart from the early days or weeks. Doesn’t have to be much, but when the baby is sleeping etc. something can be done, even if it’s basic tidying or peeling the spuds or emptying the dishwasher.

BestZebbie · 08/05/2026 22:30

Yes, when she is not working (looking after your baby) or attending to her basic biological needs then she is free to do her portion of the housework, pro rata by how much time you each have after your respective working hours and physical survival needs.
I think you will find that she has a very small amount of time compared to you in every 24hr period.

SaltedPotato · 08/05/2026 22:29

Depends what kind of mess it is.
Currently on maternity leave and depending on the type of day I have the house can range from clean and tidy to messy. My priority is going to be the baby. I like a tidy house but I'm also doing all the night wakings and having a needy baby full time is hard. When she's asleep some days I do housework, others I take a beat and get myself ready for the rest of the day.
My DH understands this. My 'job' is looking after the baby.

PeloMom · 08/05/2026 22:29

It’s maternity leave not cleaning leave. If you don’t do chores when you get home what do you expect to do? Put feet up and be served dinner?

IpDipDipMyBlueShip · 08/05/2026 22:29

When I was on maternity leave I stayed on top of the chores, but I was always a tidy and neat person and couldn’t stand things unfinished.

Was she like this before?

BIWI · 08/05/2026 22:29

Having a baby and being on maternity leave means that she is at home to look after the baby.

Why would you assume that this automatically means you have a housewife?

LimbOnTheTreeTheTreeInTheHoleTheHoleInTheGround · 08/05/2026 22:27

You already have, and she gave you the answer 🤷🏽‍♀️

Motnight · 08/05/2026 22:27

How was it during your paternity leave, Op, did you and your partner manage to get more chores done?