AIBU to expect some housework done during my partner's mat leave?

Thank you. Yes of course we cannot do as much as before pregnancy as it takes a toll on our bodies.

I was trying to say that I don’t understand baby care by itself being full time work and that no housework is possible on maternity leave after physically recovering from the birth itself.

Some housework should be possible if mother and baby are fairly healthy.

You could do some research about the hormonal changes for women and what the body goes through when you have a baby. Also does your baby nap, if not then she can’t do anything really. Sometimes I don’t get anything done cos she will only nap in the car and then j can’t do anything. On days she naps in the house I can do some bits. When my partner comes in from work and takes the baby then I can do some bits but looking after a baby is a full time job and alongside sleep exhaustion who has the energy for house work! Just get through the baby stage! If you go on at her you might not have a partner at the end of it. Support her and be kind

How old is the baby? It can take a couple of months to get into the swing is being off and managing the house load too. Some days you accomplish nothing and others you can do anything.

Putting that added pressure on will not help

If it’s the same every day that would be annoying but some days I couldn’t put the baby down and when I did I had to sleep or have a shower

Wake up people, OP is long gone. This was doubtless just rage bait.

Who knows why she isn't doing it in the day time? The point is that it is not a big deal. Unless she has always been very messy (in which case OP knew what he was getting into) this is probably just temporary while she is looking after a small baby and it doesn't matter. He doesn't have to do his partners laundry. And no, looking after the baby while his partner cooks dinner is perfectly normal.

Ok so if it only takes 10 minutes to clear away her mess why isn’t she doing it? How is it unnecessary to do laundry? I assume they need clean clothes- especially a baby, they spit up, nappy’s explode etc.
sure he could come home and say right i will look after the baby you can crack on with cooking dinner but then hes the asshole who expects his wife to cook him dinner after looking after the baby all day isn’t he?
it just totally baffles me how she has literally no time to do anything other than look after the baby.

😂

I have read the OP. He has said he comes home and cleans her mess from the day which must take about 10 minutes and he also says he does the laundry which seems completely unnecessary. He can just do his own at the weekend. He can look after the baby when he gets back and suggests she cooks dinner etc.

I'm talking about general housework. I didn't see it as my job to be cooking and cleaning.

He said he's cleaning up after her when he gets home, we don't know that she doesn't put a cup in the dishwasher, you've just decided that he does absolutely everything including washing her pants, he may well just mean that there's baby stuff everywhere and things like that.

Presumably she’s throwing the dirty nappies unfolded at the walls, spraying ketchup around when making lunch and pulling everything out of every cupboard and onto the floor while baby naps, which is why poor OP is working his little self to the bone after work as well.

Please read the OP again you are making no sense at this point 🤦🏻‍♀️

Arguably you are making things up at least extrapolating.

You don't think it's your job to put your cup in the dishwasher or put away a bit of laundry (which includes your own clothes).

No, that's not what the post says. You're just making things up now.

If he is only tidying "mess" from her day, what tidying can he be doing beyond a bit of washing up? That isn't all the housework. For all we know she may be do loads of housework at the weekends if he is looking after the baby then too.

No I was able to manage but I had easy babies, and I know that just because I managed does not mean that everyone else can manage, even if plenty who have difficult babies or recovery periods could, so I think it's disgusting how people are talking about this woman.

And I did it because I wanted to, I didn't think it was my job to, and if my ex had tried to tell me to do it that would have been a different story.

Have you read the OP?
“Then when i get home, i have to tidy up after her and the mess that has been made throughout the day, do the washing and cooking etc.”
he is saying he gets home and has to tidy up after her AND the mess that has been made during the day so no she is not doing homework in the evenings either.

Maternity leave is to look after and bond with baby.

It is not "stay at home mum" leave. She isn't any more responsible for the household than you are. If she is living in mess, get her help. Support her. Talk kindly to her and make sure she isn't suffering from post partum depression.

She is exhausted, sore and overwhelmed. You got to sit at a desk and your biggest decision was what to have for lunch.

Stop viewing her as lazy and yourself as a martyr.

He hasn't said she doesn't do any housework ever. He has just said she doesn't do any when at home with the baby by herself because she doesn't have time.

Its not being shared though thats the point. Going by OP he does all the housework including cleaning up her mess she has made throughout the day and cooking dinner, thats not shared.

Maybe the spare 15 minutes would be better spent having a cup of tea and a rest than doing housework. Housework can be shared with OP in the evening or weekend.

Fair enough. Perhaps they are both pretty incompetent.

Are you saying though, when you had a baby, you couldn't do anything else at all? How does that even work? I just don't get it. I find it utterly baffling.

Perhaps OP would be doing school runs. Maybe he would even be doing the parental leave. Or maybe they would have a nanny or a au pair. Who knows.

No i am not i am reading the OP and going by what has been said, he has to do all the housework after being at work all day, and after voicing that she could do some housework she has said she doesn’t have time, my argument is that out of the 480mins (assuming 8 hour work day)he is not there she can’t find 15 to get a few things done or clean up after herself?