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AIBU?

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Original poster

To ask if you believe that as a grandparent, you should be responsible if your teenager had a baby but then refused to take care of it?

109 replies

Namechangerextraordinaire1 · 08/05/2026 22:23

This is hypothetical, but I'm curious how others feel. Do you think as the baby's grandparent, you should step in? or do you think even as a grandparent you can say, I can't do this, it's not my making, and I'm not able to step in? Do you think there are so many variables it's not easy to give a blanket yes or no?

OP posts:
PygmyOwl · 09/05/2026 01:26

It's not clear which vote means what.

JemimaTiggywinkles · 09/05/2026 01:24

Grandparents should raise a child of their child if possible. But in some cases it would be better for the baby to be adopted at birth. I actually think family (grandparents, aunts, uncles) should step in to raise older children (who are unlikely to be adopted) unless doing so would cause exceptional hardship (eg kids sharing rooms is a pathetic excuse to let your niece / nephew go into care). I know this (looking after extended family) view is unusual on MN.

BreakingBroken · 09/05/2026 01:01

how about right of first refusal, which i think SS do anyway.
not all women are physically and mentally able to take on child rearing a second time around. some issues that may have led to a teen pregnancy might indeed be related to family dynamics.
so although it's nice and more family centric it simply may not be the best long term solution for a newborn.
i have a close neighbor who took on the grandchildren m-f with the father's parents (yes grandparents equally same age) taking the children in this case s-s.
all set up by the courts and SS.

Gealach · 09/05/2026 00:59

I couldn’t vote on this. If in the very unlikely event my teen had a baby, then yes I would feel a responsibility and a want to take care of them.

But a grandparent might have a disability, they might be mentally unwell, they might have small children themselves.

It’s something that would need to be accessed on a case by case basis.

Jk987 · 09/05/2026 00:56

It’s not about ‘should’ but you would surely have the instinct to scoop that child up and love it more than anything?

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 09/05/2026 00:49

As it's hypothetical and there are so many variables, and you haven't said what your own opinion is, I have no idea how to vote.

theodextrey · 09/05/2026 00:46

It is complicated, I believe situation variables apply. Especially if the grandparent is unable to properly care for child whether due to disability, finances, etc. it would be a difficult situation to be in and I have sympathy for people who deal with this.

I know a few people who are raising their grandchildren, in these situations the young parents were too immature or using drugs, couldn’t maintain employment, and one of the children had a pretty intense autism diagnosis and the teen parents couldn’t handle those high needs so the grandparents stepped in

GretaGip · 08/05/2026 22:24

Could you clarify the voting please?

PonyPatter44 · 08/05/2026 22:23

Dont be ridiculous.